Even my illnesses have psychological problems

Friends, I seriously can't make this up.  One day, I hope to write a screen play of all the ridiculous shizz that is my life.  I swear sometimes it feels like a Modern Family episode!
 
I woke up today feeling like death.  My chest hurt.  My armpits hurt.  I had what I like to call a 2 pack a day cough.  It was ugly.  Since Turkey Day is Thursday, I didn't want to mess around, so I made a doctors appointment as soon as the office opened. 
 
When I got there I was greeted by a large sight that said, and I'm paraphrasing:
 
If you have a cough or flu like symptoms,
don't be an a-hole and hack all over us.
Put on this mask.
 
Noted.
 
I'm sexy and I know it.
 
 
So I put on the mask, and of course I had to immediately post a picture to Instagram.  It's what bloggers do, am I right?
 
I was quickly quarantined to an exam room.  I didn't pass go, get weighed, or collect $200.  The mask apparently is very intimidating, and others view you as an extra from Contagion or The Stand.
 
Me and the hubbs having a laugh.
 
 
I didn't have to wait long for my doctor.  Who is a bowl of sunshine let me tell you.  The woman looks like a fairy went through menopause, gained a good 30 pounds, and sports a grey pixie cut.  Dare I say she sings her diagnosis?  Well she does, and my diagnosis was manic bronchitis.
 
Let me type that again.
 
MANIC BRONCHITIS
 
Of course I couldn't wait to call my BF and relay the news that even my illnesses have psychological problems.  Which she laughed hysterically, and I tried to laugh but hacked up a lung.  It also forced me to write this blog post.
 
Can I just say that now that I have the bronchitis, I really ain't got time for this?
 
Mentally unstable bronchitis aside, it's not that bad.  Things could be worse.  Like a bloggy friend of mine who posted a picture to Instagram this morning of her kiddos lying on the floor with a bucket.
 
A Bucket.
 
I'll take my multiple personality bronchitis over the stomach bug any day.
 
Any.  Day.
 
It wasn't so bad.  My momma brought me my first red cup of the season
 
 
Next time you all have a cough or the sniffles, know that your illness is probably relatively normal.  Like the common cold or strep throat.  Because I would guess that you are most likely normal. 
 
Not like me. 
My illnesses must have psychological problems. 
 
 
 
PS: emailing and posting is going to be spotty at best.
This bug is a real bitch.
So if you need me - send me a tweet!
 
Don't miss the Black Friday Giveaway at Beth's place!!

11 comments:

  1. Hawtttt mask. Feel better soon;-)

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  2. I love how you turn being sick into something hilarious!!! I love you & hope you feel better soon!! xoxo

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  3. How funny! I too had this a month ago and I was cracking up but my dr office didn't have a sign up with masks like yours. Love your blog!

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  4. I hope you feel better too! I too am fighting a cold at home just in time for Thanksgiving :)

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  5. Aw, it's no fun being sick around the holidays but I agree -- I love how you turn being sick into something hilarious! :) I hope you feel better soon! xo

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  6. You love lovely dahling! Like- stabley so ;-) I think? :D Haha what a great pic to capture. You should've discreetly gotten one of your dr too lol. I'd be worried if mine sang my diagnosis! haha Get well soon!!

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  7. Looking good in your mask! Who knew such a thing existed...manic bronchitis...so does that require a cocktail of both zoloft and an antibiotic?? Lol. Hope you feel better soon and you can have a nice Thanksgiving!

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  8. That is so funny! Hope both you and your manic bronchitis gets better soon!

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  9. Even when you're sick, you're hilarious!! Hope you're feeling better soon!!

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  10. The best way to avoid contracting influenza or cold is to keep yourself warm and drink plenty of fluids. Liquids like tea can also reduce mucus thickness. You can also use a humidifier at home as warm moist air causes the bronchial tubes to relax and it loosens up mucus, however, care should be taken to clean out the humidifier regularly to avoid bacteria or fungi propagating in it. If managing a humidifier is problematic, breathing in steam from boiling water can soften mucus while adding a few drops of eucalyptus oil has enhance the effect of steam therapy as the oil contains antibacterial properties which can heal burning sensation in the throat. Still, there are some other natural foods for bronchitis treatment like: honey has antiviral as well as antibacterial properties and eating a tablespoon daily be useful to treat bronchitis as it helps soothes the throat and build an strong immune system. Oregano oil and salt water tends to lessen throat soreness and a few drops of oregano oil or gargling salt water are enough to cure severe or uneasy breathing. Garlic and turmeric has antiviral and antibiotic properties while turmeric have anti-inflammatory properties. Add one teaspoon of turmeric powder or some freshly chopped garlic cloves in a glass of milk, boil it for some time and drink. Orange and lemon juice are rich in vitamin C and have antioxidant properties. Drink lots of orange juice to build immune properties in the body. Or boil a cup of water and add a few drops of lemon juice in it and drink to relieve throat soreness. Ginger has immune building and anti-inflammatory properties. Add half a teaspoon of ground ginger and cinnamon to hot water and drink the mixture. In addition drink plenty of water as it is necessary to keep your body hydrated during cold and influenza bouts to avoid your throat from getting dry, which can make coughing painful.
    Reference: http://bit.ly/2b4w5Rg

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