Night Shopping

A Christmas love letter to my mom. 

Re-posting today, it's original publish date was 12/21/11. 

I hope you like it.

It's really true that kids say the funniest things.  Since my mom broke her shoulder and can't help me with the kids, my Christmas shopping has been a mess to say the least.  There have been many times that Caitlin and I go out after Daddy gets home from work.  Caitlin now refers to this as night shopping.

We were in the car and from the backseat, over the Christmas music she just has to listen to, I hear this little voice say, "I love night shopping".  I asked her to repeat it, and indeed, we were night shopping.  Then it reminded me that my mom and I went night shopping all the time.

So I told Caitlin that since Grandma was a working mom, Grandma and I used to night shop all the time.  I think that my mom and I night shopped every holiday.  It's the memories though that are so sweet and precious to me.  The idea that my mom made every Christmas prosperous, when it indeed wasn't.  How she turned even the most unfortunate events into something magical.

I never knew of financial strain all those Christmases.  Like the Christmases when the car broke down, or the rent was late.  The year we went Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve is one of my favorite and most fun Christmas memories.  I didn't know it was because Christmas Eve was on pay day, and we had to wait to buy gifts.  I had no idea that buying a mini Christmas tree was a necessity and not a new fun holiday tradition to try.  I had no idea that that huge and magnificent over 6 foot Christmas tree was indeed a discarded tree because of the big holes and missing branches.  My mom made it beautiful, O Christmas tree indeed.

All those years in "Dance and Twirl".  All those weeks leading up to Christmas spent in the car.  Driving to performances.  The hours my mom spent on costumes, tights, and "secret Santa" gifts for the under 11 set.  How on earth did she make that all work, and hold down a full time job, and be a wife?  We laugh at all the dinners we ate in the car during those holiday seasons.  Back when I could eat McDonald's.  She once told her friend that if she didn't let me eat in the car, I would never eat.  This is mostly true.  Now, buying your kids McDonald's is frowned upon, but I still do it.  Especially this time of year.  The smell alone transports me back to some of my happiest and most beloved Christmases.

It's amazing what Mom are capable of doing.  I'm learning everyday.  We can change the direction of things.  Turn mountains back into mole hills.  All my childhood Christmases are filled with wonderful memories.  There was no want.  There was no scrooge.  There was only love, laughter, and that one thing I just had to have, was always under the tree.  Somehow she always managed to get me just what I asked for.

Night shopping with Caitlin is not a necessity for us.  I get the privilege of staying home with my girls.  A luxury many don't have.  But, I know that it's the little things that children remember.  Sights, smells, and little shopping adventures.  So I think we will continue to night shop, even after Christmas.

 

Dear Santa, we were brave.

I'm taking a short break from the blog this week.  So since I don't have new content to share at the moment, I wanted to share some of my favorite posts from last December.  Originally published on 12/9/11, this post still gets me every time.  Enjoy, and I'll be back soon...

Last night John and I took the kids to see Mr. Mall Santa.  Those guys are a dime a dozen, but who am I to poo all over the rite of passage that is meeting Mr. Claus.

I will tell you that Caitlin has not taken a photo with Santa since she was 18 months old.  She has outright refused.  And in said 18 month picture I'm in there with her... Nice make up free face and all... No I'm not posting a picture.  Last year only little Miss Mackenzie, at all of 8 months was too confused to realize what was happening, so we did get a decent picture.  Again no picture, as it will take away from the picture I'm about to show you.

This year the original plan was to only take Mac to the mall to meet Santa.  Caitlin had already express that she would not be meeting or taking a picture with him this year.  That's fine.  She really doesn't like him, or anyone else in costume.  It's fine, I guess it has something to do with being 4.  However, the more I talked about taking sister while Caitlin was in school, the more I guess Caitlin felt she would be left out.  So, on Wednesday, Caitlin decided that we would all go see Santa, at the mall, after Daddy got home from work.  She said she would just stand by Santa and smile, BUT she would not talk to him... I took this as a sign that we should at least try and give her a chance to face the Big Guy head on.

So we did, we got dressed up (not me, as a side note for later), and after dinner we went to the mall near our house, and as if it were a Christmas miracle there was no line.  There was one family in front of us whose children screamed bloody murder, thus creating a panic among my children, and I think you know where this is going...

Caitlin broke down and said NO!  Mackenzie and I went to meet Santa and she told him no, straight up, to his bearded face.  I was able to plop Mac in his arms, before the waterworks and the pictures were done.  No big, another year of only one child with Santa.  So what?  Now here is where the big drama started...

As soon as I went for my wallet to pay for Mac's pictures, Caitlin let out this horrific scream, like if someone told her I made good on my promise to cancel Christmas when her and Mac were fighting over the last Oreo.  She was hysterical and sobbing.  John and I were finally able to piece it together... She wanted to take a picture with Santa.  That's right folks, now we wanted a picture, but wait there's more... She wanted me in it... Remember the side note... Yeah me in all my unwashed hair, no make up, 4 year old faded red hoodie glory!

We talked and it was decided that Caitlin and I would stand by or around Mr. Claus, and Mac would again sit in his lap.  I have to say the people taking the pictures were awesome!  So we got lined up and then right before the click, I stepped out... This is what we got...

This photo makes me laugh and cry all at the same time.  First because these two look so sad to be with Santa.  They look miserable.  How do I convey just how awesome and magical this guy is?  I'm laughing because this is classic Christmas overload for both.  Why do we make our kids snuggle up to a perfect stranger?  Isn't that the craziest?

I tear up because I've seen that look on Caitlin's face before.  This is what she looked like at preschool drop off for the first 4 months.  This is her face when she really wants to do something, but she is really very scared.  This is her pushing through the fear.  I've cut off the part of the picture where she is twisting her dress in her hands.  She really was that nervous and scared.  Her heart was beating a mile a minute.  But just like overcoming any fear, there she is, facing it.  So while I wish she looked happier, I'm so proud of her in this picture.  She did what many of us can't, sum up the courage, see something to the end, and be able to go forward without regret.  A proud moment as a mom.  It's a proud moment for her too.

Dear Santa,

We really do like you at the Crutchfield house.

Don't let this picture fool you. 

And even though we've had some trying times,

we have been very good.And very brave. 

We hope you enjoy our cookies on Christmas Eve.

Love,

The Crutchfield Girls

 

InstaLife {Last half of November Recap}

 

I'm sure I don't have to tell you how crazy the last half of November was. I follow most of you on Instagram and Twitter. This is going to be picture overload, but life is just going to get crazier, and there is no other way to dump all these pictures.  Be sure to visit again next Monday! I'll be co-hosting Life Lately with Alli at Life on Leroy! Seriously a great link-up and obviously a shameless plug. My apologies in advance of what is my life in Instagrams for the last 2 weeks in November.

 

 

 

That's a turkey breast that didn't cook.  Like 6 hours later it was still bloody.  It must have been slightly frozen in the middle, but since I'm a dunce in the kitchen...

My baking on the other hand went fine, and that's all that mattered.

That little body in the dark is Mac, setting up for the last Fresno State Tailgate of the season.  Since the game started at Noon and Daddy didn't want to go scope out a spot at 5 am, we went the night before.  Totally hardcore right?

Our Elf came back.  I'm sure you know B. Fiddlesticks by now.  Mac loves him, and yes touches him.  It's fine.  The magic is still alive, in the love that she gives him.

 

 

 

Still using my favorite Instagram pic of the moment.  That was on Turkey day to say thanks!

The Dogs won their last home game and the weather was perfect.  It was all around a perfect fall day.  Scarf and boot weather in the morning, Toms in the afternoon,

and a winning football team by dusk.  So much awesome.

Mac and Caitlin love their cupcakes.  Can you tell?  I think Mac has something in her teeth, no?

 

 

 

That, dear readers, is Caitlin's first Instagram.  It's a baby Loopsie.

Caitlin also got her first recital outfit.  It's amazing.  It's a tutu thing with sequins, and ribbons, and gemstones, and more sass than I know what to do with.

That's an Elf photo bomb if you can't tell.  B. is such a joker!

Mac, giving her sister this look that is half adoration and half, I'm gonna mess you up.

 

 

 

We got our tree last Tuesday.  It's a fake.  But I don't care.  My girls are in love.  And so am I.  Especially when I can get great shots like this, and the one below.

 

 

 

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

I know it's going to fly by and be busy and stressful.

But let's make a pact to take time out to enjoy the little things.

Like toddlers who play under the tree in their diapers.

 

 

Thirty Days of Thanksgiving {Instagram}

 

There was so much to be thankful for in November.

Here's my recap via Instagram pics.

 

 

 

I didn't realize that I didn't say thanks on the 9th or the 23rd.

All I can figure is that I was having too much fun and had too much to be thankful for.

Also I purposely didn't do a day 30.

That's because I'm thankful for it all.

The opportunity to really give thanks each day for 30 days.

The idea that there really is something to be thankful for each day.

And the realization that it's the little things that bless us in life.

 

 

It was the 90s, and other excuses {Looking Back Link up}

 

 

Are you all ready for this?

I don't quite think you are.

Prepare yourself for the absolute horror that was mistaken for fashion.

Tell yourself that this person, the 12 year old me, conscientiously, picked out this dress.

That I thought that this was perfect for my 6th grade promotion ceremony.

I could say, well it was the 90s, I was only 12 years old, I didn't know better...

I have no excuses.

I knew better.

Both my grandmothers read Star Magazine, and since I could sound out words so did I.

So I knew Mr. Blackwell, and I knew better.

 

See for yourself.

 

 

Mind you, this is a picture of a picture. But still. It's red, with some floral/Hawaiian floral. Items to note: The watch, a Mickey Mouse watch bought at Disneyland with great pride. My spiral permed hair, and if I must, permed bangs. My smile is just so since I was rocking a brace face. Also what you can't see since I had to crop the picture, white turn down socks with lace, stuffed neatly into white slingbacks. Oh, and of course they aren't just white slingbacks, they are pointed toe, small kitten heel sling backs. Because every 6th grader should wear turn down lace socks with sling backs. Seriously, was I getting fashion advice from ZZ Top videos?   Let's talk about the bright side, Oh because I'm going to find one after this fashion disaster...   The bright side would have to be that 34 year old me thinks 12 year old me is cute. Just like my mom used to tell me that all the things I hated about myself, made me cute. The chubby cheeks, the smile, even the spiral permed hair. Why is it that at 12 we never believe our mothers?   Note to my daughters, who will read this in the future some day: One day, your embarrassing early adolescent pictures will no longer embarrass you. In fact you may or may not publish them on the Internet for anyone to see. Because you will grow up and appreciate the hard knocks of being a pre-teen and then a teen. And you will look in the mirror one day and beg for those cheeks and that shiny hair with zero grays, instead of the baggage under your eyes and the roots that grow in 2 weeks after a pro dye job. You will realize how far you have come, and wish in your heart that you could tell 12 year old you, just how awesome being 12 really is.         Link up y'all.