The rug

  Just when I thought I had it all figured out...   The rug got pulled out from under me.  

Ignore the bags under the eyes.
This is what exhaustion looks like.

  Ok, that's not really the truth. I'll never have this motherhood thing worked out. But I had gotten into a pretty successful groove.
Successful to me. To you, this might look like a bloody disaster.   Like all things in motherhood you have to be ready and willing to change.   Why don't they tell you that shiz from the beginning? Why doesn't someone just say, "You can read all the books you want.  Go ahead and buy that $385 breast pump.  Make your own baby food if you want.  Just be aware that if you are not flexible, you are 110% screwed".   I say screwed, but I mean something else. It's starts with an "F".   Finding my groove in motherhood has been fantastic.  A little routine to keep me sane, to keep the kiddos in line, and to keep the husband thinking that I'm successful in the "work place".  The work place being my home, and the success being that the kids are alive and fed, and that some of the laundry is done, and that the grilled cheese for dinner isn't burned.  It's not the best case scenario in the best of parenting books, or even parenting blogs, but it's my scenario.  When I think back to my early days as a mom, I'm surprised that I'm even standing here.  Those early days were dark.  I didn't think it was possible to find my footing.  But little by little, grilled cheese by grilled cheese, laundry pile by laundry pile, I found a way to make it work.  Even with the daily disasters that come and go, we are on a roll here.  Until, the rug is pulled and hey, mama's back to work.    The biggest lesson I've learned as a mom is that you have to be flexible. Like 21 year old college pilates instructor, flexible. Because motherhood is a cold hearted, well you know, and she will throw curve ball after curve ball. And just when you feel like breaking she will throw you another.   So as I dive back into the workforce for a short stint as a seasonal employee, it's like spring training and all I'm seeing are curve balls.   What would motherhood be without daily disruptions to your routine?   It would be boring. And childless.  

Wore: new glasses

 

    Glasses are a girls best friend. You didn't know? I've been oddly jealous of those who wear glasses. I wear them too, but only for blogging or reading. I can't wear them out of the house without getting dizzy or sick. Until Firmoo.   I know what you are thinking, shameless plug for free blogger swag. Yes, and no. Yes, because I did get these glasses for free. No, because I'd totally buy real glasses from them in the future. What do I mean by real glasses? These my friends are fakes. Poser glasses if you will. And I'm not ashamed of my undying love for them. They make me feel smart. They, like sunglasses, take the focus off my dirty hair, or unplucked eyebrows. They give me a little sass if you will.   Let's talk about the free pair to you for being a first time customer. Yes, free, all you have to pay for is shipping. Do you want a new style of your prescription glasses? You can order them directly from Firmoo. When you order on their website, they ask you for your prescription, and even have diagrams to show you how to order them correctly. It's so easy, I swear. I'm planning on ordering another pair with my prescription! Plus they offer free shipping with a purchase over $35 in the US. With some pairs just around twenty bucks you could get a pair for you and a friend!     What else did I wear with my new glasses? This is me on Saturday when I went to get my hair done. At a salon, professionally. Let me tell you it was bliss! Over sized shirt, leggings, long layering tank, and my sweater. My old lady maternity sweater, that I just can't quit. When I wear it it feels like a hug.   So yes, shameless plug, for a product that I do actually love. I promise. Check out their sight and get your nerd on.    

I before we, except after kids

 

Some me time.  Like a vacation.

  The balance of time. Or perhaps the balance of me. Does anyone else feel like they have to cut themselves into pieces? Like horcruxes. A bit here, a bit there. I'm always cutting pieces of myself to give. But what about the piece to myself?   I feel like I give and give and give. And some days receive nothing in return. I'm mommy, and wife and too often forget about me.   The hubbs and I had a conversation the other day. More of a fight really. Because instead of just telling me he misses me, he has to point out all the other things taking my time. I'm always on the computer. I'm always writing. I'm always too tired. I'm always too involved. With other things. The girls. The blog. My friends.   I reminded him not to take personal offense.   I don't even take real time for me.   It used to be that my selfish acts to take time for me went unnoticed. Until the kids came along. Now I think it's my right to forge time for myself. Didn't I give mind, body, and soul for those two little humans? Don't I continually do that on a daily basis? Shouldn't I get to be selfish once and a while?   Then I remember, there is still a WE. The WE that still needs work. Love, laughter, and communication. And most of all time. Time to be a we again.   So now I'm trying to balance my time. Between the kids, the marriage, and the me.   Because before there was we, I was me.   And I can't forget about her.      

Why do we hate Anne?

  It's been a full week since the Oscars and still all I hear are complaints about Ms. Hathaway. Why? Why do we hate Anne so much???  

image via google

  Is it her hair? I know sometimes we don't really like women with short hair.  Not me personally, but I've had short hair a couple of times in my life, and was subjected to some dirty looks and questionable behavior.  Is it because she looks so utterly fantastic in short hair?  Or maybe because we all know she did it for Le Miz.  Who knows, but why do we hate her so much?   I heard a report from Mr. Gossip himself that she threw a diva tantrum about her co-stars Oscar dress.  That the dresses were too similar and so, she had to decide on a new dress last minute and made every one's life Miserables.  Ok, look, I'm no Academy award nominated actress, but you bet your ass if I found out one of my friends was wearing a similar dress to a fancy high profile function, I would rip some faces off.  Just think back to your high school prom... Doesn't anyone remember the Kelly Taylor/Brenda Walsh prom fiasco?  Oh, I may have just aged myself, but seriously.  This was the eve of the biggest event of Anne's acting life... Could we cut her a little slack for going full Diva on a few people?   Another report before the Oscars was that her acceptance speeches at the Golden Globes and the SAG awards were too emotional.  Too much mush, and teary love for her husband.  Seriously folks.  Too much emotion?  The gal shaved her head to play the part of her dreams.  Then she did a good enough job to be nominated.  Then she went on to win.  Beating out the likes of Sally Field.  So yeah, she cried.  Cry girl.  Let it all out.   The final straw for me has been the media frenzy about her "too rehearsed" Oscars acceptance speech.  Too rehearsed.  Like she expected to win.  Sure, she didn't cry, she didn't weep.  Isn't that what pissed everyone off about the last two award shows?  Let's say she did a little planning and practicing so that she wouldn't blubber and piss off the masses.  Only to piss them off even more.  So she said, "It finally came true".  Didn't she just win for singing her ass off, including a line, "I dreamed a dream"?  Maybe she didn't fall on her face like Jennifer Lawrence (who I LOVE by the way).  She wasn't overcome by her emotions last Sunday, she was poised and practiced, and apparently annoying and insincere.    I'm not going to lie, I've been working on an Oscars acceptance speech since I was nine and watched the show in it's entirety with my mom for the first time.  It has changed from Best Actress to Best Original Screen play.  And perhaps like Anne, I'll keep practicing it until I use it.   So what gives?  Do we want an Anne Hathaway with all the poise and grace of say Lindsey Lohan?  Would we like her better if she had a curtain of glorious locks?  Would we think she more sincere if she tripped on her fancy gowns, or called her husband an asshole at the podium?  Who knows.  Let's just remember, that poised, rehearsed, sometimes emotional woman we currently love to hate, at one time looked like this:

image via google

    Ok not really, but she played this in her humble beginnings.  And then she went on to win an Oscar.  But not before she hosted the Oscars to some pretty horrific reviews.    This debate over Ms. Anne, may in fact be old news, but I'm still stumped.  Why do we still hate Anne?  I personally don't, I still love her movies, The Devil Wears Prada is a favorite, and I'm sure when I get to watching Les Miz, I'll think she was fantastic and Oscar worthy.  Yet, as I went to write these thoughts I googled her only to find an entire section of Huffington Post devoted to loving or hating Anne.  Which was sad and oddly facinating at the same time.   I'm pretty sure it's her hair. You can't pull off her hair cut with out some confidence.  

image via google

  Go on with your bad self, Mz. Hathaway!         Linking up for some Monday Morning Gossip!

dear march {little letters}

  yes, i'm going to write this without capitilization. editors choice if you will...   dear march, oh, how we meet again. my favorite month, yet a dreaded one as of late. you will bring spring weather, easter pastels, and of course my birthday. so cruel.  

 

dear caffeine,

i love you madly, deeply, truly.

i had no idea you could pack such a punch.

after a year you are my dearest friend, but i can't hang like i used too.

still, you are glorious on sunny days with the windows down.

 

 

dear moms everywhere,

i mean this 110%.

horrible mothers are just a myth.

 

 

dear hubbs,

a saturday basketball date was just what we needed.

i don't even like basketball, but i like you.

and your jokes about the team.

thanks for making me go.

 

 

dear friday night,

you don't look like you used too.

neither do i.

i'm happy to tell you i'm good with this.

very good.

 

 

dear firmoo,

thank you for these glasses i can't get enough of.

i feel esteemed.  i feel nerdy.

i feel like this is such a shameless plug.

oh well, i'm addicted to these.

 

 

dear artsy anthropology,

i'm in love.

serious, runaway together, have babies love.

i can't wait to rock my new clutch everywhere!

 

 

dearest mac,

don't ever stop being you.

 

dear readers,

i return to the workforce on monday.

for reals this time.

bear with me and my bloggy.

i'll keep writing, when i can, so please keep reading.

 

 

    little letters with the freckled fox. who is also beautiful and crush worthy.