Happy Birthday {Miss Mac turns six!}

Dear Miss Mac

Today you are six. This is the first year you have really noticed that it's your birthday. It's the first year you have counted down the days. It's the first year you have taken notice that April 26th is all about you.

Can I just tell you how much you have grown in the last year? This time last year you could only write "Mac". You weren't reading yet, and didn't really care for busy work. This year you finish your homework without fuss. You read twelve books this month, on your own, only asking for my signature after filling out your book log. You write at least two pages a night in your learning journal! That's more than mommy is writing right now! I'm so proud of you!

This year you also let your hair grow long. You've lost some teeth. Which I love because it makes your smile even cuter. You have decided that ruffles and sparkles are not for you, and that's fine. You've found yourself in leggings and tee shirts even if mom has to look the other way when you wear the really faded ones.

In the last year you have found your sense of humor and personality. You have finally figured out that we are never laughing at you, just laughing with you. You are sassy and sarcastic. You're a real practical joker. You act so much like me and daddy, which would be fine, but you're six and we're adults. The sarcasm and humor you have are rarely found on little ones your age. I love it though, even when you're so sassy and sharp with me. Even when you need to mind your tone... I love all of it.

Today I find myself wondering where the little four pound baby went. So tiny all bundled up, wearing preemie clothes for months! You are still so petite that I gave away your 3T shorts because they were no longer dress code friendly. That's another thing, thanks for agreeing to Bermuda length shorts this year. It saves us all a lot of trouble with the school principal.

I love that you love books, even the ones that sissy reads without pictures. That you still need my ear to play with when you fall asleep. That you love trucks and cars as much as Barbie and Elsa. That your favorite cartoon is Teen Titians Go.

Precious girl, I'm so very lucky that you picked me. When I chose your middle name I had no idea just how much grace you would give me. Thank you for re-teaching me the lessons of motherhood. You and your sister continue to school me every day. But with your grace, I'm better able to handle it. I'm better able to be myself.

Happy Birthday Mackenzie Grace. Every year is such a grand adventure with you. May every birthday wish come true.

Mommy loves you. So very much.

*********************************************************************************

Mackenzie Grace, minutes old.

Mackenzie turns six today and this day is one of the best days that ever happened. It was also one of the scariest. I had a postpartum hemorrhage after Mackenzie was born, and had an emergency DNC the day she was born. I lost almost two pints of blood. It is still one of the scariest things that's has ever happened to me. Because of all the events of that day, there are very few hospital pictures of us. Above is one of the rare ones. Every year on Mackenzie's birthday I celebrate and reminisce on all the blessings I have and have had since that day. Every year I am so thankful for this life and all those I share it with. 

It truly is a "birth" day for the both of us.

I love you a hundred and fifty four seven five {Mac turns 5}

I find myself in a land of cliches as my baby turns five today. I want to talk about how time flies and that if you blink you'll miss it. In all honesty it doesn't seem that long ago that I was pregnant with Mackenzie. That the Hubbs and I were still arguing over her name, that I was still sick despite my entrance into the second and then third trimester. The memory of her "birth day" is still so fresh in my mind, and yet so far away. It is as if I've blinked and we have landed here, at five.

Mac's fourth year was so full of wonder and discovery. She is so aware of the world, and so very logical about it. Nothing is missed by my Miss Mac, even when you try to lie or white lie, she will seek you out and cross examine you better than any attorney. We will never pull a fast one on her. This past year she learned her letters and her numbers. She became aware of words and books. She has fallen in love with drawing and storytelling. She loves music and card games. This was the year Mac decided she wanted long hair, the first time she demanded clothes without ruffles, and has on occasion put toys back at Target, so she could buy shoes or clothes. She discovered the magic of secrets at Christmas time. This year she went from my toddling baby to a fun loving, adventure seeking girl.

Still I look at her and see my baby. Her hands are still impossibly small, just grazing the tops of my palms when she sets her hand in mine. I can still pick her up, but just barely. Her little noodle arms still wrap tightly around my neck. She still needs to rub my ear when she falls asleep at night, and I can't deny her that need. I can't stop picking her up or snuggling her neck, because I know all too well that one day she will be too big to lift. To big to fit in that place in my lap that seems carved out just for her. On a recent night, as we laid in her bed, she asked me to sing to her, which is just cruel on all accounts since my voice is horrible. But I indulged her with a song I sang to her as a baby, a Lemonheads cover of Frank Mills, that for some reason I still remember from my freshman year in high school. It's always seemed like a sad song about a lost friend, and at the end she quietly said, "I don't want to grow up Mommy". And I cried a little because she gets what I already know, that this time with her, as this tiny little human, is fleeting. She will always be my baby and there are so many adventures on the horizon, but she will only be this small and this too-insightful-for-an-almost-five-year-old, just once. How does she know that?

Her smile can stop time and her laugh is infectious. She has a sense of humor rarely found in a child her age, and will laugh and repeat jokes if she knows they will make you laugh. Those are things you cannot teach, those are the things that come with you when you are born. I watch her and think, how did I get this lucky? But like with most things in life, right time, right place, right heart.

The best thing about Mac turning five, she understands numbers and values. For a full month she would tell me, "I love you a hundred and fifty four seven five", and I would say, "I love you a hundred and fifty four seven five times a billion". Then we would just giggle, and try to out number each other. We would come up with crazy combinations, but none could ever hold the value or express the right amount of love because this kind of love is unmeasurable.

This kind of love lives somewhere between here and infinity.

Happy Birthday Mac, Mommy loves you one hundred and fifty four seven five. And many more.

The thing about this year

I didn't send out birthday invitations for Mac's birthday. This was a first for me, a true motherhood milestone. I wrote "Mac's b-day invites" on my to-do list daily for three weeks. I made a mock up for printing at Walgreen's. I finally printed them out 11 days before the big event. And then forgot to pick them up from Walgreen's and send them out. I picked them up the day before my RSVP deadline, and hand delivered them to family. In a last ditch effort I created an event on Facebook to invite friends at the last minute. And everything about this paragraph kills me.

The thing about this year is that Mommy is learning to juggle her time, and is trying to keep her head above water.

I forgot to order the table, and was lucky enough that the party rental place still had a six foot kids table with chairs available on Tuesday, for our party the following Saturday. I waited until Friday to buy all the food I would need for the party. Of course it rained on Friday and so most of that day was spent planning shopping trips around rain and wind. Thankfully I had bought all the goody bag stuffers and plastic eggs and candy two weeks before Easter and so I didn't miss anything, but I still had no back up plan in the event that it would rain on Saturday too. I bought clearance Easter crafts and photo booth props for a dollar fifty each. The only perk to my procrastination.

The thing about this year was that I didn't have time to think about crafts or Pinterest inspired parties or any of the things that Mac wanted at her Easter Tea Party birthday party, the week after Easter. Which seemed that it would be so easy at the time, but managed to be panic inducing by Friday night.

As with previous years, I waited until the last minute to buy the birthday girl her presents. There I was on Friday at four o'clock in the afternoon, staring at the empty shelves in the Disney Princess aisle. No Anna to be found. A few years ago this would have reduced me to tears, but Friday? Nah. Friday I just moved right along to some other toy that she has asked for a million times, and I've always found a million excuses why we can't get it. So I bought it and a few others.

This picture was taken and used on Mac's 4th Birthday Invitations.
The Invitations that are still sitting on my desk.

The thing about this year is that Mommy needs easy. Mommy needs fool proof. Mommy needs grace.

The one thing that Mommy actually did right was make strawberry cupcakes. Per the birthday girl they were to be strawberry cake with strawberry frosting with a strawberry on top. Easy enough, this was the only Pin I actually delivered on. Until Saturday morning when I frosted the cupcakes with canned vanilla frosting and the birthday girl said that I did them wrong and that she wouldn't eat them.

The thing about this year is that Mommy bought a back up cake. A chocolate, store bought one to be exact, because she did not want to make a horrible cake that Pinterest deemed delicious. And also because people are always happy when chocolate cake is served.

And none of these things mattered, because on Saturday we celebrated Mac. With cinnamon rolls for breakfast and cakes for lunch. We ordered pizzas and used enough paper products to make an eco blogger live in a tree to save it's life. We drank sodas and drank pink tea out of mismatched tea sets that I pulled from the girls toy boxes. Because kids don't care if the cups and saucers match. Kids only care about cake and ice cream.

The only picture of our party set up. Pretty cute right?

 

The thing about this year is that it broke my heart not to be able to handle this party with kid gloves. I worried and stress ate for days. But the thing about this year is that no matter how off balance we are, not matter how stressed or disorganized our lives, we make it work. We move right along. And this birthday was the epitome of make it work. The birthday girl refused pictures in her birthday dress, and would only eat cake if we promised not to sing the birthday song. I didn't get a single picture of the cake or the cupcakes or the tea party with her friends. I didn't even get pictures of her opening her gifts. We did fit in the Easter Egg hunt, and thankfully the weather cooperated. So while it wasn't the day that I planned, the day went exactly as planned.

Because the thing about this year was that it's really hard to mess up a plan, when there isn't one.

The "last baby" turns four

"But the last one:

the baby who trails her scent

like a flag of surrender through your

life when there will be 

no more coming after ---

oh, that's a love by a different name."

-Barbara Kingsolver

"The Poisonwood Bible"

Tomorrow is Mac's fourth birthday. Fourth. It doesn't seem possible and at the same time it  seems completely normal. Mac is now at the age where she wants to know what she was like as a baby. How did I look mommy? What did I do? What was it like when I was born?

How do you tell you child that the day she was born was the best and possibly the worst day of your life? How do you explain the absence of pictures in her plastic cradle in the hospital? How do you explain the absence of pictures with friends and family celebrating her arrival? You can't really. You just give her the story that she wants. The one that she can understand.

So I tell her that she was born on a clear Monday morning, at seven twenty four. And that mommy stayed up all night waiting for her. And when she was born she was so small that even the doctor was surprised. She had the smallest nose, and the tiniest fingers. And when the nurses wrapped her tightly in the stripped blue and pink blanket that she looked like a doll, no bigger than Daddy's brown football that sits on the chair by the sliding glass door. I tell her that she slept most of the first night, and that she slept on my legs, as I lay in bed, watching her so closely as if I had never welcomed a newborn into the world before. I tell her that I loved her instantly and that for lack of a better song, the only one I could think to sing was Hey Jude by the Beatles. And since I have a terrible voice I whispered most of it as I held her as close to my heart as I could.

I leave out the scary parts. I don't tell her that mommy could have died that day. That it took the doctors almost five hours to stop the bleeding. That my soiled bedding ended up weighing almost as much as she did. I don't tell her that I cried, and grandma cried, and that Daddy spent almost three hours alone with her in a recovery room with an empty bed. I don't tell her that my life flashed before my eyes, like a cruel slide show, showing me all the things I loved about being mother, as I woke from the anesthesia. I don't tell her just how close we came to losing this life, that after four years, we take comfort in and take for granted.

One day, possibly when she has children of her own, I'll tell her how she saved me. How she taught me just how wonderful it is to be a mother. How she was able to show me and make me believe that I was a good one. The kind of mother I always wanted to be, and quite possibly the kind of mother I was from the very beginning. I'll tell her that I'm a better person for being her mother, and I'm a better mother to her sister because of that too. I'll tell her that with every year she gets older my heartaches for that tiny bundle of joy, that I finally got to hold after the longest day of labor and delivery. That by the time I really got to look at her the sun was clouded by grey skies, and my arms almost too weak to hold her tightly. I'll tell her that once I got her, in that room well after three o'clock in the afternoon that I didn't want to let her go. Not for nurses, or Daddy, or Grandma. That today, I still don't want to let her go.

One day I'll tell her that her birthday will always be bittersweet. There will always be big parties to celebrate her and the gift that she is to us. But there will always be a quiet celebration for me. Celebrating the precious life I'm so happy to be living. Celebrating the second child I wasn't sure I wanted. Celebrating the discovery of the absolute joy motherhood can be. And it will also be a day to remember that she is my last baby. And she does trail her scent in everything that I do, into every aspect of our lives, reminding us just how amazing life is, and bringing joy to all the chaos and to all the ordinary.

Tomorrow she will be four. And I will tell her that on the day she was born I watched the sun rise over the mountains behind the hospital as I waited for her. While Daddy napped, and Auntie and Uncle broke every speed limit from Tulare to Fresno. I'll tell her that sister drew her pictures, and that Grandma was one of the first people to hold her. I will tell her that the day was perfect.

Because it was. And it is. Happy Birthday Mac.

Miss Mac {Pumpkin Patch Success}

Last Wednesday we went to the Pumpkin Patch with Mac's Preschool Class.

Of course we started our adventure with a selfie.

After a very bumpy tractor ride with 30ish screaming three year olds, 

we were dropped at a corn maze.  The kids were a little iffy at first, but Mac

and her best buddy Ryan soon got the hang of it.  Ryan's Mommy and I just let them go and we eventually caught up with them.  Here they are proud of their success.

Mac had fun picking out her pumpkin.  She was sure to point out that these were still in the ground, not in a box like at Walmart.  She had a little trouble deciding, but then she found a good one.  I love this picture of her trying to hold it.  It was a little heavy for her little arms.

I think she had a great time because her best buddy Ryan was there.  They go to the same school, but are in different classes.  She tells me every Monday that she waits for Ryan on the playground, but sometimes he wants to go on the big slide, and she doesn't like the big slide.  Ryan and Mac have been friends for over a year, since Ryan lives two doors down.  They love to play together, even if it's usually Mac bossing him around.  A few nights ago Mac asked me if I could talk to Jodi (Ryan's mom) and see if they could have a sleep over party at Ryan's house.  Hold me.  But this has to be the sweetest picture of what it's like to have a best friend.  The one you really like to be around.

All in all we had a wonderful day.  Even if it started out with Mommy getting lost.  Even if it was a little too hot for boots and jeans.  Even if it was the first stop of many on that Wednesday.

The pumpkin patch was a success.

And I'll take successes when I can get them.

The Pretend Mommy

Last week I was hanging out with Mac.  Your typical Wednesday night at cheer.  Trying to watch one child and keep the other child entertained.   I'm sure you've been there many times, and in those situations you tend to tune out one of your kids, because let's face it, the brain of a mother can only hold so much information.  The brain of a mother, while multitasking a multitude of things, can really only listen to one person at a time.  And last Wednesday I was only half listening to Mac.  It wasn't until my mom, who was with us, said, "Did she just say her pretend mommy?".
Yup.  She did.  Her Pretend Mommy.
So I asked her, Mac what did you say, and she proceeded to tell me in great detail that her Pretend Mommy was going to take her to Target and buy her toys.  That her Pretend Mommy was going to come to a tea party for her and Black Baby.  That her Pretend Mommy was going to let her bake cookies with sprinkles.  Hmmm.  So I asked her, What else does your Pretend Mommy do?
"She gives me chocolate so she can type on her computer"
Ouch, and I'm pretty sure your real Mommy does that too Mac...
I'm not devastated by the Pretend Mommy bit.  I'm sure when I was a kid, I had a pretend mommy that did all the stuff my real mommy didn't.  Like put make up on me, or let me wear her high heels, which for the record my mother has never worn.  I'm sure that most kids have a pretend mommy that let's them eat chocolate for breakfast and drink sodas all day.  A pretend mommy that takes them to the park on the hottest day of the year, and let's them play in the mud twenty minutes before bedtime.
What most kids don't realize is that Real Mommies do the Pretend Mommy stuff too.  Just not every day, and just not when the kids always want it.  Because Real Mommies still have to make dinner, and drive the carpool, and work real jobs.  Sometimes there aren't enough hours in the day for tea parties, and Target toy sprees, or chocolate bar breakfast buffets. Real Mommies have to set rules that are mostly followed, they have to set schedules that get broken, and they have to do these things to feel like they are the Good Mommies they aspire to be.  They do all these things to be the Good Mommies that they are.
I laughed out loud when Mac told me about her Pretend Mommy.  It was just the kind of thing Mac would say to bust me.  But then I did the one thing her Pretend Mommy could never do, the one thing that makes Mac's Real Mommy better than any Pretend Mommy anywhere.  I gave her a real hug and a real kiss.
Take that Pretend Mommy.

Order your shirt today!

Mac's first dance class

There is something so precious about size 8 tap shoes and ballet slippers.

Something so sweet about a first attempt at tap.

Toes not pointed at all.

Out of step every step of the way.

Something so lovely about first position that first time.

There is just something special about that first ballet class.

In your sisters hand me down leotard.

In new ballet shoes all your own.

There is something so bittersweet about this little girl growing up.

Striking out on her own.

Making friends in her first dance class.

And learning the steps to dance though life.

Store Bought Cakes {Mac turns three}

  Store bought cakes do not a bad mother make.   Let's say it again.   Store bought cakes do not a bad mother make.   It's the truth.  Or so I keep telling myself.  This was the first year that I let birthdays go.  I asked for help.  I bought more things than I made.  I actually stressed that I wasn't going to make Mac's birthday special enough, or memorable enough.   Then I realized it didn't matter.   Mac had a blast turning three.  She only wanted two things: a stroller for her baby doll, and a chocolate cake.  Well precious girl, done and done.  

  Friday we kicked off our celebration with our neighbors in the front yard.  A double chocolate cake from Costco and vanilla ice cream.  Mac played with her friends, played in the dirt, and went to bed, dirty feet in all at 10:30.  She didn't notice that the napkins and the plates didn't match.  She didn't notice that the cake came in a plastic container.  She was too busy eating cake.  

  This is Miss Mac party bound.  Her shirt was bought at a craft fair, and her tutu is from Gymboree.  Her flippies are from Target.  I know right.  Oh and her moves are all her own.  She's pretty much owning three.  

 

Scenes from Mac's party.  Peppa Pig printables by this girl on Etsy.  Let me tell you she is amazing, and has Peppa Pig invitations!  She included cupcake wrappers and punch out circles with this kit.  Mommy knew that cupcakes and picks were way outta her time limit, so I didn't use them, but they were part of the party package.  Also she can customize the printable packs for you, and they don't break the bank.  Check her out!  Also the Peppa figurine is from Amazon.  

Mac really, really, really, wanted a Peppa Pig birthday.  We watch Peppa Pig on loop since I had the brilliant idea to DVR about 13 episodes.  We are a Peppa Pig family, since it's not unusual to find us using British accents!

 

 

This beautiful chocolate, chocolate cake is from Costco.  I added my own Peppa Pig as previously stated.  Here's the thing, I debated whether or not to make a cake like I did last year.  Or to make cupcakes, or to ask someone to make cupcakes.  Then I thought, why, when I can just buy one and add to it, or not.  Why put so much pressure on myself.  So I decided to screw homemade, and order this damn cake.  That everyone loved by the way.  No harm no foul, and we are on our way to ordering one for Caitlin's birthday in June!

 

We also held Mac's party at The Jungle Party House in our local Mall (we have two in this area and this is the smaller one).  It has an art area, a jungle gym, a bounce house, karaoke and dress up for the kids, and a pool table, air hockey table, an Wii, for the adults.  It was the best decision I have made when it comes to birthday parties.  I was cool (considering yesterday hit 90 degrees), it was clean, and I came home to a house that was still clean with no clean up.  I mean really, is there anything better?

 

 

Mac working on some serious birthday party art.

 

 

The hubbs took this picture right after we sang Happy Birthday.

She doesn't really like that, and she refused to blow out her candles!

 

 

However she didn't refuse any cake or ice cream.

I tried to get a smile out of her, this was the closest I got!

 

 

This my friends is the after party.

Because turning three is really hard.

I'm exhausted too, can you tell?

 

 

So once again in the spirit of some of my favorite bloggers (Chelsea, Summer), forgoing the usual Perfectly Pinterest birthday isn't a mommy fail, it's actually a mommy win.  I was less stressed.  I enjoyed myself so much more.  I had a great time, and didn't have to stay up the night before decorating ladybug cupcakes, and a ladybug cake (true story).  I didn't spend three weeks making a tank top dress, or hair bows, or pom poms, I didn't wake up at 5 in the morning to ensure that the pasta salad and sandwiches would be ready in time for the party.  I bought a store bought cake, some printables, and ordered sandwich trays.  I feel I out Pinterested any party.

 

Because a store bought cake does not a bad mother make.

 

Or so I keep telling myself.

 

 

Dear Mac {You're Three}

Dear Mac, Today you are three.  And it's really hard for Mommy to wrap her head around that.  You are my baby.  The one that saved me.  I'm so glad I was blessed with you.
I adore your bad attitude.  Even if your whining drives me crazy.  Even if I can't stand your demanding little voice, yelling at me in the back seat for "more of my song".  I still secretly love it.  Because it reminds me of myself.  My apologies in advance.
I love your sense of humor.  I love that you laugh at all the right parts in Ratatouille.  I love that you laugh and ask for America's Funniest Home Videos. You know when someone is being silly.  You know when something is going to be funny before it's funny.  Keep that.  Hold on to that.  It will come in handy later in life.
I love that you know the words to Call me Maybe, and Stay.  I love that I can hear your little voice singing in the back seat.  It makes me smile and my heart swell.  I love that you get mad when we catch you singing.  Because you are just a tad bit embarrassed.
I love that you call root beer, fruit beer.  Daddy and I have now taken to calling it fruit beer as well.  Don't get mad when we tell your first boyfriend to take you out for fruit beer.  Because we are totally doing that.
Here are a few of the things that you have said lately that have made me laugh out loud. 
Can you go to work to buy more money so you can buy me more toys? - in the Costco parking lot
Where's my chocolate?  I need it because I was crying. - after a tantrum provoked by no one
Mommy, Mommy, MOMMEEEE, Wall-E left his bug friend!   He left his BUG FRIEND!! - during the movie,  little does she know that the bug friend is a cockroach!
I love that you love Pirate's Booty and Cheetos.  BBQ chips and cheese and crackers.  I love that you are an Oreo bandit and we've had to move them to a higher shelf.  I love that you ask for pop tarts and cookies with the stripes.  I love that you are a junk food junkie.  Which is kind of bad, because mommy should make you eat more vegetables. 
I love that you still want to snuggle with me, and still grab my ear when you are tired.  I love that you climb into my bed and I find you there in the morning, taking up all the space.  
I love that you know who Mindy Kaling is because "mommy watches that show".  I love that when you saw her book in Target you said "mommy there is your friend".  I love that you ask for Big Bang Theory by name and tell me Sheldon is your favorite.  I love that you are a pop culture junkie just like me.  I love sharing that with you even if it shows my shortcomings as a mom...
Mac, you are a gift.  Each year has been a gift.  You took everything I thought I knew about motherhood and threw it out the window.  You have made me a better mom, a better person.  You are so smart already, almost too smart.  You are already a better negotiator than your sister.  You already know when we are trying to pull a fast one.  You already know when we are telling white lies.  
But my favorite things are the sound of your laugh.  Hearing your voice.  Your arms around my neck.  Those are the things that remind me that this motherhood gig is worth every minute.  Every heartache.  Every obstacle.  You my child bring great joy, not just to my life, buy to the lives around you.  Even your sisters, even when she acts like you are a major cramp in her style.  
Happy 3rd birthday precious.  My pretty, pretty precious.
Mommy loves you.

To celebrate visit Mac's birth story

Two must be terrible...

 

 

Pinterest / Here

 

 

Excuse the "F" bomb, but shiz just got real.

 

Miss Mac is in the thick of it.  At 2.5 years, her whole life is currently a shiz show.  I feel like she wakes up mid tantrum and goes to bed mid tantrum.  Let's not forget the screaming, oh, the screaming.  For every little thing.  Can't get her shoe on?  Scream.  Can't get a little people van out of the toy box?  Scream.  Ask to watch Nemo, but then really want Yo Gabba Gabba?  Scream.  It's never ending.

 

This isn't to say she's an unhappy kid.  I think she is just frustrated, like all the "books" say.  So last week I decided to put myself in her shoes.  Look at the world from Mac's point of view. 

 

Here is what I found.

 

It must be a complete drag to shiz your pants.  I mean really.  Think about how hard it must be to just decide to poop, and then go ahead an poop where you stand.  All that trouble of never having to find a toilet.  Seriously, how does a two year old live this way?

 

It also has to be a cramp in your ass to have someone stop you to change said poop pants.  How rude, to be interrupted mid tea party with Elmo, to have someone change your pants.  Ugh, can't we just sit here and finish this Dora episode?  We really need to see if Dora can get Tico to "Tall Mountain".

 

Also I think that when you are two, it must be horrible to have some authority figure force you to bed.  Can you imagine someone hounding, begging, and bribing you to go to bed in the middle of the day?  Ugh, the injustice of it all!  The threats and the time outs alone are enough to drive a person mad, but then throw in mandatory sleeping?  Wow.  And then, if you do give in, and sleep just a little, that's not enough for the authority figures in your life.  They make you do it all over again when the sun goes down.

 

Speaking of time out.  I know that when I'm totally pissed off, the last thing I want to do is go sit on some dumb ass chair/rug/spot on the floor, and quietly think about what/who just pissed me off.  When you are two, this must be the mind "F" of all time.  I'm sure that my own two year old has her own baby language of obscenities that she throws at me along with her death stares, while I make her "think about" her actions.  Her actions being that she just lost her "shiz" because Barbie won't fit in the My Little Pony Car. 

 

In my opinion the worst part about being two is the never ending choices of food.  Someone is always making something for you to eat, and then if you don't like it they make something else.  And right away too.  It must be super hard to say no to roast chicken and mashed potatoes, then grilled cheese, and finally a hot dog.  So hard in fact that in the end we decide on goldfish crackers and string cheese.  I can't even imagine what that's like.

 

Like I said, being two must be the hardest part of growing up.  All the sleeping, the rude diaper changers, the short order cooks.  No wonder Mac is a walking time bomb.  From her point of view I can now understand all the injustices of being two.  I'll be able to better understand next time she throws her icee at me from the Target cart while I look for the right sized diapers for her precious bottom. 

 

 

Isn't two just terrible?

 

 

Mac grows up...

 

top l to r: Mac and her BF; M&M bribes for the dr visit
bottom l to r: Red rocker; Dance Demo; Late night cuddles

    Mac has been forced to grow up. It's not funny, ok? I'm not ready. But it was really out of my hands.   According to the Crutchfield Parenting Guide circa 2007, Mac should have given up her bottle by her 2nd birthday. April came and went, and because she asked for it in the sweetest voice, how could I refuse? With a face like that? So she kept having her "bubbas". And I kept dodging the questions the hubbs was throwing my way. Until June. When she threw up from Midnight to 8 am. So of course milk was out for a few days, and so I thought this is a great time to wean her since she can't have milk in her bubba. So that's what we did. And after a few days it wasn't a battle. But in all honesty, if she hadn't gotten sick, she may still be getting that bubba today.   So as we went along over the summer, the question about her "choo choo" aka her pacifier came up. Questioning looks from people at dance class, school meetings, birthday parties. I guess they thought she might be younger, but no, Mac's 2.5. I know, waaaay too old for a choo choo.
But I was not ready for that battle. No way. She was like a junkie spinning out of control when she lost one. So I was prepared for the battle on the eve of preschool, and then slipping it to her every chance I got. I never said I was perfect.   Well, it's not going to be an issue any longer. Why? Last Wednesday, Mac threw what is now the tantrum to end all tantrums. Because this one will go down in the record books, baby books, and dental records. Mac threw herself on the kitchen floor, fell face first into said choo choo, and bloodied her face, bruised her nose, made her gums and upper lip swell, AND as of 3 o'clock Monday, loosened both her top front teeth. As in they are probably dead, will turn grey, and at some point before they are ready, FALL OUT. I'm thinking she will make a cute jack-o-lantern for the next 5 Halloweens. My BF Krysten has coined her "Mac o Lantern". Is it bad that I'm still laughing about this?   In any event, the dentist has put the kibosh on the choo choos. In fact, he scared me straight when he said the pacifier could help pull the teeth out and she could choke. Scared straight!   So let's recap. My last baby, who is 2.5 years, has been forced to grow up. No more bubbas, no more choo choos, and soon no more diapers.   I wasn't ready for this chapter of motherhood yet. I knew it was coming, but I was procrastinating, like always. I seriously didn't think Mac's baby years would end this quickly. As much as I've lamented about having another baby, I'll be honest, my uterus is weeping.    Pass the tissue, so am I.    

Everybody says I love you {BdayRecap}

I didn't know what it was like to have a talking baby.  Ok, so she's a toddler, but still.  I have no idea what to do with my chatter box.


Mac is talking.  Like in mini sentences.  I'm so surprised because I never expected it.  Caitlin was a late talker.  She didn't even start making sense until she was 2.5 years.  To hear Mac talk and talk is quite remarkable to me.  My grandma even had to point out that I was actually ignoring her.  I just wasn't trained to hear that little precious voice.


These days Mac says and repeats everything!  She can tell you who is on TV (Elmo, Hook, FooFoo).  She can tell you what she wants to eat or drink (bah, jews, chee), and she can even tell you "bless you" when you sneeze, but it comes out "a-choo mommy".  It's enough to melt your heart.


It gets better.  Friday night John taught her how to say "I love you".  I all but cried at the sound.  It took years for Caitlin to master "I love you", and boy did I need to hear it from that child.  Mac's precious and sweet "I wuv you mommee" is music to my ears.  I keep saying it so she will say it back.  Is there anything better than when your child tells you they love you?  I just melt.


Sure she says things like "no" and "mine" and she still screams like a little monster, but all she has to say is those three little words, and butter!  I'm like buttah!


So as amazed as I am about those three little words, I'm more amazed that the kid is two.  Two years old (and one month!).  So to make sure I start referring to her as a toddler and no longer my baby (what?), I'm going to share pictures from her SECOND birthday that were promised almost a month ago!!!  Better late than never right???

Mac's 2nd Birthday Party!!

1 - Cupcakes by Lockhart Desert Catering.  If you are planning a party in Fresno and need a dessert bar or perfectly decorated cupcakes, Jen is your gal.  She's also a really good friend of mine, so I asked her for these early on.  They look exactly like the Pinterest picture!  Like there was any doubt!


2 - This is Mac's smash cake, which didn't get smashed.  Wait till you see her face in the next set of pictures and you will know why.  The bday song didn't go over so well.  My mom bought those candles just for her, but we only lit two regular candles.  I didn't want Miss Mac to set her lovely lashes on fire, like her mama did on her second birthday! 


3- Miss Mac blocks by my Aunt Jenny.  In the market for some blocks, check out her Facebook page.  She's been making them as gifts to folks in our family, and even asked me if she should make some Hunger Games blocks... Uh, yeah?


4- The Mickey Cake.  I was supposed to put a bow on it, but considering it wasn't frosted until 11 am with the party starting at noon.  It's lucky there is a Micky head on it.  And speaking of the Mickey, it's cuttable, edible, sugar paper.  Sold at Joannes for mother's like me, who aspire to be fancy and Pinterest-y, but usually cry helplessly into canned frosting.  Side note, cake and frosting are both from scratch by me, so there I'm sorta domestic and stuff!

1 - Mac in her new suit.  Well Mickey and Minnie inspired clothes.  She looks scared because that is the look she chose for the day.  She looks so miserable in all these pictures.  I guess she is not ready for her close-up.


2- She is so scared in this picture, but of course it makes me laugh!  I know, I'm terrible!  We are getting ready to light the candles, and she is already freaking out because there are like 9 kids staring at her getting ready to sing.  Birthdays are so tramatic!  Just wait Mac, you'll cry at your 29th too!


3- Eating cake with Grandma, or as she calls her Mani.  She finally looks like she is enjoying herself!


4- See that can of Cheedar Cheese Pringles?  Yeah, that was Mac's favorite gift.  My Aunt Jennie (another one, not the block maker) knows Mac likes chips.  So with her clothes, she slipped in a can of Pringles.  Which had to be opened immediately, and the rest of the gifts were opened by me. 

I didn't even know this picture existed.  But I'm sure glad I found it.  We are reading a card, and we are all concentrating really hard.  These are my babies!  They have my heart!! 


So that's it, and it's about time.  What did you think?  Did you like the cakes and the cupcakes?  How about the blocks?  Well we are right back into party planning mode.  Caitlin's birthday is next month!  Back to Pinterest I go!

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