It was just a little lamp...

Every November, around this time, I get really nostalgic.  It's something about the leaves and the cooling Fresno weather.  Something about Fresno State Football and early sunsets.  Something about a cold and sleepless night in November of 1996, that makes me pine for my college days.
Sure I miss the parties and the cute fraternity boys (heck!  I married one!).  I miss the excitement for serenades and formals.  Mostly I miss the girls, my sisters, who lived their life by my side, got ready in the same huge bathroom, who ate dinner in the same dining room, and who shared secrets in our bunks.  I miss living in that huge drafty house, with its creaks and haunts, its noisy bathroom no matter the time, and the available friendship at any hour for any reason.
All of these things I took for granted.  Thinking at the time that this feeling, these moments, would last forever.  That I would always live in that house, that I would always be a step away from those friends.  It's been years, and I'm still so close with many, but our visits are few and far between.  We are women now, with families and careers.  With busy lives that make the weekly all nighters seem tame.  That make those parties and retreats seem 100 years ago.
When I joined in 1996, I remember many people telling me that I was "buying" friends.  Back then I was just a kid and didn't really know how to answer.  I was new to Fresno so I was lonely.  And I did indeed need friends.  So maybe I was buying into the idea of belonging to something.  Maybe I was ready to belong to something after being so independent and on the "fringe" in high school.  Back then all I really remember is really missing my friends in my old town, and desperately wanting friends in my new town.  Amazingly enough I found a spot, where other women accepted me at face value (EVEN IN JEANS!).
Now when I think about "buying" those friends, I realize it's not even close to what I did.  1996 was the year I made one of the most sound and important investments of my life.  I invested in myself, in my future, and in friendship that would prove to be forever eternal.  It was an investment in myself, both academically and socially.  Becoming a Delta Zeta ensured I would become the Megan I am today.  Sister, Woman,  Wife, Mother, Person. 
Delta Zeta brought so many wonderful and amazing people into my life.  I met John (the Husband) at a sister's house warming party.  I have worn at least 3 bridesmaids dresses because of Delta Zeta.  I have attended too many weddings to list as well.  I get more Christmas cards from Sisters than I do family.  And nothing has been more amazing than when the birth announcements started rolling in. 
My life is incredibly blessed because of sorority life.  My nearest and dearest friends are my sisters.  Caitlin's god mother is my pledge sister Shonna.  Shonna was there when both my daughters were born.  She held Caitlin when she was less than an hour old.  How incredible is that?
I miss that house at 5337 North Millbrook.  In that house, with those women, I became me.  I hid nothing, and they were loyal.  I made mistakes, and they forgave.  I loved, and they loved back.  A true investment that has returned many times over.
Then it was just a little lamp, that guided me on my way.  Today it's the flame of my sisters love, that still burns night and day.
Forever in the flame, my sisters...
Happy Blogging,
Megan

What Caitlin Wore

I decided that I can't ever let Caitlin forget about her budding fashion sense.  In years to come she with either hate me or love me to pieces over these posts.  So I'm going to start a new series here on the blog called What Caitlin Wore, to highlight my little fashionista.  It's good to know someone in my family still has style, or as Caitlin says "Look mom, I got 'fashion'".

Here is what we wore to school today... Keep in mind she will only be there 3 1/2 hours...

She wanted to make sure that I got a picture of her backpack!

Yes, she did pick this out all by herself.

She insisted on this hairstyle as well.  Low ponies, Mom!!
Backpack:  Gymboree; Plaid Skirt, Sweater Vest, Navy Patent Leather Shoes, Barrettes: Gymboree, courtesy of Auntie Anne and Uncle Adam;  White Shirt and pink tights: Target; Style:  All Miss Caitlin Crutchfield.

Happy Blogging,
Megan

GD it's GFree! CranberryWhiteChocoChipCookies!



When I think of Thanksgiving I think about turkeys that you draw using your hand, pilgrims in funny hats and cranberries.  For some reason cranberries remind me more of Thanksgiving than Christmas, so I was really set and focused to find something cranberry to enjoy for Thanksgiving this year.

Not all gluten free cookie mixes produce good edible gluten free cookies.  If you bake gluten free, then you probably already know this.  I'm always looking for new mixes, since baking is not something I always have the time to do, especially if it's from scratch.  The easier the recipe the faster I can enjoy gluten free goodness.

Imagine my surprise at the Hodgson Mill Gluten Free Cookie Mix.  Yes, out of a box, and no they are not paying me to blog this.  They have no idea I exist, and I have my mother in law to thank for introducing me to them.  My mother in law comes to visit us and the kids every Sunday like clock work, and she always brings goodies.  Stickers for the girls and gluten free baking mixes for me.  I'm being honest when I tell you that I have like 7 of these cookie mixes in my pantry.  That being said, I have challenged myself to come up with interesting new cookies that are gluten free and very easy to make.  Gluten Free and Easy?  It's like a dream!

Now here is the incredibly easy part... All you need is this...

And one egg... Not pictured.  Also the vanilla is actually standing on Crisco... Yes, Crisco!  It's gluten free!  So, it's not the best thing for you, but in moderation, right?  All you have to do is follow the directions on the back, and add 1/2 cup white chocolate chip cookies and 3/4 cup Craisins.  That's it.  Even better you could add whatever you want, in any combination.  Endless goodness!

I really enjoyed these cookies.  They were everything I wanted to have just in time for Turkey Day.  Now that I'm inspired I found a great cranberry orange muffin recipe, that uses leftover cranberry sauce, AND am going to try gluten free cranberry scones.  Wish me luck... Adventures in gluten free baking are fun and unpredictable.  I'll keep you posted.

Happy Blogging,
Megan

To learn more about Hodgson Mill's Gluten Free Baking Mixes, CLICK HERE.

Perfectly Imperfect


This is the first shot I've seen of our family photos. We took them on Sunday.  They were taken by my talented and beautiful cousin Rachel, who is only 15.  I'll blog about her talented and beautiful self later.  I have to say the weekend on the coast was great.  Sure there were moments I wish I could forget, but for the most part it was near perfect.

We were on the coast, well Salinas anyway, to celebrate my grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary.  Yes, 60.  What's more amazing, is that both sets of my grandparents are living, and both sets are celebrating 60 years of marriage this year.  First in October, then now in November.  Have I mentioned that I am incredibly blessed?  In the last few years I have become more aware at how lucky I am, that my girls are able to love and be loved by my grandparents.  I read once, I think on a frame, that "good grandparents" become "great grandparents".  It's something that stayed with me, because in my life it's very true.

Both sets of my grandparents have been incredible role models for marriage.  I think this is because marriage is a job.  It's a career and a mission you take on when you say "I do".  My grandma Fran will tell you she's still married to my grandpa Arch because it would be "too damn" hard to start over with anyone else... She really said that one time.  My grandma Chila will tell you that "the man upstairs" has a plan for you, and good or bad you follow it.  I'd say both are pretty much right.

So don't let the photo above fool you.  I've had some great comments on this photo on Facebook, and I appreciate them all.  Looking at that picture I'd say, yes, that's a beautiful perfect family.  However, it's my family, and I know the truth.  We are so far from perfect.  Let's go behind the scenes...

John and I fought that morning.  I was nagging him to get ready.  He wanted to watch football... Blah, blah blah.  The truth is we fight.  A lot.  If I said otherwise it would be a big fat lie.  I don't hide the fact that we fight.  We have been fighting since we met, as in, we were having an argument with each other before we knew each other's names.  We have fought in public, like in bars and such, and we fight at home, while the kids are asleep, or even sometimes awake.  It's not perfect.  It never has been, and it's never going to be.  It's what works for us.  If we didn't fight ever, we'd be so bored we'd probably get divorced.

Those happy kids up there.  Yeah, they were upset and crying prior to this shoot.  Mac didn't want to take any pictures.  I started referring to her as "the diva".  Caitlin kept playing in the dirt and basically stopped listening to the words "no" and "stay out of the dirt" and "watch the cream tights!!".  Earlier in the day Caitlin had a meltdown about an Icee, and Mackenzie did not take a great nap.  Yet, by looking at the picture they look like well behaved angels.  Not even close.  Most days it takes Starbucks and M&Ms to get smiles of this caliber.

I love and adore my perfectly imperfect family.  I would have never imagined that this life of mess and sometimes distress could be my happy place.  The smiles in those pictures are real.  We, the Crutchfields, collectively adore each other.  We are laughing at each other or with each other most of the time.  The laughter and the jokes are what keep us real and grounded.  Even when John and I are at our worst, all it takes is one joke.  One offensive movie, TV show, or YouTube video.  One conversational joke about grilled cheese, and the anger is gone.  You can't stay mad at someone who makes you laugh, right?  Have you ever tried to?  It's not easy. 

We are not always smiling, we are not always crying, but we are always ourselves, because who else would we be?  This is us, we are the Crutchfields.  Perfectly imperfect. 

Happy Blogging,
Megan


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Blink, blink, blink.


It occurred to me today, as I sat in a pedicure chair that my darling baby girl is indeed no longer a baby.  She is a preschooler, a big girl if you will.  Who can and will sit quietly at a manicure station coloring and working through a Hello Kitty activty book with Hello Kitty glitter pens.  I blinked.  I seriously blinked and then she was four...

Where did my baby go?  The one who kept me up all hours of the night?  The one who relied on me for every meal?  This morning she informed me that she could get her muffin "herself".  Where did the crazy, wall climbing toddler go?  The one I couldn't take anywhere?  The one who sent me into panic attacks at Target and the grocery store?  She loves to shop at Target.  Even for clothes, even more hhopping love for shoes.  And again, I blinked.

What really got me was her joke telling skills yesterday...

Caitlin:  Mom!  Knock, knock... 

Me:  Who's there?

Caitlin:  Banana

Me:  Banana who?

Caitlin:  Knock, knock...

Me:  Who's there?

Caitlin:  Banana

Me:  Banana who?

Caitlin:  Knock, knock...

Me:  Who's there?

Caitlin:  Banana

Me:  Banana who? (getting frustrated, but then realize where this is going)

Caitlin:  Knock, knock

Me:  Who's there?

Caitlin:  Orange!

Me:  Orange WHO?

Caitlin:  Orange you glad I didn't say Banana???  Hahahahahaha!

I laughed too!  Because this wasn't a joke we learned together... This is one she picked up from Backyardagains.  This was all her.  To tell you the truth she delivered it flawlessly.

Again I blinked and my baby is now a big girl.  With jokes, and style, and a mind all her own.  I have to remind myself how precious this is, and how lucky I am to have her.  I'm trying to remind myself, they are only small for such a short time.  So I tell myself to "mind your temper, embrace this mess, live in these moments".  Because soon these moments will be just memories...

Happy Blogging,
Megan