Wore {December 2014}

I'm sure every post you are going to read about December is going to say the month just flew by. Well add this one to the pile of blog post about December 2014 flying by. It did, and I wasn't ready for it and I would have loved another thirty days before Christmas. But that's not the way it works, so instead I was looking back at all my Instagram pictures and I thought let's put together a post about what we wore the entire month. The girls killed it with their fashion, and I found new ways to shop my closet. Which, if you know anything about me, is my favorite thing to do.

Totally shopped my closet for this one. Converse kicks included. My mama bought them for me last year, but I totally forgot I owned them. Old Navy flannel from last year and a super old velour hoodie. This was me dressing up to see Mockingjay with my Mom. It was a perfect date day with her.

Nothing says Christmas like Snoopy. Caitlin picked out this sweatshirt and a matching one for her sister for "Buddy Pictures" at her school. How on earth could I refuse a Christmas Snoopy sweatshirt?

This was us on our way to the Nutcracker. Sweater dresses for the girls, old red dress for me that was a steal from Ann Taylor Loft like seven years ago. What can I say, it pays to horde your dress up clothes when you really have no where to wear them.

Caitlin has developed a style of her own, and this outfit for her school Christmas program was no exception. Taffeta and velvet dress from Kohls, kitten heeled ivory satin sling backs on her feet, Sequin head band in her hair. She comes up with these outfits all on her own, and I'm so proud.

 You know on those morning when you have to get up before the sun, and you have no idea what to wear and so you just throw on whatever and hope for the best? This was one of those days. Black on black, add boots and scarf and one almost worn out cardi. Oh and hair piled on top of your head is a must.

 She just had to wear her fur vest. It was a must.

 Caitlin found this sweater dress in the back of my closet, it was hers from preschool, it was a little short but we added leggings and boots. She also had on a Christmas scarf she bought with her own dollars at Kohls. She's all ready for Mackenzie's school program.

For a kid that claims she doesn't like ruffles, she sure wore a whole bunch to her Christmas program. I found this outfit at Kohl's too, and it was like half off. Score one for mom. The pig tails were her idea.

Fancy lace shirt from American Eagle and old stand by Old Navy scarf. Red polkas are perfect for the holiday season. Don't you think?

This fancy heart sweatshirt is so soft and comfy I wish I could wear it every day. My sister in law bought it for me last year, and God Bless her she thinks I'm an extra small. I, however, am not. Solution: I just cut up the sides so that it wouldn't hug my sides so much. My husband is threatening to take away the scissors, but I will now wear the sweatshirt more than I did last year...

Confession: I've been blogging since 2011 and I still hadn't mastered the bloggy bun. Then one late night on Pinterest I saw a hack on how to get your hair on your head and make it look like you used one of those sock things. And that tutorial changed my life, because this bun is now my go to. Thanks Pinterest.

I let her dress herself for a trip to Starbucks and Target after school. She has more fashion sense in her pinkie finger than I have ever had. I'm thinking of letting her dress me.

Mackenzie got a Justice sweatsuit for Christmas. Justice. I'm not quite ready for this. So add in the Uggs and I swear she looks thirteen. She will be five in April.

Ugly Sweater Party on Christmas Eve and we brought our A game. I let the girls make their own with little to no help from mom. They had a blast making them uglier and uglier. I made my ugly sweater vest out of an old pull over sweater vest hanging in my closet from before Caitlin was born. I added some fabric cut outs and fuzzy pom pom balls and hello ugly vest. I'm saving it for next year, hoping to wear it again.

 The Hubbs got into the act too. This ballin so hard shirt was amazing and only $7.99.

Me and this girl got jackets for Christmas and took to Instagram to show off. Don't hate our jacket game.

 Olaf slippers for the win. Ask us how much Frozen swag we got for Christmas this year?

 Red Christmas sweater for Christmas celebration number one. We usually hit four or five over the season. I love this sweater as I got it for less than five bucks at an after Christmas sale at Aeropostale four years ago. The only thing that confuses me is that people usually ask me, "Why are you wearing an ugly sweater". Uh, what are you talking about?

Me in my Pier One swag... Well this was me on a closing shift the Saturday before Christmas. After a full day of dance recitals, a nap, dinner and making twelve cupcakes for the next day. I'm no hero, I just wanted to document that I made it, to the end of the day, red scarf and all.

 Mouth full of cupcake, silly Christmas headband, and a Snoopy sweater. The full definition of Christmas.

 Nothing says Christmas like Elf on the Shelf pajamas. Am I right?

The guys the Hubbs works with wanted to go out for a holiday dinner. At a semi fancy restaurant. I was three days into PMS and didn't have a single pair of pants that didn't pinch. So I went with a black dress. Then I added some green tights I bought a few Christmases ago that I chickened out wearing, then added that same red polka scar, and finally my stand by ivory cardi. The best part? I found those boots in the top of my closet... Totally forgotten about. Yeah, new fancy boots with a heel. Add make up and hair and oh, look who cleans up well? I'm totally going to wear this again next year. And for all the Christmases to follow.

December really did fly by, full of outfits and fashion and evidence that I wear that scarf way too much in December. Not that you could tell.

Wore {November 2014}

Because November ended almost two weeks ago... Because this was my last chance to show off some outfits I slapped together. Because I just love the Outfit of the Day Selfie.

Let's talk about finding an old maternity sweater you bought when you weren't even pregnant, in the back of your closet on the first weekend of November. I wore this sweater almost three years ago for family pictures. And unless I tell people, they have no idea that it's maternity.

Something about this scarf said Fall is upon us. And it was the first truly cold day in Fresno, so I wore the outfit on the left to work, came home and put on jeans for my Walmart trip, as evidenced on the right. Incidently I wore the same outfit three weeks later for Thanksgiving. If I had thought it through, I would have worn that scarf, every day of November.

I really, really wanted to wear this plaid shirt to work. Alone, without the cardi, it looked too casual. So, I added the cardi, but the sleeves of the shirt bunched. So... I cut the sleeves off of the shirt so I could layer it. I've done this with like ninety percent of my collared or flannel shirts. I leave the seam of the sleeve so it doesn't fray, and I wear them more often because I can layer them. The Hubbs thinks it ridiculous, but he just doesn't understand that bunchy sleeves are not my jam.

Fall in Fresno is hit or miss, so this was an actual dipction of my day. Scarf, sweater, jeggings, and boots in the morning. Toms, button down, and jeans in the afternoon. I haven't cut the sleeves off this pink button down yet... But I'm pretty sure it's going to happen.

This is a gratitutios selfie because I was super proud of my new camo shirt, that I cut the sleeves off. I know, I have a problem, someone should take my scissors away. But this shirt was so fun to wear, and adding the hoops and the necklace dressed it up in an unexpected way. The shirt was on clearance at Target, for like eleven bucks.

I do this thing on Instagram where I will say "Pinned it. Wore it". It's kind of bragging, but it's also very honest as I will go thorough my Pinterest boards for outfit inspiration the night before I work. I wore a brown cardi because I couldn't find my ivory one. I think I would have liked this outfit better with the Ivory.

I pulled all the stops for Black Friday. My printed Christmas scarf, with another maternity sweater, and jeggings. For the record, this maternity scarf was actually purchased for maternity purposes. I added the long sleeved shirt, because it was actually chilly the day after Thanksgiving. Also to continue to be transparent on this blog, I bought Christmas Tree earrings at work to complete the outfit. Yeah, I was totally that person on Black Friday.

Another Pinned it, Wore it attempt. On this night I was super sick, super tired, and super over the fact that I had to work until ten at night. Thanks Pinterest for making it easy.

To end November, the family and I got all fancy and went to the Nutcracker. I wasn't super excited about my booties, but I didn't have any other shoes that I could wear for longer than ten minutes. The dress is super old, and is not only my "asshole in a dress" dress, but a dress I blogged about before. Short story: It's from Ann Taylor Loft, originally eighty eight dollars, I paid nineteen ninety nine. I wear it every possible chance I get. Even if that ends with me being an asshole in a dress.

Once upon a time there was a girl named Megan, who had a subscription to InStyle, who idolized Carrie Bradshaw, who once bought a pair of suede, stacked heeled pumps and then had to create an outfit around them. Megan always wore make-up, always remembered to curl her eyelashes, and always wore lipstick. Then she had kids, forgot about things like mascara, traded InStyle for Parents Magazine, and packed all the pretty shoes away. Today you will find her mostly in jeans older than her youngest daughter, or on the days she works, posting Outfits of The Day on Instagram.

Practicing

I saw this quote the other night. There I was just scrolling along with Pinterest, when BAM. This hits me like a ton of bricks. The universe knew that I needed this very quote right then and there. Now I just had to listen.

For me, I was right in the middle of wrestling with taking on more. I was interviewing for a promotion at work, and I was still standing on a fence. On the one hand, working mom was starting to feel alright. Once I got over all that I was missing, and focused on all that was happening. So we didn't do all the things we normally would have over the summer. But we still had fun. We still had little adventures. Life was happening and I had to finally focus and enjoy it. When I did, it wasn't as hard as I was making it out to be. Isn't that always the way?

Life has give me lots of practice over the years. I spent years practicing what it was like to be unpopular in high school. What it was like to be "different". That was a hard life to practice, but it prepared me for college. Because in college I practiced being myself, which helped me find myself. Not a bad gig at the time. I spent a lot of time practicing what it was like to be in love. And how to love, and how to chase a man who didn't know he was in love with you. That was some hard life practice too, but soon it all worked out.

Then the hardest life practice was being a new mom. Those were some of the hardest practice sessions. Harder than cursive in the second grade. Harder than cutting my hair in a pixie in high school, while all the kids laughed at my choice. Harder than walking away from the Hubbs when we were in college, because he was being unreasonable. None of my previous practice prepared me for motherhood. Being a new mom pulled out all the stops. Making sure that practice was going to make almost perfect. Insuring that I would continue the practice as if I were going to be an apprentice of motherhood for the rest of my life. That's the thing with motherhood, you can't ever be out of practice, because the practice never ends.

Lately, life has been requiring me to practice being a working mom. It started out as part time, but soon morphed into full time. I resisted it for sure, and when it came to making a decision on what I should do, I was at a loss. Could I really handle being a full time working mom?  It's not that I didn't have an awesome support system in place to allow me to return to work full time. My village is strong and dependable and thank the Lord above, flexible too. But still, was this what I wanted? Did I want to surrender more time, more me, and lose the "stay at home mommy" me?

Then I thought about my practice here, in this place. I have spent the better part of three years practicing here. As a blogger, and as a writer. Every time I sit down and type my heart out, I'm practicing. Practicing to get better, to be better, to perfect my craft. When I thought about becoming a full time working mom, I wasn't ready to give up this practice either. The practice of being a writer and a blogger. Add to that the practice of being an at home mom, and there are a lot of practices I'm just not ready to leave.

But why do I have to? I don't have to give up one practice for another. I can make time to practice both. Because life is giving me exactly what I need practice in. I need to practice balance, I need to practice organization, I need to practice time management, I need to practice doing and juggling all the things. The flip side is that I have to practice admitting that I can't do and juggle all the things. I realize I will need to practice forgiveness, so that I can forgive myself of the guilt that I know will pop up. Because I know the guilt will creep in, whether it's mom guilt, or writers guilt or wife guilt. I will need practice in this new role as I go forward and tackle the holiday season in retail, all while having two girls who will have Christmas programs and dance recitals, and a family that will celebrate Christmas at least five times at five different homes. Something tells me that this is only the beginning of practice as a working mom.

As you know, I took that promotion.
And the practice continues.

This fits too

Last week I got promoted.

I know what you're thinking. How on earth did this woman get promoted when she has been fighting the change from stay at home mom to working mom? What on earth possessed her to take on more than she could already handle? Is this woman insane?

The short answer is yes. Yes. I'm all kinds of insane. The long answer is something about this working mom life fits. And that is really strange to admit. Because I have been fighting this journey for awhile now. I've been struggling to adapt to being a part time working mom. Struggling to keep up and maintain the life of a stay at home mom and the life of a working mom. Sort of failing at both along the way. For the last two weeks I have been on the fence. Should I surrender entirely to what feels a little right? Or should I just stay and limp along with the struggle?

I surrendered. Last week I accepted the position as Assistant Store Manager. And the entire week prior I pondered, and interviewed, and prayed about it. I was so scared and nervous. Then, as I said the word, Yes, something about that fit. And I freaked out a little.

Tuesday I traveled to the coast for a work meeting with my store manager. For the first time in almost ten years, I had to travel for work. For a real meeting of Mangers and Store Managers. I had to collect receipts for an expense report. I was going to stay in a hotel, and have dinner with adults. For the first time in almost ten years, I was an "executive", in the field I got my degree in. For the first time in years, I was not just some one's mother, I was Megan, Assistant Store Manager. To my surprise, it fit.

Wednesday, at the Holiday Meeting I was recognized for my hard work so far. I was named Sales Lead of the Quarter in my region. It's a pretty big deal, especially for someone who joined the company in January. It was also an amazing feeling, because most days I'm pretty sure I'm doing it wrong. Not just the job but everything. So to win an award, get some recognition, and then to ice the cake with a promotion, you could say I was feeling pretty good.

And that good feeling lasted the entire ride home, even when I walked into the house and kissed my already sleeping babies. I talked to the Hubbs about the meeting and the award and the promotion that we weren't even sure I should take. We talked about how crazy the next few months are going to be. We talked about working weekends and how to get childcare covered. We talked about the kids and the house and the dishes and the laundry that is still in the chair in the corner of my living room as I type. And even though I had put in an almost twelve hour day including drive time, it fit. It seemed right.

Thursday morning was a different story. I woke up with my heart in two places. I went immediately into mom mode. Tired and exhausted, I yelled a little. Then felt guilty since I hadn't been home in two days. We had to buy water and ice for the Jog-A-Thon that I forgot about. Mackenzie needed a snack for school. Are we really out of Capri Suns? The usual, but this time it felt different. That high I had carried home with me was just about gone. All I could think was, "You are an asshole if you thought anything about this is going to be easy".

I got the kids to school and called my best friend. She always knows what to say. So I unloaded on her. I told her that the day before was amazing. That at one point during my meeting I realized that I was right where I had wanted to be in my former life. That life I had before kids, the one where I was proud of my degree, and my work experience. The life where I lead a team and worked really hard and was proud of what I did. I told her that it all seemed so clear to me on Wednesday. But now, on Thursday it was all so muddled again. Because stay at home mommy fits too. Because I still want to be a writer. Because I still want to be a blogger. And that I don't think I can do all of the things. How am I going to do all of the things?

To which she said, "It must really suck to be in a place in your life where you have everything you have ever wanted".

Oh. Ouch. Wow. Huh.

Sometimes all you need is a little tough love, even if it's in a sarcastic, not at all mean spirited kind of way. Between voice cracks and giggles I agreed. Somehow this is all part of the plan. A plan I had completely forgotten about. Before I had kids, I was pretty convinced that I would be a working mother. I had a working mother, she had a working mother. Working mother was in my genes. Then I had a baby and all hell broke loose. I could barely mother, let alone work a job outside of the home. That idea of doing both dried up faster than my breast milk. It took almost a year for me to say, "Ok, I'm a mother. A stay at home, all in, committed, mother". And some days I got it right and some days I got it terribly wrong. I had convinced myself via part time seasonal jobs that I was only really good at one thing, Stay at Home Mother. Then I started a blog, and I found that maybe I was good at two things, Stay at Home Mom and blogger, then writer, and then, suddenly I found myself as a working mom too. And each time I morphed into something else, or added on another title, I resisted until I just submitted. But not in a bad way, in a way that I just walked over the line I had been towing for awhile.

You know that part in Sweet Home Alabama when Melanie tells Jake that she loves her life in New York, but when she comes home, Alabama fits too? I feel exactly that right now. I feel like I can be an Assistant Store Manager and a mother. I feel like I can want to be successful at work and successful at home at the same time. I can want this blog and to be a writer, just as much as I want to work and be a mom too. I feel like Working Mom finally fits, but writer, blogger and just plain Mommy fit as well. Is it possible that all the hats really fit? And is it possible to wear them all at the same time? How on earth will they fit then? 

The last week was kind of a whirlwind with traveling and finding some footing in this new "job". Not much has changed, but then in the same breath everything has changed. I'm not so afraid anymore. If I've learned anything, I've learned that we all get put on a journey for a reason. Maybe this one is to remind me of who I am, and what I can do. Maybe it's to change my heart and refocus my goals. Or maybe it's just to see how much I can take before I can crack... Whatever the reason it's going to be fine. It has to be.

Because this fits too.

Worn {outfits of the day and other reasons for selfies}

I've gotten out of the habit of sharing my outfit of the day selfies on the blog, so today is the day. Also I just wanted another reason to share some of these because the fun of wearing work clothes has lost it's excitement.

Black jeggings and flowy tanks. So comfy and so right. 

I usually just add a cardi for work.

Navy stripped tank, grey layering tank under, olive pants. 

New favorite outfit in rotation.

Bathing suit, because some summers you just have to own it. 

Kitty meow meow tank on date night. Because the Hubbs said, 

"don't wear a moo", 

which is what he calls maxi dresses. 

So I wore this with shorts in protest.

Peasant shirt from my neighbor that I purposely cut off the sleeves. 

I really should hide all the scissors.

Chambray shirt, burgundy tank, white shorts. 

I loved it on one of the hottest days of the year. 

But it's like weird karma that when you 

wear white shorts your monthly bill comes in. 

Why is that?

 Soccer mom to the extreme. I wore this to work for some floor setting fun, then I decided to just wear flip flops for the rest of the day. 

Can I just mention how rare it is to wear jeans in Fresno IN AUGUST? 

It's unheard of, except for last Monday when it was 

overcast and sprinkling and not cold, but not blazing hot either.

 My momma made me buy this dress. I'm so glad that she did. 

It's from Target clearance and if they hand more colors 

I would have bought them all. I'm kind of in love with it. 

And I wore bright pink flip flops because in my world that's fancy. 

Sad, but true...

From all of my #ootd posts you probably think I live a semi-glamorous life. 

Well let me tell you how wrong you are. 

Getting a good shot, with a good angle and a good filter is rough. 

Especially when you have little humans popping in when ever they like. 

I can't be mad though, she's pretty cute.

I'm sure this was the most interesting post you have read on my blog. My apologies. But it was pretty fun to write. I hope to be back with more interesting reading material soon.

Wore: Whatever it takes

As I type, my darling daughter is telling me how beautiful I am in my pictures. And how beautiful I am every single day. Even when I'm in my pajamas. It's probably the sweetest thing I could hear right now, because I've been feeling a little fluffy. Sure, I wrote a post all about my selfies and liking the person staring at me in the mirror, but we all have our days, including me. And lately those days have turned into the better part of a month because if I'm being totally honest, I'm fluffier than I've been in months. I sent Jillian packing last November. I ate my way through the holidays, and in the future I need to discuss the fact that I have emotionally ate my way through my Against All Grain cookbook. Just because it's grain free, doesn't mean it's Whole 30. Funny thing is, I keep posting pictures, holding myself accountable for choices and beating myself up when I think I look fluffier than usual. I can hide my flaws like a boss, and even when I can't, I slap a smile on my face and try. Swing tanks, slouchy button ups, and maxi dresses can hide a multitude of flaws. Even so, I'm trying to do whatever it takes to wear everything with confidence.

This is me on date day.
Jeans, lace tank, and a cardi.
We had a great time in case you are wondering.

This is me, post work on my way to Girl Scouts.
This maxi was a little tighter than it was last year.
That was kind of a downer, on the plus side, no one could tell.

In this picture I'm going to work in pants that are pre Caitlin.
That's seems like a victory, but a year ago, I was smaller than my pre Caitlin days.
Still, after nine years, pants that still fit my ass are kind of cool.

Let's talk about swing tanks and how they hide my middle.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm an apple shape.
That means no matter how many Jillian ab busters I do I'll always need a swing tank.

Swing tank number two.
I'll admit this one makes me took a little fluffy.
But from the side they didn't look all that bad.
I'm so glad the Hubbs suggested I buy this one.
I really wanted the mint and navy, but he said I never wore these colors,
which are more grey and coral.
Thanks Hubbs for making me step out of my mint fixation.

This is a button down tunic from Old Navy.
It's a little long, but I seriously can't get enough.
If you didn't notice I'm also wearing it with the pre Caitlin pants.
I threw on a cardi and wore it to work.
It was so comfortable.

My olive trousers are getting a work out thanks to Pinterest.
I've been stumped for years with these pants.
Now, I just search olive pants and hello!
Side note: that stripped top is older than Mac!

Chambray shirt take one.
With my black jeggings rolled up and Toms.
This is the shirt that I cut the sleeves off.
Still not sorry about that.

I've had this Loft top since Caitlin was a baby.
I really love it and it's soft as pajamas.
I realize that mustard is usually reserved for fall, 
but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.
Translation: shop my closet!

I'm kind of in love with all of these colors.
Dark jeans, navy striped tank, layered with a maroon tank, mustard cardi.
My hair is dirty, I'm not wearing make up and we were an hour late to a birthday party.
A party that was being held directly next door.
Only I can do something that ridiculous.
Second side note: When I tried on this tank top, Caitlin said she liked it because it was 
"boaty, you know shippy". 
I said do you mean "nautical" and she said "yeah, nautical". 
Important lessons when you are six going on seven, am I right?

Chambray take two:
My new favorite shirt, from Old Navy, bought three weeks ago.
Run, people, grab this shirt.
It's cotton, it's roomy, and it looks good dressy or casual.
Also I can't get enough of this look as a whole.
Can I just make this my work uniform?
And my high pony knocked me out, I mean who doesn't love to whip a high pony?


So whatever it takes friends. Rock those swing tanks, Bermuda shorts if you hate your thighs, three quarter length sleeves if your arms bug you. Rock them. Smile, throw on the outfit that makes you feel your best and snap a picture. Find your way back to you by doing whatever it takes.