"Balentimes Day"

That’s what Caitlin calls it.  Valentine’s Day.  A day she is super excited about since its primary color is pink.  Why wouldn’t it be the favorite holiday of every girl, right?

I have a very odd relationship with Valentine’s Day.  On one hand, I love it.  The colors, the hearts, the cute teddy bears dressed in hearts.  I love the idea of Valentine’s Day.  Telling someone you have a crush on them, or that you love them, or asking them to marry you… It’s so romantic.

On the other hand I hate it.  It’s like New Year’s Eve.  It’s always a dream that never ends the way you planned.  All the hype and never the delivery.  I can’t tell you how many of my V-days were spent hoping, wishing, praying, a guy would call, notice me, kiss me… They never played out that way.  Some of my best Valentine’s Day memories were made possible by friends. 

Now my best V-day memories include my little family.  Since I’ve been married, my hubby and I have spent most V-days at home.  Making dinner, watching movies, relaxing.  Mostly I wanted to avoid the crowds.  Recently my best V-day memories are with my babies.  Last year we took Caitlin to the zoo.  It was so much fun to see her excited about the animals.  It was a great day of being together as a family, no huge expectations, and no fussy candle light, no stuffy restaurants.  Just us.  We ate at the snack bar; the pink pop corn was the high light of the day.

This weekend before V-day has been awesome.  A blessing in its own right.  The weather Saturday was beautiful.  We took the kiddos to River Park.  The play yard by the movie theatre was a huge hit.  We had pizza and then went to Yogurtland.  It’s a build your own froyo sundae place.  It was so memorable in fact that Caitlin asked for it by name today.  We also walked around and window shopped.  It was an altogether awesome day….

Here is the real reason it was great.  It has completely restored my faith in this family thing I’m doing.  We’ve all had rough days, but this past year has been hard.  Life is never easy, but for some reason, along the way, I lost some faith.  As a mom, as a wife.  I came to a point where I was wondering, am I doing this right?  Is it supposed to be this hard?  Am I supposed to feel this guilty?

V-day is about love; restoring it, finding it, enjoying it.  Somewhere along the way I think I forgot how to be a wife… I have been so wrapped up in trying to be a mom.  I forget that John was here first.  When Mackenzie was born, I feel like Caitlin lost a part of her Mommy.  I forgot that John lost another piece of his wife.  It’s easy to hurt someone’s feelings and not even know it.  Later you know you did, but how many times can you apologize before the damage is done? 

Sure, ours is a passionate and sometimes tempestuous relationship.  John and I are not built for peace.  We like to argue and debate.  Yes, we fight.  I admit it freely.  We fight.  I know married couples that say “We never fight”, to that I say, well do you live?  I joke, but the background on my relationship with my husband is that we met by arguing.  We have never stopped.  It’s what makes us love each other.  It’s the debate.

Saturday and today was just what my heart ordered.  Yes, we are functioning as a family.  Yes, we still enjoy working as a team.  Yes, his jokes are still funny.  Yes, I can still make him laugh too.

This V-day weekend is going to go down as one of the best.  It had all of the things that Valentine’s Day should: the ones you love; food; fun; Starbucks… I’d say it was pretty perfect…

Although one of my favorite Valentine’s Day on record happened years ago and involved 4 single girls with nothing to lose…

However it was nothing compared to last year’s.  John brought home my brand new iPhone last February 12th as an early V-day gift. 

So how does he top the best gift ever???  A priceless weekend.  Just the 4 of us.

Happy Blogging,

1 comment:

  1. That surely sounds like the bestest Valentines Day ever! Even a memory of that so memorable valentines day many years ago can't match the category that this one falls into. That long ago un-valentines day was really about showing off what the boys were missing out on.. these valentines days are about the love that brought us our families. I love you Crutchfields!