To say Spring Break was a breath of much needed fresh air is a serious understatement. After weeks of work and stress and Girl Scout cookie sales, finally we got a break.
Monday morning of Spring Break was awesome. I got up and was free to get ready for work. I didn't have to worry about lunches or snacks or thermoses. No one cried. No one yelled. There were no arguments about hair or shoes or waffles that were burned in the toaster. It was fantastic. It was as if a weight had been lifted off of me.
And that feeling set the tone and the attitude for Spring Break. We were free to get Starbucks before Mom had to go to work. We were free to eat dinner late, not worry about home work, or skip a bath just because. We read chapter books for fun, with no pressure of time or tests. We lounged and watched reruns of Glee and Clarence and Modern Family. And best of all we could breathe.
The last four days of spring break were jam packed. I was lucky that I had those days off. The pressure was on with two Easter parties, then a Saturday packed with four birthday parties. But still, I kept breathing. I tried to keep it light, and tried to let go of all that wasn't urgent. Because is anything really life threatening? Will wearing neon shorts with old stained t shirts really end the world? No, they won't. Will eating cookies for breakfast and frozen yogurt for dinner ruin their chances of a college education? I hope not. But will mom yelling and being stressed all the time take the joy out of the day and all the days she shows her crazy? Yes.
Spring break gave me the fresh air that I needed. The time I needed to focus on what was important, my time, my patience, my love for my girls. It also gave me a chance to try life from the other side, the less controlling side. With a little fresh air I could breathe and really look at what had been holding me back. My fears, my feelings of inadequacy, my desire to control all that is uncontrollable. I needed a little breathing room to see that letting some of that shit go really makes all the difference.
Not every morning is going to be carefree and weightless. We start school today. But I can be a little more carefree and weightless. Maybe we won't have cookies for breakfast and Starbucks stops, but I can and I will breath a little easier. I can make the effort to yell less, look the other way when one kid wears dirty sweats and the other wears shorts in the rain. I can focus on patience, and I can refocus my time. And I can let go of all that isn't life threatening. Because believe me stained t shirts and cookies for breakfast are not the end of the world. If they were, I wouldn't be writing this post.
Isn't it amazing what a little fresh air can do?