Three Things Thursday {What Stops Me}

New year. New me. New you. New goals. One major goal this year is to engage this wonderful blogging community better. What better way than to begin a new link up with some blog friends! Together, the three of us came up with Three Things Thursday. Just three things to talk or write about. Five seemed like too many and "one thing" was like we weren't even trying! So any three things that are on your mind. Any three pictures from Instagram. Three complaints about your day/week. Three of your favorite treats. Seriously. Any three things! So write it. Publish it. Yell it from the mountain tops! 
Just be sure you come back and link it up here!

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Use the #threethingsthursday, and let's start talking!

This month on BlogHer, the Writing Lab prompts all have to do with Passion. Makes sense since February is known as the most romantic month. I love writing prompts because sometimes I need a little inspiration when I find myself at the keyboard. I know myself better than to think I could write everyday, but today's prompt really struck a chord. Today's prompt is as follows:

If your work is not your passion, what stops you from pursuing a different field?

You see my work is retail. I've been a retail warrior since I graduated from Fresno State. For years it really was my passion. Then I became a mom and all my "passions" changed. Especially my creative passions. After becoming a mom I discovered I loved to write. Back then it was about motherhood. Today I love to write about everything. It's very rare for me to go a full day without writing at least one good sentence, sometimes if only in my head. This has been happening and developing for over five years. Yes this blog is five years old. During every one of those years I've been talking about writing a book. Every year I say, "This is the year", and every year passes with zero books to show. So what is holding me back? Today I've picked the three things that stick out most, when I really ask myself.

What's holding me back from pursuing this passion? What stops me from just doing it?

I'm afraid. Of rejection. Of failure. Of criticism. I'm afraid to start and never finish. I'm afraid that I'm not really a writer. Fear grips me every time. Fear talks me out of taking the plunge and writing more than a few thousand words at a time.

I put off writing like my life depends on it. I'll get really motivated and organized and set up a writing schedule for myself and BOOM. I find 1001 things to do. I'll do the dishes. I'll do the laundry. In a moment of supreme procrastination I even folded laundry so I'd have an excuse to skip writing. It's awful admitting that, but it's true. My mother likes to say I do better under pressure, but procrastination and fear are best buddies. Most times I turn to procrastination, when in reality, I'm just plain scared.

I still have a hard time saying I'm a writer. Writers get published. Writers win awards. Writers are beloved and iconic. Writers see their work on pages and on shelves. In my mind these are things that are required of Writers. I'm not any of those things, so am I a writer? A good friend asked me once, "Do you put sentences together that people like to read?". Yes I do was my reply. "Then you're a writer", she deadpanned. Still everyday I talk myself out of writing anything major because I'm convinced there is someone who could do it better.

Three big things that keep me from pursuing my passion. Three big things that all have one thing in common...

They are things I can change.

I can be brave and just go for it. Jump off that cliff and into the world of writing. Lose myself in my words and finally send them off to be judged and criticised. I can open myself up and accept rejection when it comes. I can scrap that story and write another, or rewrite until my fingers bleed. I can do those things, I know I can. I just have to kick fear out of the house.

I can make more time for writing. Today in fact I carried a notebook all day and did some of my best writing in weeks while waiting at school pick up. I don't have to sit at a keyboard to write, it's not a requirement. I have even emailed myself intros and story ideas. Yes there will be laundry and dishes and little people who need a bedtime story, but I have to stop putting off what is calling my name. Write it. Just write it and stop procrastinating.

I can tell myself that I'm a writer. I'm going to hit publish and some of you are going to read it. It may not be millions or even hundreds, but it's published and someone somewhere will read it. I can repeat it, over and over so I will believe it. I'm a writer, because its a passion that keeps me up at night, that makes me long for waterproof ink in the shower, and has me finding inspiration in the unlikeliest of places. I'm a writer, damn it,  because I have a story to tell, ahem, stories (plural) to tell. And someone, somewhere will read them. Even if those someones are just my mom and a couple of friends.

I have a passion, it's writing. There are things that hold me back, but they can be changed.

I can change them.

What's your passion? Are you doing it, and if not, what stops you? You can change them, you know.

Don't forget! It's #threethingsthursday

1 comment:

  1. I get the whole writer thing. It's like we want to pride ourselves on what we do but maybe sometimes the whole label thing feels too much. Until someone puts it down, right? :D I love your space and your heart and YOU. Thank you for sharing it with the world. You are amazing.