January can be the best month or the worst month depending on your perspective. In January everything feels new. The new year, new goals, new resolutions. It seems everyone is starting a new diet, a new exercise program, or at the least a new book. And I love that about January. I love that it's three hundred and sixty-five empty pages to fill. I love that the story for twenty fifteen has yet to be written. It's what makes January the best month.
Then again, those same things can push me over the edge of shame and embarrassment as I continue to eat Paleo legal chocolate and sip on Starbuck's Iced Teas. I've been sitting on the side lines this January, watching from my Instagram feeds as people work out at the gym, run more miles that I can count, and begin New Year juice fasts. I've been sitting on the side lines as bloggy friends of mine have picked their "one little word"s, as they set their mantra for twenty fifteen, as they have posted and written and shared all their photos from New Year's Eve. And I've been sitting here wondering why I don't feel that same shame and embarrassment creep up. Why don't I have those same self loathing feelings I usually have about this time of the New Year, when I feel that everyone is moving on without me?
I think it's because I feel perfectly fine in waiting out the new year. Sure I'm a little peeved about the extra pounds that have found their way around my middle since Christmas. I could use a work out routine. I could use a little more vegetables in my diet. I could, but right now I'm won't. Because right now I'm soaking up all the newness of twenty fifteen. I feel no shame this January. I feel no ill will toward January this time around. Could it be I'm maturing? Perhaps. Or maybe I'm just grateful for the fresh start. The fresh start that I haven't started yet. Still I'm okay with that.
Today, I wrote a little. That is a daily resolution for me. I also wore zero make up, dirty hair, and Toms with holes in the toes with red nail polish poking through. Also a daily resolution, be comfortable. Tomorrow I will wake up early to get ready for work, and get the kids ready for school, and I will do my best to mind my temper, also a daily resolution. Because I'm starting January slow, I'm giving myself some breathing room, I'm going to set small goals. I'm going to write things on my to do list that I'd do anyway just for the satisfaction of checking it off. Because right now everything is new, everything feels right, and for the first time in a very long time, I have some perspective. I have some hindsight. I have some optimism.
I have three hundred and sixty five (give or take seven as of today) to write the story that is twenty fifteen.
And I can't wait to seize these days. January can have that effect on you.