Intentional Living: February is the new January

I'm writing this on what feels like the 93rd day of January. It's actually the 30th, but it really does feel like the 93rd. I'm not the only one who feels this way according to all the memes I've seen on social media. It only took me the first week of January to realize that there was no way I was going to motivate or tackle any "resolutions" in January. The month was already off to a less than stellar start, but it also felt like it had been January for a month. It was probably the 8th. 

Ringing in the new year often mean ringing in bigger expectations, loftier goals, and big life changes. The "last 90 days" and the "first 90 days" are real things that trend on Instagram and Twitter. Endless lists gift us with the knowledge on how to be better, live better, and feel better. All in, what feels like, the longest month of the year.

I don't know about other moms, but my kids didn't even go back to school until the second week of the month. We all know that those weeks of winter break don't count. There is no meal schedule or bedtime schedule. Sleeping in is supreme. Meal planning does not exist. Why in the world would anyone start Whole 30 or Dry January when the kids are still home and chaos reigns? 

The week my kids went back to school was a blur of school and dance and some things I volunteered for when January was over a month away. Up was down, left was right and I'm pretty sure we ate chicken nuggets for dinner more than once. As I scrolled my life away before I fell asleep, I felt like a failure because I still had not started or given a thought to resolutions or goals. I was living "new year, same me", and honestly it didn't fee great. I was procrastinating, and I wasn't proud.

Then I realized something, a bit of self actualization. I need to ease into change. Sure, I'm an over-reactor, an overachiever, I'm the mom who yells; but when it comes to life changes, I'm a coward. I do not like change. I resist, like a toddler, feet stomping and flailing on the floor, or something close to it. This realization mid-month helped me realize that I would have to slowly ease into the new year. I realized I could take the month of January to plan, feel out my bad habits I wanted to change, decide on what I wanted to take on as far as goals go. My goals rarely change, but the way I face them has to if I'm ever going to be successful. Which led me to the next realization...

February is the shortest month of the year, and therefore the best month for resolutions.

I've decided that February is the new January.

Hear me out. 

February is only 28 days, usually, this year it's 29, but isn't that better than 31? A shorter month makes it that much easier to meet your goals. Whole 30 becomes Whole 29 this year. Taking a few days off your monthly gym schedule sounds nice, and makes it that much easier to meet your goal. Twenty eight seems like such a nice number, and honestly who is going to know if you use the 29th as a day to celebrate all the good and change you've made in your life this month. Leap year has never sounded so good. 

February is obviously the best month to change your life. 

I was talking to my friend yesterday and told her as much. She told me she was unmotivated and I said of course you are, it's January. All the shine and glitter of New Years Eve was swept up with New Years day, and after that there is nothing shiny about January. I'm sorry. My husband's birthday is in January and even he doesn't want to celebrate it. Well that has more to do with getting older than it being January, but details matter little here. The point is, January is only fresh for about a week, and then everyone wants it to be over. 

If I'm honest, I love the new year, it's freshness, the motivating quotes I pin or post on social media. I love the promise of the new and unknown. I love the anticipation of what's to come. Still, somewhere along the way, I find myself unmotivated and sluggish. I don't think I'm alone in this.

Years ago I gave up making resolutions. They just made me feel bad. A resolution means a firm decision, and those make me anxious. Not meeting a resolution feels like failing. Goals feel more my speed. Goal means "the object of ambition", or a "desired result". Goals can happen and evolve all year. Goals feel like they can change. I found this image on Pinterest and it made total and complete sense to me. They seem attainable and allow for growth. 

Quote Hub on Pinterest

Break a Bad Habit:

My bad habit is a constant struggle for me. I don't wash my make up off before bed. I already know what you're thinking. Every glam/fashion/women's magazine will tell you that not washing your make up off before bed will age your skin. That is why every year it's a goal of mine, and more so this year now that I'm over 40. You guys, I'm over 40!

Learn a New Skill:

This is to be determined. Yoga sounds great. Learning to make macrons sounds even better. If I'm honest it may be as simple as creating a budget and sticking to it. Did you hear that thump? That was my husband passing out in the background.

Do a Good Deed:

Random acts of kindness are my jam. Good deeds come in all shapes and sizes. I'm looking forward to this one, and am open to suggestions.

Visit a New Place:

I'm not sure how this one is going to happen. Traveling that isn't centered around school or dance is rarely on my agenda. Hopefully on one of those trips we will be able to make it to a place unknown that I've never happened upon before. 

Read a Difficult Book:

I actually just read one. A book that is very well loved, but wasn't really loved by me. That seems like cheating, so I'm hoping to read another Jane Austen or Emily Bronte. I find that these are harder for me to read because of the language. Years ago, on this very blog one of my goals for the year was to read Pride and Prejudice. I did it and I wasn't only proud of myself, I was disappointed that it took me so long. I haven't decided on a book yet. I'll keep you posted.

Write and Send a Letter:

If you follow me on Instagram you may realize that I posted this goals graphic on January 1st. This goal stuck with me the most. I've always loved writing and sending letters or cards. With the hours (and I'll be honest it is hours, and I'm working on that too) I spend on social media, sending a letter made me notice how out of touch I've been with some people in my life. I love getting my birthday wishes on Facebook as much as the next girl, but getting a card in the mail makes me incredibly happy. This month I did tackle this goal, and sent three cards to three friends. They loved it and I loved it. I'm hoping to meet this particular goal every month.

Face a Fear:

I'm currently doing this now. Writing on this blog, is tackling one of my fears. I let this piece of my life lapse and get away from me. I let writing get away from me. The fear comes from not inhabiting this space for so long, and allowing myself to come back without any expectations. For years I wrote in this space for the feedback and camaraderie. I'm here now writing for me, sharing because I need it. For my mental health and stability. I've left this space blank for too long, and I'm trying to overcome my fears of basically starting this blog over from almost scratch.

Try Something New:

Yoga. Macrons. Writing Fiction to actually share. Not sure what this will be, but I'm looking forward to it. 

Take a Risk:

Risk means exposing yourself to danger or loss. Whether it's physically or emotionally, I'm not sure what kind of risk I want to take. When I figure it out I'll let you know.

All these goals to say, it's okay if it's January 93rd and you haven't reached a single goal or tackled a single resolution. If your goals or challenges look different than your friends on social media, that's okay too. Now you have the secret, the key to a successful 2020, maybe even the key to life. 

Start on February 1st. 

February is the new January. Your welcome.

We don't have time to pee... {December 2016}

I've done nothing but sleep and read since the day after Christmas. That's not the whole truth, but it's 95% of it. December was a blur, and not in the cliche way, like it was so magical and jammed packed with fun it just flew by. No, it was a blur because it was jam packed with obligation and work and school and homework and unnecessary class party bullshit.

Oh. Wow, that took a turn. Sorry. Rant over.

Seriously, though. Can I be honest for a minute here? December was kind of a shit show. Between dance and Girl Scouts and dance recitals and school and homework and oh yeah, actual work, we were scheduled to the very minute. Every single minute of every single day contained a task, a plan, a to do list, some kind of obligation. I know what you're thinking. You do this to yourself, Meg. You say yes, you want to be the room mom and the scout leader and the mom who does all the fun holidays stuff like make sugar cookies and gingerbread from scratch. Yes. You're right. I'm guilty of wanting and not wanting to be that kind of mom, simultaneously. But if over scheduling a life was an Olympic event, I'd be a gold medalist to a Michael Phelps degree.

I didn't plan for an over scheduled holiday season. You would think since I'm a retail warrior I'd plan better since Christmas ornaments hit the sales floor on October (not even kidding). You would think that since I spent the week before Thanksgiving in Disneyland that was decorated within an inch of its life for Christmas I would have been better prepared.

I wasn't.

Fully aware of the calendar I still didn't even have a chance to make cookies with the girls until the week of the 17th. The 17th I made the dough, the 18th we cut them out and baked them, and on the 19th after school and before dance we decorated them. I'm not even joking a little that these were 110% scheduled. Within an inch of our lives.

Christmas shopping was done via Amazon and my weekly day off. It's almost impossible to shop on the weekend with kids who are old enough to know what kind of Santa shit you are trying to pull. I took an extra day off to wrap gifts. And then actually followed through and wrapped gifts because if not nine days before Christmas then when? Never, it would have never happened.

One afternoon during a Target run, in between dance (Mackenzie) and dance (Caitlin), I actually told Mackenzie, "We don't have time to pee". Bathroom breaks had not been scheduled for this Target run, and if we stopped we would be late to the next pressing appointment (dance). Don't worry, I'm not a monster, I took her to the restroom. Still I said the words, because I felt them with my entire body and soul. They were cold hard facts, I had not scheduled time to pee.

We made some good memories. I promise we did. The kind of memories that come with having a harried over scheduled slash over achieving mother. My daughters will always remember the "great boot hunt of 2016" the night before the Christmas program, staying out at the mall until 9 at night when we should have all been in bed, or at least homework for that matter. They will always remember the winter dance recital where their mom didn't realize how long it would take to do hair and make up on her two daughters plus herself. Which meant a breakfast of French fries and Dr Pepper courtesy of Jack in the Box, which they bragged about all day. My girls will never forget the last minute dash to do all the things: ugly sweater selfies, teacher gifts and making reindeer food in the 11th hour on Christmas Eve. Not even kidding when I say that we made reindeer food, put that shit out and went to bed. 

These are the moments that allow great children to become great adults. I promise you. Carefully curated Christmases are for psychopaths. Or so I continue to tell myself.

We had a fantastic Christmas. Was it sparkly and Instagram ready? Of course not. But after almost ten years of motherhood, it my brand of perfect. I wasn't ready, but I'm beginning to think I never will be. Not all the decorations made it out. The craft supplies that were supposed to be our 2016 ornaments are still sitting in the bag. The wreath I wanted to re-do has be carefully repacked into its bin. That beautiful chocolate gingerbread cake that I planned on baking in October, is still waiting to be baked. I never did see Love Actually all the way through. I never did read Jolly Postman Holiday to the kids. But none of those things matter now. Not really. We could do all of those things now, in January. In preparation for next year. Maybe the key to fitting in all the things in December is to start doing them in January. Eureka! I'm a genius. 

Now, in the most cliche way I have blinked and it's January. Actually it's January ninth, and my kids go back to school tomorrow. We are back to our regularly scheduled programming, and December is but a blur. Except for the fact that I still want to sleep all day and read all night. But I've held that belief since college. I'd like to say that December 2016 was the hardest and worst of the Decembers yet, but that would be a lie. The truth is, living on the edge, over scheduled and overwhelmed is exactly how I roll ninety nine percent of the time. That's where the naps come in. 

That my friends is how you win at December-ing. 

Goodbye December/ Goodbye 2016

It occurred to me an hour ago that I had not posted a single thing in the month of December.

I should have realized this sooner, but the truth is, I was too busy. Too overwhelmed. Too distracted by a season that should have been more focused.

My last post to this blog was November 8th, and after that it seems as though I have blinked and today is December 31st.

To say that December was hard is a complete understatement. Busy became a four letter word. I struggled the entire month to hold on tight to traditions, my knuckles turning white, and seemed to fail regularly. Christmas cookies were a three night project. I took a day off from work to wrap gifts. Class gifts were forgotten, gift cards were chosen last minute, even my regular binge of Christmas movies didn't happen before the 25th.

I spent the last 10 days before Christmas in a panic. How would it all get done? The class parties and the dance lessons, and the parties at the dance lessons. The Girl Scout party, the "Adults only" Christmas party, the family celebrations. As usual, they all fell into place, some last minute, some by the skin of our teeth. Some things we just had to let go of, because there were never enough minutes, barely enough moments.

That is why I woke up on Christmas Eve and decided to be happy. I made the conscious effort to be content. That is why I watched all five of my favorite Christmas movies between the 24th and the 26th. All in bits and pieces, I only saw my favorite scene in Love Actually (Hugh as the PM dancing, because duh); half of The Holiday while Santa worked furiously putting together a doll house. I switched back and forth between A Christmas Story and Scrooged. Home Alone on Christmas Eve afternoon while I baked cakes. It wasn't pretty or perfect, but I saw enough of them to soothe my soul. To make it feel like I was ready for Christmas.

Because I needed to be ready, for my family, for my kids, and I wasn't quite in the Christmas spirit. But the bits and pieces came together and made it feel whole enough to tear open gifts and eat candy first thing in the morning. To enjoy gifts of coloring books and colored pencils. To laugh with and at cousins I don't see regularly. To make reindeer food last minute with my girls who couldn't go to bed until the milk and cookies were out, and the reindeer food sprinkled.

We spent a rushed Christmas happily. All the traditions we didn't get to were forgotten Christmas morning. We didn't look back, we were too busy celebrating.

Truth is we are still celebrating. Our tree is still up, the lights are still on the house.

We haven't finished quite yet.

Because we made it to today, with a few bumps, but we still made it.

I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for today and all the yesterdays of 2016. Even if some of them were complete and total bullshit. Even if some of the days included loved ones getting life altering diagnosis. Even if some of those days included fights about politics with family members. Even if some of those days included mom fails and wife fails and all around adulting fails.

I'm grateful I'm here. With my health and my family. With the people I love and those that love me. Tonight I'm heavy with reflection as I say goodbye to 2016. I'm heavy with hope for 2017. Mostly I'm happy and thankful as I greet a new year. It's like opening a fresh notebook. Blank pages just waiting to be filled.

Cheers to filling them well.

Chapter One...

Resolutions and stuff

I did something to start this year that I rarely do... I went back and read my "resolutions" blog post that kicked off 2015. I was kind of scared. Do any of us really stick to our resolutions? Do any of us keep working out or eating well past January 31st? I broke into a small sweat as I began to read my "resolutions", worried that I hadn't accomplished anything I'd hoped in 2015.

Guess what? Maybe I hadn't stuck to all of my "guns", but I did, for the most part live out that major resolution, that "one little word" I was hoping would guide me last year. You can read about finding my heart of flesh here, but today I'm going to talk about living out my word for 2015. Last year I picked "resolve". I wanted to have resolve in 2015, like a quote I had found that basically stated, "Resolve to let got of everything that isn't making your life better". Can I get an Amen to that? I ended my post last year with this,

"So that next year I'll look back and know, I did everything I could to make it count, with resolve"

I did that you guys. To the best of my knowledge I lived every bit of my life with resolve. I left that job, that no matter what I did, wasn't making me happy. Then I left another job that I knew was a mistake. I cut out a lot of fat and fluff so that I could make working part time work for us. I chose joy and hope and happiness more than I chose to wallow. I swear my 2014 word should have been "wallow", because as sad as it sounds, that mostly what I did. I knew that I had to make some serious attitude adjustments in 2015, and I'm so thankful that I did.

When I sat down to think about what I really wanted out of 2016, I kept going back to the same goal. I wanted to write. It seems every year, since I started this blog, my year resolution has included writing. This year especially it seems like writing is what my heart is demanding. While I was living 2015 with resolve, I was also living 2015 away from the keyboard. It's funny but I have little regret about that. There were days that I could have sat in front of my laptop or PC and hammered out some words, but they would have been forced. You would have noticed. There were days where I wrote my heart out, but never hit publish. It was just stuff, just words and nothing more. The truth is that most days, I was just living, with little to no thought about what was happening or not happening on this blog. So days passed, nothing was posted, and at some point I became okay with that. I posted 82 lonely posts in 2015, less than I did in 2011 (100) when I first started this blog, and way less than 2013 (234) when I felt my blog was at it's peak.

So this year my one resolution and my "one little word" is going to be WRITE. Just write. Write it all out. Type it, color it, use a marker or a crayon. I just want to be stringing words along, enough to wrap them around myself like the most comfortable blanket. I want to type, to make music with the pitter patter of the keys. I want to scribble in margins, use highlighters to make corrections, I want fingers stained with ink. I want to write and hit publish. I want to write and never publish. I just want to write. Everyday if possible, even if it's just a lonely sentence about what I ate today.

via Pinterest

I saw this quote the other day that said we don't need resolutions. It said that resolutions imply that there is continuously something wrong with who we are. As if to imply that something is wrong with how we live day to day. I can see that. Why do we feel the compulsion to change ourselves every January? On the flip side, to resolve to do better, to live better, to love better, can never be a bad thing. How can any resolution to make yourself feel better be a bad thing? Maybe resolutions are crap, and maybe picking a word every year is a dumb thing bloggers do to motivate their readers, but I'm doing it anyway. I'm picking a word, and I resolve to do more of that word. Even when I'm tired. Even when I'm busy. Even on February 1st, 2016, when all my friends have forgotten about the gym, the Whole 30 recipes, and the no screen time rules. I'm going to keep writing, even if I never hit that orange publish button that haunts me.

Because even bad writing is still writing.

I have my heart of flesh {2015 recap}

Hey now friends! Welcome to the Blogging Besties’ 2015: A Year in Review Link-Up Party! 

We are ready to show 2o16 who's the boss, but before we do, we want to give 2015 a proper send-off. The highs, the lows, the smiles, the tears, the trips, the holidays, the birthdays, the anniversaries, the babies…whatever it is that made 2015 special, we want to know about it! Grab a button, visit the hosts, and link up your post about what 2015 meant to you!

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Hosts: Kristine: The Foley Fam // Megan: Absolute Mommy // Kate: The Colbert Clan // Lena: Lena B, Actually // Renee: coffee-n-ink // Kara: Chasing Zoie // Laura: Bits of Sweetness // Kassi and Kayli: Kassarie & Kayliray

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I ended twenty fourteen raw and brokenhearted. I spent the year in a terrible place, filled with negativity and resentment. I was mad about so many things. Mad because I had to return to the workforce. Mad because I wasn't home on the weekends anymore. Mad because I missed my family. Mad because I was mad. Was I being a spoiled brat? Possibly. Was I a crybaby and a whiner? Probably. I realized at the end of twenty fourteen that I had taken advantage of all the blessings of the previous years. That I had never really appreciated or valued being a Stay at Home Mom. I had the privilege of being home with my kids, and I took it all for granted.

As twenty fourteen ended, quietly and melancholy, I was in search of something to lead me into the next year. I was searching for something, a quote, a word, an idea, that would take my negativity and renew me. One night, in early January, I came across this quote on Pinterest;

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; 

I will remove from you your heart of stone 

and give you a heart of flesh".

- Ezekiel 36:26

And it was perfect. It was exactly what I needed. So I began on that night to pray for my heart of flesh. I prayed for my new spirit, and I prayed that my heart of stone would be removed. Some night I prayed tearfully. Some nights I prayed joyously. But the biggest thing is that I prayed. Consistently, for probably the first time in my life.

I went back and read two posts from the end of last year, and I'll be honest they were tough to read. They brought fresh tears and sharp memories. Still, they were a reminder of how much changed in twenty fifteen. Not just my spirit, but my life as a whole. I learned so many new things about myself. I learned so many things about my children and motherhood, more lessons on marriage and being a wife. I welcomed the lessons, and I welcomed my new spirit. Today, when I set down to write this post, I realized, I found my heart of flesh. This prayer, my sometimes daily mantra, was answered in the most surprising of ways. My life didn't change instantly. My spirit wasn't renewed overnight. But my heart, my heart of stone is gone, and my heart of flesh beats strong.

Here are some of the things that renewed my spirit.

A New Year's spent with friends and family. Caitlin looking like a teenager on New Year's Eve. Losing teeth, and Mac's zombie face. Nerd glasses. Fresno State Basketball games. Fro-Yo with Grams.

A Valentine's Day for the record books, complete with champagne and a night away from home. Selfies and Girl Scout cookies. Best Friends that moved away, but still feel like they never left. Emoji candies for cupcakes.

The Hubbs on a Merry Go Round with Mac. Pedis with my girls. Shopping at Forever 21 because it's Caitlin's favorite. Turning thirty-seven. Lunches and dinners out with my family. Mac's little face. Selfies with the Hubbs.

Mac turned five! John and I celebrated TEN years of marriage!! Spring Break and Easter parties. Fun with the Hubbs and of course more fro-yo after school. Trips to Monterey. Donuts at school.
Finding a restaurant in town that makes gluten free pancakes!

Friends that feel like family. Finding your tribe. Taking #ootd pictures and no one laughs at you. Driving my girls to Southern California solo, for the first time and surviving!

The happiest place on Earth for so many reasons. Seeing Disneyland through the eyes of my children. Riding Dumbo and It's a Small World like it was the first time. Selfies everywhere. Breakfast with Mickey and Friends. Pictures in the tea cups. The Cars ride at Night! Caitlin's adventure with Peter Pan. Celebrating 60 years of Disney with one Magical Trip!

Caitlin turned eight! Summer finally arrived so we could sleep in late. I started a new job that allowed me to be more present. Mac graduated from preschool. Caitlin's birthday party at the movies with eight friends. And my girl Jess moved back to the neighborhood.

Fourth of July fun. Date days to see Trainwrecked. More fro-yo because it was over 100 degrees. Selfies and movie dates. A days spent in Monterey, enjoying cooler temps, sweatshirts, and gluten free cinnamon rolls. Yes! GF cinnamon rolls!!

Saying goodbye to summer vacation. Starting dance again. Mac lost a tooth, but still found time to fall asleep on my chest. Finding out our class room assignments and celebrating with Starbucks! First day of school, third grade and kindergarten!

Tailgates and School Spirit days. Walking little sister to class in the morning. Running with my neighbor and achieving new personal records.
My parents wedding anniversary. Sundays spent at home. Bliss.

Changing our Halloween costumes last minute. Red Ribbon dress up days. School picture day out takes and more tailgating. The Hubbs had his class reunion and
I got dressed up and found some body confidence along the way.

Family pictures and game day selfies. My bestie at home for a visit. Movies with grandma. Donuts with dad. Shopping at Walmart for Thanksgiving and Paleo legal chocolate chip cookies. Having your bloggy bestie show up at your work! Going to grab breakfast in our jammies, because Sundays. Sundays are my favorite.

A season that always ends too quickly. Kinder Christmas programs. Shopping with my mama like the old days. Enough gingerbread reindeer for an entire fleet. Selfies with my Grandpa. Date nights to go to holiday parties. Baking cookies again and again with little hands ready to decorate. Hot cocoa stands in the driveway. Dance recitals with fancy make up.
Buddy the elf made an appearance, and Ellie the new elf came to stay.

I ended twenty fourteen with a heart of stone, and today I'm sure that there was good reason for that. At the time, I was just too heartbroken to notice. I've always believed in the power of prayer, but for others. The others that go to church every Sunday, for those with unwavering faith. Twenty fifteen taught me so many things, but the biggest was my renewed spirit, my heart of flesh. That I was capable of prayer, and worthy of the power it had. For someone who doesn't worship in a specific place, twenty fifteen now holds a powerful statement about faith and grace.

Because all I wanted was a renewed spirit. All I wanted was a heart of flesh. 

I have my heart of flesh. 

Happy New Year. 

Grab the Button!

An InLinkz Link-up

The thing about January

January can be the best month or the worst month depending on your perspective. In January everything feels new. The new year, new goals, new resolutions. It seems everyone is starting a new diet, a new exercise program, or at the least a new book. And I love that about January. I love that it's three hundred and sixty-five empty pages to fill. I love that the story for twenty fifteen has yet to be written. It's what makes January the best month.

Then again, those same things can push me over the edge of shame and embarrassment as I continue to eat Paleo legal chocolate and sip on Starbuck's Iced Teas. I've been sitting on the side lines this January, watching from my Instagram feeds as people work out at the gym, run more miles that I can count, and begin New Year juice fasts. I've been sitting on the side lines as bloggy friends of mine have picked their "one little word"s, as they set their mantra for twenty fifteen, as they have posted and written and shared all their photos from New Year's Eve. And I've been sitting here wondering why I don't feel that same shame and embarrassment creep up. Why don't I have those same self loathing feelings I usually have about this time of the New Year, when I feel that everyone is moving on without me?

I think it's because I feel perfectly fine in waiting out the new year. Sure I'm a little peeved about the extra pounds that have found their way around my middle since Christmas. I could use a work out routine. I could use a little more vegetables in my diet. I could, but right now I'm won't. Because right now I'm soaking up all the newness of twenty fifteen. I feel no shame this January. I feel no ill will toward January this time around. Could it be I'm maturing? Perhaps. Or maybe I'm just grateful for the fresh start. The fresh start that I haven't started yet. Still I'm okay with that.

Today, I wrote a little. That is a daily resolution for me. I also wore zero make up, dirty hair, and Toms with holes in the toes with red nail polish poking through. Also a daily resolution, be comfortable. Tomorrow I will wake up early to get ready for work, and get the kids ready for school, and I will do my best to mind my temper, also a daily resolution. Because I'm starting January slow, I'm giving myself some breathing room, I'm going to set small goals. I'm going to write things on my to do list that I'd do anyway just for the satisfaction of checking it off. Because right now everything is new, everything feels right, and for the first time in a very long time, I have some perspective. I have some hindsight. I have some optimism.

I have three hundred and sixty five (give or take seven as of today) to write the story that is twenty fifteen.
And I can't wait to seize these days. January can have that effect on you.