This was the first year, as a mother myself, that I woke up on Mother's Day morning without my children. For some, that may not be a big deal, but for me, it was huge. When I became a mother, I felt like the only way to prove to myself, and the masses, that I was a good mother, was to totally and 100% devote myself to my children. To their needs. To their every whim. Its true for most mothers that the needs of their children take precedence over the needs of their own. But to what degree? And for how long?
When is it ok to let out some of the rope?
I ask this question because the Hubbs has just booked a mini vacation to Vegas. I will be gone 4 days and 3 nights from my kids. Unheard of. Seriously unheard of. As soon as he said he booked out flight, I broke out in a sweat and my heart sank. Could these kids get by without me? Was that really possible?
Mac and her bubbles on Mother's Day.
I have friends that have been enjoying Adult only vacations for years. Taking back little pieces of their lives and their marriages. Trusting that trips away are good for the independence of the kids and the parents. I know it's true. I know it's healthy. We all need a little space, a little time alone. But what if they cry?
This brings me back to Mother's Day weekend. I was so worried to book my ticket to Elevate, knowing that I'd be away the morning of Mother's Day. What kind of mother does that? Leaves her kids on the one day of the year that they are reserving just for her. I was worried they would be mad. They would ask for me and miss me. None of that happened.
Caitlin concentrating on the perfect bubble.
Turns out, good mothers, possibly great mothers know when to take a step back. Possibly a step forward. To enjoy solace, a little independence, and if they are lucky a lot of reflection. To take a few days, even a few minutes away from the kids to recharge is quite possibly the greatest gift we can give ourselves. We appreciate our children more. We look forward to the little quirks that drive us crazy. We even look forward to watching Madagascar for the umpteenth time.
This past Mother's Day, I took that step. The one that told me my kids would obviously survive a few days without me. They wouldn't cry the entire time I was gone, whine for me at bedtime, even notice I was gone. I took the step that told me it was ok, finally, to do something for me. Something possibly on the selfish side.
Reunited and it felt so good!
On Mother's Day I gave myself the gift of a little freedom.