This post started as a Coffee Date to link up. Then I thought I might turn it into a Hello Monday. Then I decided to just post it as it. My life has been full. To the brim with work, home, activities, and lots and lots of room mother responsibilities that I wasn't quite prepared for. Throw in Mother's day next Sunday, with Elevate the day before, and I'm spent. Like emotionally, physically, and literally spent.
So, I'm going to go on hiatus.
Because being tasked with writing something these days seems overwhelming. Trying to schedule posts has seemed daunting. Even trying to come up with new content has thrown me for a loop. I've taken to writing in a notebook or on scraps of paper, and even then I've got nothing. I think it's because my mind is so busy. So full with the things on the "to do" list. I can't relax enough to let out my anxiety, my stress, my worries.
I hate to say I'm busy, because I despise the word. Am I really more busy than you? Am I busier than my neighbor, who has 3 kids, and a full time job? Am I busier than my other neighbor who stays home and runs a family daycare? Probably not, so I will say that my life is full. And the fullness is driving me a little mad. As in I'm losing my mind, and little pieces of me are breaking away. So I need to pull back. Just a little.
I've been putting off taking a brief hiatus. I keep thinking "this will be the week", and then things like birthdays and anniversaries pop up. Next week is Mother's Day, and I'm working on a Mother's day post, but that may be all I can crank out next week. With life being full, I'm sacrificing sleep to blog, and that's not doing me or my writing any favors.
Next week is Teacher Appreciation Week, next Saturday is Elevate, and Sunday Mother's Day. Slowly but surely I'm getting ready for the week ahead, but I'm also super stressed about it. That tells me that I need to pull back, breathe and relax. This morning I was almost paralysed with the enormity of the commitments I have made. The tasks still left to do. It's taken me all day just to get here to post this little ditty that I originally wrote last Wednesday night. As I edit I think, I haven't visited a single social media all day. That is very unlike me. But today, I'm focused on the task of rearranging, organizing, and planning for the week ahead. The blogger in me is still stressed that I have no idea what I'm wearing on Saturday. Yes, I'm obsessing about a blogging conference as if it were a prom, but it is kind of a prom for bloggers right?
Stressful Megan equals bitchy Megan, which equals a big sad face for the family. I don't want to be Mad Mommy. I want to be happy and in the moment mommy. The only way to do that is to know my limits, admit that I can't do it all (and do I really want to), and say "no", more than I say yes. That is so damn hard for me. It's times like these that my type A personality comes back like a bad habit I had forgotten.
So I'm going to take a hiatus. Perhaps until after Elevate. To really enjoy it. Let it all sink in and then write a really great post about it. Some of my dearest bloggy friends are going to be there. I can't wait to hug them in real life. Those people who I've gotten to know on Instagram. The ones who I helped welcome their babies, celebrate new jobs or shop openings, enjoy pictures of their family adventures. That will really be something for my over extended heart.
So look for a few posts next week. A recap perhaps. A Mother's Day tribute. And then I'll be posting after Elevate. I won't be gone long. Just long enough to breathe again. To relax again. To come back and put all I've got into it again.
Because I love this space. I love you guys who read and comment, and share this life with me. So thank you, very much. I won't be gone long, just long enough to get right with it all.