My Husband thinks I should wear a bikini


I posted a picture of myself on Instagram last week wearing a maternity tankini top. No I'm not pregnant, there is no big announcement around here. It's just that I have a belly. I've always had one. The battle with my belly has been a life long war I've waged with myself. These days it seems to be getting worse as Mackenzie has taken to talking to it. Telling me that there is a baby in there, and I just keep responding with "Nope, it's just food". Because no matter how hard I try, I think after two kids, three years of being super sick, and almost three years on the Paleo diet, my body has finally settled into itself. I weigh what I weighed before Mackenzie. My hips and thighs are fuller than they have ever been, and my belly, well my belly is pretty much the same one I've been carrying around since high school. 

The funny thing about this whole "body acceptance" journey is that my Husband, the Hubbs, still thinks I should be strutting around in a bikini. He asked me a few weekends ago while I was getting ready to go swim at my mom's house, why I didn't wear a regular bikini. I laughed at him. Like, stopped what I was doing at laughed. Then I lifted up my shirt and said, "Have you seen this lately?", while I grabbed a handful of my middle. "Yeah, so?", was his only reaction. So? So? So I'm not showing off this belly to anyone but you mister! 

But his reaction to my "bikini ready body" got me thinking. This man, my Hubbs, still thinks I have a rocking body. Even after two kids and two attempts at breastfeeding. He still wants me and this body, the stretch marks and flab do not sway his devotion to this body. And though his attempts to grab my boobs while I try to flip pancakes on a Sunday morning annoys me to no end, there is something very sacred about my husband still enjoying this thirty six year old flabby, saggy body. There is something very poetic about him still wanting me as if I was that twenty one year old sorority girl he met almost fifteen years ago. 

Because fifteen years ago I was so worried about the way my belly pooched. I was so worried about my arm flab and my boobs not looking like a super model's. Fifteen years ago I kept my eyes closed because I didn't want to see him looking at my imperfections. I was always so worried about my body and how it looked to him. It's only now I realize he didn't see a single imperfection. And blessedly he still doesn't, if anything I think he appreciates and enjoys it more now than ever.

Last week my best friend told me I should go for it and rock that bikini. Again I laughed. She said "Didn't you read that lady's blog post", and I said yeah I did, but I'm still wearing this. Because I'm not ready for a bikini. I may never be, and I've accepted that. I've accepted that maybe this is what I'm supposed to look like. That this is the size I'm supposed to be. I finally realize that all that really matters is that I like it, and the Hubbs likes it. I may not be comfortable in a bikini but I'm totally comfortable with that.

The Hubbs thinks I should wear a bikini... God Bless him. 




7 comments:

  1. Lol awesome post. I've been struggling recently since I'm fresh from having two babies with how much my body has changed in 3 short years. And my husband, like yours, seems unfazed by it!!! I'm the only one who has continuously hated my body since I was 15. God bless their hearts!!

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  2. love this post. i think my husband agrees. i can't trust his judgement because he'd think i look great in running shorts, old tee and messy bun. but I should just love that. love that he doesn't care at all!

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  3. You know, there is something beautiful about reaching a contented place. I don't think glorious has to equal bikini cause I mean really there are so many flattering pieces and shapes that aren't itsy bitsy. After kids I think you get a free pass to wear what truly boosts confidence. So sweet of your hubs though.Bless his heart.

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  4. I have been struggling with a belly...and this is something new to me. I have always been small all my life - after i had my first child, i lost everything immediately, I still rocked a bikini but I have had this belly thing going on since my last child which was 2 1/2 years ago. I am not used to it and I try everything to hide it cuz I feel uncomfortable. When I glance in a mirror, I feel i look pregnant and I watch what I wear because i dont want to be in that awkward situation where someone asks if you are pregnant which im not. We have been invited to a couple pool parties and i am all like i am not going in and my hubby is the same as yours, who cares, you have had two kids, not everyone is perfect. I have bought myself a one peice bathing suit and i wear a skirt and I am not in it too often haha!

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  5. I mean, I put on a bathing suit and play in the sun with no regards to how horrible I really think I look. But a bikini? I don't think I've ever looked good in a bikini. Bennett thinks I look good in anything, which I love about him. Rose colored glasses, those husbands. :)

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  6. The important thing is to always wear something that makes you feel good. I love that my husband still wants and loves my body even though I am overweight. Men really aren't all that bad. I thought about you yesterday. Jeremy and I were able to go to the movies and on the way home I said let's take a picture. I snapped one real quick and when I looked at it he was flipping the camera off.

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  7. I have to agree with your husband, if you want to wear a bikini, you totally should!! I personally don't wear bikinis, but even being covered in spots and having stretch marks and a non super flat tummy, I still rock a bikini top and usually a bikini shorts bottom. I just don't like regular bikini bottoms. No matter what though, wear what you feel comfortable and beautiful in because girl, you are gorgeous and should be able to rock whatever you feel like rocking! Love you! xoxo

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