Finding the right fit {WIW: Elevate Conf 2015}

I wore shorts to Elevate this year. If you have followed this blog for more than a year, then you must know that I struggle with what to wear to the conference every year.  This year I just wanted to be comfortable. I didn't want to bake in the sun (it was actually unseasonably cool this year) and I didn't want to be pulling at my sweaty clothes all day. Shorts and a flowy tank were perfect, and when I look at this picture I'm pretty happy with the way I look. The shorts are one size bigger than I normally buy, but they sat better on my hips than the smaller size. The tank hid any flaws in my mid section and the sandals were just perfect. There is something to be said about feeling confident in your skin, let alone in your clothes.

This hasn't always been the case. For the better part of the year I've been struggling with my weight. I'm sure most people look at me and say, "She is so tiny", because I'm short and could fit in my husband's pocket. Yet for me, this is a size I'm not used to even though I weigh exactly what I weighed when I got pregnant with Mackenzie. Back then I was happy with that size, even though I never could fit in my pre-Caitlin jeans. I just bought new jeans and kind of started a new life. I would have been happy fitting into those jeans after having Mackenzie and I did, until I didn't. After having Mackenzie my body went into shock. I suffer from autoimmune deficiencies, and found that everything I ate made me sick. I was exhausted, and because I was eating a really restricted diet I lost a lot of weight. So much weight that I found myself a size I hadn't been since my freshman year of high school. I didn't hate that size, I'll admit it. I was really tiny, and I had to buy jeans in a size I had never fit in before. My clothes fit in such a way that I loved the way looked. For the first time in years, I really did love my body.

Then I got better. With the help of a new diet and some really good supplements, I started eating again. I even started exercising again, running if you can believe it. And I felt good, I felt really good. I felt like I was finally healthy. Then something strange started to happen, my tiny jeans got tight. Shirts I was comfortable in, weren't so comfortable anymore. I started to see flaws when I looked in the mirror. Then I stepped on a scale and was shocked. Up almost six pounds.

That was almost two years ago. Those six pounds eventually turned into eight. Now those eight are actually more like ten. Those tiny jeans went in the giveaway pile. Some of those shirts have been passed on. I've had to buy new jeans. I've had to buy new shirts. Most importantly I've had to "buy" a new attitude. I've had to look in the mirror and buy into this person looking back at me. And let me tell you, it's taking a really long time.

In March I turned thirty seven, and on my thirty seventh birthday I woke up and worked out in my living room. Some Jillian Michaels torture session. I didn't make a big announcement on social media. I was proud of myself, but I also didn't want to fly my would be failure on social media. I say that because I was pretty sure I wouldn't keep up with it. I knew that I'd do really well for three weeks and then when nothing had changed, not the scale, not the way my clothes fit, I would look at my five in the morning alarm and say "fuck it".

But I didn't. I told myself that I didn't have to work out every day. I challenged myself to use my birthday "gift" three times a week. Since I had at least two days off, those became mandatory work out days. The first month was awful. I hated getting up that early, but when I did, when I worked out, I felt so much better about the day and myself. Oh, God. I know what you are thinking. I'm that person who is going to tell you how amazing exercise it. Don't worry. I'm not. I still hate waking up early to exercise. I still have a special kind of hate for Jillian Michaels at five thirty in the morning. I still gasp for air and spell the eff word while doing jumping jacks. But... I really do feel better when it's all said and done.

The changes haven't been drastic. I'm not sure anyone has really noticed, but I have. When I was in Disneyland last month my jeans were bigger. My tank tops didn't cling like they did a month before. My shorts were so loose I could have used a belt. Those were changes I was okay with. Maybe no one else could tell, but I could. I knew I was finding the right fit. The right fit for me.

I've said before on this blog that I will never have flat abs. I will never run a marathon (at least I think I probably won't because it's not a desire of mine). I will never work out every day of the week because sleep, duh. And everyday is a cheat day if it's going to be a good day. But I really want to like the body that I see in the mirror. I really want to find the right fit. I'm quite happy with the way I look currently, even if I hate what the scale says. It's funny because I don't feel like the number the scale says. I feel lighter than that. I feel fitter than that. I finally feel like I no longer want to worry about enjoying chocolate almond cupcakes or coconut milk ice cream by the pint. Years ago I read about people who were throwing away their scales. I'm making it a point to only step on them at the doctor's office.

I look at that picture from Elevate and I feel like it fits. That's me. I'm not sick anymore. I'm not sad anymore. I'm not post baby or prebaby or in training for anything but living a happy and full life. I like being healthy, even if I hate the five a.m. wake up call. I like that my clothes feel like they fit. I like that I don't make myself feel bad if I decide to sleep in, or if I decide to eat french fries. If I decide to eat an entire pint of coconut milk ice cream, I want to be able to face myself in the morning. When I look in the mirror today, I feel like I'm finally looking at me. Flaws and all. Smiles and all. That's a welcomed change after a struggle with finding the right fit for the better part of two years.

I didn't work out this morning. Sleep and the silence of the house was too tempting. I stayed in bed. I ate a frozen banana in my night shirt, while sitting in our recliner. I finished a book I started on Sunday.

I have to admit, it felt really good. In fact, it fit perfectly.

When you find your tribe {Elevate 2015}

A little over three years ago I started this blog. In the beginning my corner of the Internet was a quiet place. I wouldn't say it was lonely, but little more than four people read my blog. One of them was my mother. But I kept chugging along, writing my heart out, telling truths about my life and motherhood. It wasn't until I googled "cake pops", that I found "life style blogs", I had no idea they existed. I found a favorite and followed it religiously, and wouldn't you know it I found other blogs. I started participating in link ups and ad swaps. When this little bloggy that could hit it's first birthday I had made some friends. Internet friends. Blog friends. Friends that I connected with online and via email. And everyone in my real life thought that was so weird.

I would have never guessed that those "Internet" friends would one day become real life friends. Friends that I would email, text, and call. Friends that I would one day hug, hold their babies, meet their husbands. Friends, that would understand a part of me that many never would. Why is this spot of the Internet so important to me? Why would I cry buckets over losing the HTML for a guest post? What is the big deal that my original Instagram account was deleted? Why would I cry over such things? Laugh if you will, but my blog friends understood.

Every year I come home from Elevate with a renewed spirit. I'm exactly what the conference promotes, Elevated. I get inspired, not just by the speakers, but by the women who participate. The women who move mountains, farm out child care, save every single penny that they have to their name to make their trek to beautiful Southern California. Those are the women who fill up my cup, with their talk of endless nights mothering, writing, working, making. They craft, they worship, they lead, they inspire. They are the reason I will return to Elevate again and again. I will move my own mountains, bring my children with me, and scrape up every single penny. Because these women are my people. They are my tribe.

These are the women who start small business that turn into big businesses. They are women who write down the ugly, who promote their platforms with integrity, who love life even among the chaos of everyday. These are the women, who like me, worry that they are doing it wrong, and work tirelessly to make sure there is food on the table and roofs over all the heads. The women of my tribe understand that sometimes our dreams get put on the back burner, that our goals sometimes feel so out of reach, that some days are just a wash. But they are also the same women who will not give up, they will not let go, they will do whatever it takes to make their dreams come true. They will one day call me, text me, or email me to say, "I did it", and I will finally say, "I always knew you would".

Without my tribe the blogging world would never feel as safe as it does. It would be a boring and lonely place. Without my tribe I wouldn't push myself to the limit, I wouldn't expose so much of me, I most likely would have quit a long time ago. Because contrary to what people think, blogging life is not easy, it's not glamorous, it's not a get rich quick scheme. Blogging is a bear. It will chew you up and spit you out if you let it. So we gather together, online or in real life, and commit to not letting this blogging life get the best of us and our spirits.

Elevate 2015 was a beautiful experience. I met a new group of blogger and makers. I met small business owners and big business owners. I met women who are changing the face of women owned media and women owned businesses. Their stories were inspiring, but it is there life that makes them real life leaders. The grass always appears greener, but great successes take hard work and sometimes great hardships. Nothing is perfect, even if your Instagram account says otherwise. Elevate is always a place that the tribe can gather and be themselves. A place to be honest and open about what really matters in our lives. Every year I'm blown away by the experiences that got us all in that one room in New Port with that beautiful view.

This was Elevate's fourth year, and my third. The women who coordinate Elevate are beautiful inside and out. They work tirelessly for a year to make the day fantastic. They pick the right mix of speakers and vendors to put our hearts in the right place. Summer and Jen lead this tribe every year and inspire us to be our best selves. I can't thank them enough, because they want every single attendee to succeed. They want every single participant at Elevate to dream bigger, work harder, and be their best self.

There are so many conferences that I could attend every year, and every year I debate if I want to save my pennies for another experience. I think about me, and how I could self promote, take those classes and sessions on how to grow my blog, increase my content, maybe even publish a book. But then I remember how I feel when I leave Elevate. Elevate is so much more than a place to be educated about content and followers and self promotion. Elevate is a place where you find a better sense of self, not just as a blogger but also as a human. Sure I could learn a million ways to self promote, but would I walk away feeling like a a better person? Would I be as inspired to do better? Would I feel like my vision was more in line, that I had a handle on my dreams, that I would push my self to take the leap faith needed to accomplish said dreams? Probably not, because Elevate is still a small enough conference that you really could hug every person in the room. And I love that.

There is something special in the connections that you make with people you see on your screen. You see them everyday, you see their family vacations, you know when they are sick, you know when they are hurting. You share your successes, new homes, new jobs, new babies, new hair cuts, and come fall their Starbucks red cups. You get to hug those people who inspire you and who you have helped inspire. You get to hug those women who needed it that day in September when they hated their season in life, when they had to do the hard things, when they wanted just a little bit more out of that day. You get to embrace them for who they are, and they embrace you back with the same intensity. Because they are your tribe.

I am so incredibly lucky to call these women my friends, my tribe. This year I had a quick dinner with Renee and Kristine on Friday night, my girls joined us. It was heaven, and we decided that we could do this every Friday night for the rest of our lives. Without Nay and Kristine I wouldn't have made it this long. I would have quit blogging a long time ago. It's their support, sometimes daily, that keeps me going. It keeps me inspired and motivated. It makes my scary posts less scary, and it allows me to be comfortable when I ugly write out my heart. Their hugs validate that sharing my life in this space is exactly the right thing for me. Even when I give too much information and make my Husband blush. These women, my tribe, they have my back.

Every year, when I come home from Elevate, I know I'm doing exactly what I supposed to be doing. Elevate confirms that I'm exactly where I should be, with my tribe.

Hello June {2015}

Hello June. I feel like you got here too quickly. As if we just rang in the new year and here you are, ready to party. Every year we are so happy to see you June. We need those lazier days. Where we lounge by the pool or watch movies in the living room with the lights off to stay cool. I'm happy to see you June, it means late nights and sleeping in and dates for mini fraps with my girls.

Mini Frap Madness.

Hello Laundry. We just can't break this cycle can we? I ignore you for as long as possible and while you may be clean, you sure aren't going to fold yourself. Why? Can't you just do me one solid? Fine. Maybe we will have a date night. Maybe next week. It's not you laundry, it's me. That's a lie. It's totally you.

Hello Disney hangover. I'm still pining over you, and all your excitement. Seeing you through the eyes of my children made me fall in love with you all over again. I needed more time. I needed to ride Dumbo one more time, and suffer through It's a Small World another day. I now spend my days thinking of ways to get back to Anaheim. I didn't know that I would feel this way, but you truly are a magical place. And having this kind of Hangover isn't so bad.

It says "No Climbing", but nothing about Selfies.

Hello mama milestone. I did it. I actually took my girls on a road trip to Costa Mesa. With the help of my iPhone we didn't get lost, but we did have to pull over a lot, and stop to pee, and even argue over the iPad, still, WE DID IT. In my early years of motherhood I would have never attempted such a feat. This year, if I wanted to go to Elevate Conference, I really didn't have a choice, but still I was nervous. I still white knuckled the wheel. I still told Jesus to take the wheel more than once. As I've learned over the years of being a mother, there is something sacred and gratifying about overcoming an obstacle on your own. Even if it's as simple of driving your five and eight year old to Southern California without your husband. After years of horrible road trips to the coast with crying children in the backseat, this was a huge win. This was me, proving to myself once again, that I can do the things that scare me.

Stopped for fries and Dr. Pepper. Of course!

Hello Elevate Swag. I'm starting to work on my Elevate recap, but I have to say, Elevate is like Oprah's Favorite Things. Except that you don't know you want these things and that they will be come your favorite. You have no idea that some of them exist. And then boom. Here you go, enjoy. I haven't even gone through all of it yet, but here is a taste. Every year the women of Elevate knock me out with their generosity, their hearts, and their message of inspiration. That alone is enough, but then, you get some serious swag. Holla.

Modify Ink, Agnes & Dora, BabyLitBooks, Woven Pear

Hello Inspiration. You can't meet with your bloggy friends and not walk away inspired to do more, write more, achieve more. I have been inspired to do great things, and not just in my blog life, but in my real life too. I feel like a weight has been lifted, as if I've gotten new glasses and can see my goals and dreams a little clearer.

Emmymom, Pink on the Cheek, The Foley Fam, Shaping Up

Hello new work life. It's been a fantastic vacation, but it's back to the grind for me. Except this time it's in a whole new world, and that is exciting. I'm so excited to learn a new business, and I'm excited to see how I can use more of my creative side in this industry. Sometimes all we need is a bump, a push, a little opportunity to bring more of ourselves into our work life. I'm really looking forward to doing that.

New hair.

Hello Me. How are you? Yeah, I'm super tired. But how amazing was May? How many new experiences did you/me have? How many times were you/we inspired? Do you feel like this is just the beginning? I do. I have no doubts that you are going to feel renewed. Let's do this. Let's do great things. Let's create and write and be present. Let's choose happiness. Let's choose this life, and stop waiting for another. Sound good? Yeah. Me too.

Great tips I learned at Elevate

I'm no expert in this blogging world, but somewhere along the way, I've picked up a few things. I also realize that I never shared the Top Five Blogging Tips I learned at Elevate. Yes, I know that was all the way back in May, and that kind of feels like a lifetime ago. At the same time, I've been really thinking about how I'm going to evolve with this blog over the next year, and some of these tips may just give you a kick in the pants as well. Do you have some invaluable Blogging Advice? Leave it for me in the comments, and be sure to share a link to a post you may have wrote about this same thing. I'd love to read it!

Tip #1: Affiliate Links via Little Miss Momma

The best piece of advice I took away from Ashely regarding Affiliate links was to be sure you choose affiliate links that line up with the feel and voice of your blog. This is really important to me. When I first started blogging, I felt like I had to say yes to everything. Yes I'll sign up and review this product my readers will never use, yes I'll talk about this service that has nothing to do with me... When the products that you are aligning yourself with have nothing to do with you, it can make your readers not trust you. There are tons of affiliates that you can sign up for, like Lisa Leonard has one, but if you rarely wear jewelry, will you really make the most out of this relationship? Affiliates are supposed to be your partners, so working with the right one should be a win/win for both of you.

Tip #2: Collaborate and Contribute to your community via Diary of an Addict

Alissa is a master at collaborating with the blogging community. In addition to writing a fabulous blog, she knows her stuff when it comes to networking and building a community. Alissa says guest posting and inviting collaborators to your blog will not only help you build lasting relationships, but will also be great exposure for you and your blog. I totally get this. I try to offer up guest posts as often as I can. Especially on blogs I've been newly introduced to. Meet a new follower on Instagram? Answer their call for contributors or guest posters. Really like some one's handmade shop? Reach out to them and see if they would like to collaborate on a giveaway or guest post. Most of the blogging relationships that I have today are a product of guest posting and giveaway collaborations. The most important part of all of this is to make sure your collaborators are in line with your voice and vision. Just like when working with affiliate programs. I've been approached before by someone wanting to guest post, like a company or a program, but when I really read what they were about, I realized, they just weren't a good fit for this blog. Alisa's best advice: have a process in place for contributors (a schedule of posts, back up plans, types of posts), and don't make contributors a "forever" thing. Your readers want to hear you at the end of the day. Make sure your blog is still you, with just a little extra (contributors) for fun.

Tip #3 Pick a Social Media via The 36th Avenue

I can't rave enough about Desiree. I love her. Not only is she an amazing woman, but this gal knows her blogging stuff. She talked about things that made my head spin and my heart burst. You can read that post here. In regards to bloggy business, the thing that stuck with me the most was her take on social media. Desiree said that we need to pick a Social Media and be amazing at it. For example if you have thousands of likes on Facebook, work and post on that page. Engage your readers there. If Twitter is your place, tweet your heart out. If you Pin like a bad ass, Pin it. Whatever it is that you do best, or where ever you spend the most time, do that one. For me, I'm an Instagram girl. I feel like I reach more of my readers and engage them more on Instagram. Sure I still send the occasional tweet, and I still post my links on my Facebook page, but for me Instagram is where I spend the majority of my time. So pick one social media and be present there, instead of trying to be present at all of them all the time. This is the kind of genius advice Desiree gives that leaves you thinking, "Why didn't I think of that?".

Tip #4 Be ready to capture the moments on the move via Chrissy and Stephanie

Chrissy and Stephanie were the house photographers at Elevate. They did an excellent job, to see their work click here. More importantly they taught me some really valuable things about taking pictures. If you have read this blog for awhile then you know, I take horrible pictures. I don't even have a fancy camera, I only use my iPhone. They taught me that to stage pictures, lighting is key. Even if it's just a selfie, the right light can change everything. They also taught me to use household items to stage pictures and make them look more professional. The biggest take away for me was to be ready for those moment with kids. Kids are so unpredictable, especially when you are trying to get a good shot. I have to agree with Chrissy and Stephanie when they suggest to let your little ones move and play, and just be ready to click. Some of my best photos have been the product of just clicking when the kids aren't even posed of looking at the camera.

Tip #5 On Finding Balance via Lisa Leonard

I wrote an entire post about Lisa Leonard and her Five "Be"s to building your community. Not only was Lisa so incredibly humble and full of grace, but she was also very candid about her life. She runs a business with her Husband. They work together, live together, parent together. She spoke about what that looks like and that sometimes, they have to leave work at work. Of course this is incredibly hard for her and her husband, they take pride in their product and their business. She also has a blog that she writes. So how does she find balance? In short, she admitted that she doesn't, and that she may never find it. Regardless of that, she says that she is always in pursuit of balance. I take comfort in that. I may not run a successful business, and my blog may not be the type that gets a million hits a day, but balance is something I'm always in search of. Lisa admitted that sometimes she has to leave her phone at home, she has to step away from the computer, she has to fully invest her self being physically and mentally present. It's a great takeaway from a great woman who is at her core, a really fabulous human.

As you've read, here and in prior posts, I've learned so much from Elevate. I'm hoping to take some of this advice and use it over the next year. The best thing about blogging is that we are always evolving and growing, as we are in life. Our blogs follow our journey into the next phases. Sometimes it's exciting and sometimes it's scary, but with an entire community behind you, like the women I've met through Elevate, it doesn't have to be.

The Revival {Elevate 2014 and Me}

getting my selfie on.

 When I woke the Friday before Elevate I said a short prayer. I prayed for peace, grace, and comfort. I prayed that our family road trip would be easy and safe. I prayed that we would leave the house on time. I prayed that I would find the answers I was looking for by the end of my trip. Even with a million things left to do before we could physically leave for Southern California, I had this overwhelming sense that on Saturday it was all going to come together.

The week before Elevate was one of the hardest in recent memory. I worked every day up until the day we were going to leave. My business cards came in and were cut off at the bottom again. My iPhone decided to die Wednesday afternoon and took with it all my pictures and contacts. I got back the contacts, not the pictures, but thank you to Instagram for staying alive this year and being my backup. Thursday I found out about some “politics” and drama that was afoot at work, and by the time I arrived home on Thursday night, I wasn’t in the mood to pack or prep. I laid in bed and wondered what the hell I was doing with my life. And what on earth I was going to do with this blog.

I knew I was unhappy. I was unhappy working outside of the home. I was unhappy with the direction my blog was going, as I’ve had to cut down on the attention I pay to it, and I’ve had to almost cut all interaction with my readers. There are so many things that I have to say yes to, my children, my husband, my life, and since this blog generates no money or income, its the one thing that gets cut off my priority list. Sadly it’s also one of the things that brings me great joy. Writing and interacting with my readers is one of the best things about blogging and when you cut that out, blogging just seems like a lot of work. So there I was, Thursday before Elevate, in bed crying for the seventh time that week. That’s not even an exaggeration. I wish it was. 

It took close to seven hours to get to our hotel. That’s with plenty of stops for the girls and traffic. It also allowed for a lot thinking time. Was my employer the best employer for me? Was the job the best job for me? How is the stress of working affecting my children? How is the stress effecting me? How many nights do I spend away from home only to come home and kiss by sleeping children on their heads? Question after question, all leading to answers I wasn’t ready to admit. Answers I really didn’t want to face. So as we pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, I sighed. We had made it and I was ready. I was ready to breathe again. I was ready to breathe new life into my blog, into my family, and into me.

Of course I couldn’t sleep on Friday night. I was just so excited. I stayed up talking to the Hubbs about the speakers. How I couldn’t wait to meet so and so, and how I couldn’t wait to see my bloggy buddies. I also couldn’t wait to reconnect with some people I had briefly met last year, but felt like I knew since I’ve been social media stalking them for a year. He asked a lot of questions about the blog world, since honestly, he still after three years doesn’t understand it. That’s also an issue we have between us and this blog. Before Elevate he was still at a place where it just seemed like a thing I do. A place I go to vent, then spend hours on my phone on Instagram and Twitter, wasting time. And no matter how many times I try to explain to him a blogger’s life, he still didn’t get it. But lucky for us, Elevate changed that.

I woke on Saturday with a feeling of peace. I had some truths I needed to face. Some cold hard facts about how unhappy I had been for the month. I finally felt like I had uncovered some answers about where I wanted to be in my life and where I was. I was excited to see friends and listen to speakers, but I was also excited to be inspired. I wanted to reignite the fire that I’ve had for this blog. I wanted some better direction. I wanted to find that spark that I felt like I’ve always carried to write in this space, because I haven’t felt that spark since January.

I don’t have to tell you about being at Elevate. At this point I’ve written three recaps about being there. Elevate is about the women. The women who inspire. The women who lead. The women who gather and make new friendships over painting frames or making garlands, when that is definitely not their forte. It’s about going up to women who inspire you and saying, “You are such an inspiration”, and then they hug you and embrace you. Elevate is about connecting with women who are so different from you, yet so very much the same.

What I loved about Elevate this year was that within minutes of being there I knew it was exactly where I needed to be. These were my people, this was my tribe. The calm that came over me as I walked in and put my bags down. The excitement in seeing old friends and meeting new ones. The words of wisdom and courage that spoke directly to me. The fact that no one admonished me for Instagramming or Tweeting. No one was offended if I took another selfie in the middle of a program. It was welcomed and expected. At dinner I commented that I loved being at Elevate because no one was upset that I was Instagramming at the table. Because every single woman at Elevate understood the need to reconnect with those readers who were not able to attend. They understood that while we were enjoying ourselves and the day, we were and are constantly running a business and a brand. Something that is so hard to explain to those on the outside. I don’t tweet and Instagram because I’m bored, I do it because I’m trying to create a community, a business, and a brand. And yes, sometimes it’s in excess, but many times it’s necessary.

I didn’t have to explain the tears or the frustrations I’ve had over the last five months. I didn’t have to explain how my quest for balance is one I’ve almost abandoned. I didn’t have to go into detail about my feeling about this blog and how I feel like it’s slowly dying every day I don’t publish a post. All of my fears and worries, all the responsibilities I had waiting for me at home, all the emails I’ve neglected: they were all understood, embraced, and overlooked. Because we all have them waiting for us too. But on this day, we celebrated. We celebrated our blogs, we celebrated our lives, and we celebrated each other.

The Hubbs and the girls picked me up Saturday night, and sadly the party wasn’t over yet. But I wasn’t upset that I had to go. I was on a high. So filled with inspiration and light. I got the confirmation I had been looking for: yes, this blog is the right thing. Some days it’s the answer, some days it’s the remedy, some days it’s the salvation. No matter what form it takes, its the right thing for me. It’s exactly what I should be doing. The time spent on my laptop, on Instagram, time spent writing into the wee hours of the night, they are not hours wasted. They are hours spent, getting me to the next step, they allow me to follow my dream. The time spent allows me to grow into this person, that for the first time in my life, I really, really like. I even enjoy her.

And the Hubbs enjoys her too. He got to see me, surrounded by this world I love and that he doesn’t really understand. He received hugs from Nay and Kristine, which surprised him, but didn’t surprise me. They feel like they know him, and they kind of do, virtually. I was told one more than one occasion that he was going to be greeted with a middle finger, since that is what he is known for in my Instagram photos. His reputation precedes him. My girls, the “absolute girlies” were met with open arms. Which to me seemed like poetry in motion. They are what built this blog, and they continue to fuel it. But for the first time in a long time they saw their mommy in her old life, her happy life. Yes, Elevate did that. It made me realize that I want to be happy again. I want to write again. I want to breathe new life into this blog again.

As we drove back to our hotel, I was giddy with excitement. I wanted to share anything and everything with my family. It was such a good day and I couldn’t hold back. Then from the back seat Caitlin asked, “Mommy did they have wine there?”, “No why?” I asked, “Because you act like you’ve had a lot of wine”. I laughed for ten minutes. Especially after John replied, “Mommy’s not drunk, she’s just happy”. If that wasn’t a bittersweet, slap in the face, get your life together moment, I don’t know what is.

 

So many good things came out of our family weekend at Elevate. It wasn’t the quick trip to Downtown Disney, although that was good. It wasn’t the change of scenery. It was the fact that my family got to see a little bit of the blogging world from my eyes. The Hubbs better understands the relationships and the work required to maintain a blog. He even confessed to following along on Twitter all day since he still doesn’t have an Instagram (I know, right?). He said he could see just how much fun I was having, but also the opportunity that is there for me and my blog. Which is a break through for us on so many levels I can’t even begin to explain.

As you can see and read, Elevate was so much more than a conference this year. I needed inspiration and confirmation so badly. I was in desperate need of some direction. I also needed to redefine what my happiness looked like. I’ve been home for over a week and I’m very much back into reality. But there are some definite changes I want to make. There are things I want to put into motion. And there are goals I have set with specific time lines. I never set time lines or deadlines for that matter.

Elevate was a unique experience for me, which is the way it should be. No two blogger are alike, so no two experiences will be alike. But I’m sure that I’m not the only one who left with a new resolve. I’m sure I’m not the only one who continued to float on an Elevate high for a couple of days. And I know without a doubt that not a single one of us is unchanged after that beautiful Saturday in the dunes.

I’ve heard many stories about other blogging conferences. The classes and the sessions and the celebrities in participation. And I’d love to attend another conference where bloggers meet up and inspire. But I’m totally biased when it comes to Elevate. It’s so personal and intimate, and it’s so much more than a blogging conference. For me, Elevate 2014 was a revival.

Building your community with Lisa Leonard {Elevate2014}

The highlight of my day. Meeting Lisa Leonard and being inspired by her.

I find that I follow so many people on social media. Real life people, celebrities, bloggers, bloggers that feel like celebrities. A person can really get lost in all the appearances. People look good in social media. Their lives look perfect. Their families are flawless portraits of well behaved children and loving devoted husbands. Not that I post anything remotely like that, but you know what I mean. Sometimes I wonder if some of the people I follow on social media are as genuine and amazing as they appear. In the case of Lisa Leonard, she is exactly who you see on Instagram.

Lisa is a truth speaker, which says a lot because the truth isn’t always beautiful. She is the walking definition of kindness and grace. Her smile not only lights up a room but is contagious. And then, she speaks, and you can hear the kindness and the love in her voice. It’s inspiring. If you follow her at all then you know that her life is far from perfect. She has two beautiful sons, one David, with special needs. You know that she is an entrepreneur and a small business owner. A business which she owns and runs with her husband. You also know that she is a driving force in the blogging community and the creative community. So with all of these things that she is, you might be surprised to find that she, despite her twenty five thousand followers on Instagram, is very much like you and me. A mother, a wife, a blogger, a woman. But it’s her approach to building a community that sets her apart.

At Elevate Lisa presented the 5 “B”s of building a community. Whether that community is with your blog, or if that community is the one you choose to live in, there are five things that can take your community to a higher level. In addition they are also five things to take your life to a higher and happier level.

The 5 “B”s to Build the Community You Want! - Lisa Leonard

Be Loving:

This sounds so simple. But to be loving is really hard. Lisa shared that she wakes each morning with the intent to “meet and greet” with love. Even when she receives discouraging comments and emails to her blog and shop. Even when the world is presenting itself in a hard way. She said that to be loving is to free yourself. Because when people are mean or say harsh words against us, it is not about us, our children, our families, or our businesses/blogs, it’s about the person speaking the harshness. That person, with hate or hatred in their heart, needs loving the most, and if you can find love for that person, then you are free from the harshness. You free yourself from the hurt. Do you realize how incredibly powerful that is? I cried when she spoke about being loving in a world and blog world that can be anything but. To be loving is an incredible power that we have inside all of us. Yet it is one of the hardest things we can task ourselves to do. I can tell you from hearing Lisa speak and meeting her in person, she is very loving, and let’s this guide her in her freedom to live.

Be Yourself:

“When you love yourself, you can love”. So true in it’s simplicity. Lisa talked about always being dissatisfied with things in her life. The extra ten pounds, hard created ideas stolen, the way she felt about herself. She said she has felt disappointments and dissatisfaction at times in her life. She shared times when she was so overwhelmed and scared at what she faced in her life. How could she love, when she didn't love the person looking at her in the mirror? But once she found that she could let go of all her worries and skepticism she had for herself and really love herself and her fears, she could love with her whole heart. She realized that if she could love herself flawed, she could love anyone. Her message to us was to be our flawed selves. And to love ourselves anyway. Embrace who we are and allow ourselves the love we deserve. In turn we will be able to be loving. I’ve built this blog on being myself, and embracing my flaws and fears. Once I could admit that motherhood wasn’t my strong point, it became my strong point. I strive to be myself everyday, and love that person that I am, even on my worst days.

Be Brave:

Lisa posed this question to us, “What if the goal is bravery?”. Could the real goal in life be bravery? Are we on this journey for love and life, and all the while those are not the goals, but the end results of being brave? Pretty powerful questions don’t you think? Lisa talked about big acts of bravery versus small acts of bravery. She shared that she knows someone who battles chronic depression every day, and every day they get up. They get up and face the day. In her mind, that is a daily act of bravery, and to some it may be so slight, but to a person battling depression it’s the world. It made me think about bravery in my daily life. Am I taking chances? Am I putting myself out there? Or am I too afraid to be brave. It gave me a lot to think about when it comes to my writing and to my blogging.

Be Careful:

Lisa encouraged us to be careful with our opportunities. Every opportunity may not be for you. It may sound good and it may have real attractions like money or earned success, but is it really for you? She shared that she had the opportunity to host a segment for a television station in another state. She loved the people she would be working with, and she loved the opportunity to show her creative/DIY side, and it was going to be wonderful PR for her business. In the end, she had to commit to being away for almost a week every month. She knew that was not the best fit for her family, and in turn would not be a good fit for her. So she walked away from that opportunity, because it didn’t feel right. Being careful in the face of opportunity is important in the blogging world. Especially if the opportunity isn’t you, isn’t your voice. She encouraged us to say “no” to posts that don’t carry our voice, posts that we don’t identify with, no matter how wonderful the opportunity. Being careful allows us to be true to ourselves.

Be Persistent:

“If you are determined and you do not give up, you will succeed”. Again, so simple in theory, and so hard in practice. Being determined takes hard work and patience. Two things that I am inconsistent at best. Determination is more than not giving up, it’s believing that you can, it’s waking up every day with the same goal in mind, it’s evolving and moving forward, no matter the obstacles. Lisa encouraged us to ask for opportunity again and again, don’t wait for opportunity to find us. Be persistent in how you operate your blog or your business, continue to evolve to the next thing, but don’t change so quickly. Being persistent while being yourself means that you have to grow into your blog and into your business at a pace your readers will respect. According to Lisa be persistent and success will seek you.

At the end of the day, before I left, I made sure to thank Lisa for her words of wisdom, but I also wanted to tell her something. I wanted to tell her that even though I’m sure she gets comments and emails daily about how wonderful and kind she is, how beautiful she is inside and out, that she is the most genuine person I have ever met. She practices what she preaches and is a good human. She is kind and loving, but also just as flawed as everyone else. When I asked her during her session, how she finds balance in her life she said, “I don’t, and I probably never will, but I try, and I’ll always try”. She is that kind of woman, and that kind of inspiration. It was an amazing opportunity to meet her, shake her hand, and hug her. But what amazed me more is that this kind of human exists. That there are people in this world so beautiful you want to surround yourself with their light. Lisa has the light.

Whether you use the five “B”s to build a community or inspire your life, use them. Remind yourself of them, and in the end live them in your daily life. Maybe I won’t ever live all five “B”s at once, but I will try, I will always try.