I realized the other day that all the Mean Girls in high school grow up to be Mean Mommies. I'm serious. And not mean to their children, but mean to other mommies. You know who and what I'm talking about. It's true that I believe that it's ok to be envious or even jealous at times. It goes with the territory. Sometimes you look at other moms and wonder...How does she manage to work, bake cookies for the bake sale (FROM SCRATCH), make her daughters Halloween costume, AND manage a fortune 500 company??? I know, I've done it, and then searched in vain to find her one flaw... Only to discover it's similar to mine... Trying to live up to the EXPECTATIONS...
I remember high school. Those girls with the perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect clothes. I was not one of them. On purpose, but also because I knew I couldn't be. I have always been different, at times strange, and when I finally accepted who I was, I stopped trying. That was a great feeling that carried me through college, then on to adult life. Until self acceptance came to a screeching halt at the dawn of motherhood. On the other hand something else popped up... Mom Envy.
Mom Envy. I had it bad. I turned into a Mean Mommy. I hated those mom's who had on full face make-up and cute (pre-baby sized) clothes at Target. I was jealous of the Moms who baked and crafted, had clean houses, and clean hair. How in the world was that possible? I could barely eat a meal those first few months. What was wrong with my picture? Then I realized, with help, nothing was wrong with my picture. It was my picture, to paint, manipulate, cover in white paint and start over. Just like other moms were doing day by day. What a novel idea.
Where in the world did we moms get this idea of Mom Envy or Momma Hate? Sure we can be jealous, but let's be realistic. Moms do what they want and what they are capable of doing at that time. I would love to spend my days cooking gourmet (if I knew how), but with my kiddos I'm lucky if I can microwave. So why am I jealous of the mom who cooks organic from scratch? Well, because that's what I want. Ugh, envy. I would love to spend my days locked in a gorgeous craft room, with a sewing machine, making all those DIY projects from Pinterest... But I don't have a craft room, sewing machine, or time to even finish this blog without someone crying or pooping their diaper. Mom Envy.
So what's a mom with Mom Envy to do? Do I become a Mean Mommy? No. Because I was turning into that person, and then I remembered high school me, and the bullies, and the self hate. I don't want to be a mean girl. I certainly don't want to be a Mean Mommy. So I've decided to admire those who can. Those who can DO, those who can't find the time, make a list for another time. I don't want to be judgmental or envious. I want to be happy and gracious. Some of my friends have started on new adventures in their lives. Taking risks and meeting challenges head on. I'm so glad that I can be happy for them and not jealous. I can take risks and face new challenges. Stop smiling! It's possible!
What really prompted this blog was another blog that I follow. Little Miss Momma is someone who I admire (see what I did there? I said admire instead of envy). You can follow her at www.littlemissmomma.com. I've talked about her before. She is a crafting/shortcut genius. I like what she writes, and I love her positive outlook. However, after a weekend blog post, she posted to Facebook, about an Anonymous comment. This "Anonymous" left a comment that was really mean and hurtful. Basically Miss Anon let LMM know that she really wanted to like her but she really couldn't. That LMM was way to fake and trying way too hard to be perfect. That maybe if she was a little more "real" she could get on board. Yadda, yadda, yadda. In short it wasn't nice, and I thought, REALLY? You took the time to like some one's Facebook page, read their blog, then take it upon yourself to criticize? Ok it's a free country and all, but why have we forgotten, "If you don't have anything nice to say..."? It gave me the creepies, gross times 1000!
In the end, I admit I'm not perfect. Very far on the other side of the world from perfect. I DO want to be nicer, kinder, and more gracious. NO MORE MOM ENVY! Can we all try? Let's all try to use admire, instead of envy. When you boil it down, that's all it really is... Admiration that has manipulated into envy because it's something you're not doing. SO WHAT? We are all MOMS. We are all on the same journey, battling for the same outcome, HAPPY KIDS. So if baking, crafting, cleaning, cooking, or blogging makes you a better mom, great. Happy moms have happy kids. So whatever your neighbor, mom BF, BF, or person you follow/or know on Facebook is doing... Admire them. They want what you want... A few moments of bliss, doing what makes them happy, and a sense of accomplishment.
And I admire that...
Happy Blogging,
Megan
