After waiting eight business days, when I paid for five, I was so excited to see the little cardboard box filled to the brim with Christmas cheer from the Crutchfields (that's us). I cheered, I stopped everything, just to open that little box and oh, wait... That's not our family picture, that's a little girl. Sure she is cute and all, but who in the Sam F*ck is she? What in Rudolph's name is this crap? Where the hell are my Christmas cards? I'll tell you where my Christmas are, they are most likely with a nice woman named Teresa Becker, since I am now the proud owner of her 60 5x7 photo cards with the sweetest little girl prancing around in a tutu.
First let's talk about SnapFish customer service which has a phone service that closes at 5pm pacific time. Fabulous. Let's talk about their twitter account that tweeted me a link where I could live chat with an available associate, but wait you have to wait for that associate to come on line. And that my friends took over 30 minutes and even when it would light up that an associate was available, there would be an additional wait of oh, say 7 minutes and 47 seconds, before the chat timed you out. When I finally did get through, Prodam (an avatar maybe) roboticaly asked me what they could help me with and when I told them the situation, they apologized and said they could offer me a full refund, and then sent me the link to re-order. TO RE-ORDER. Hello, did you not notice that there are only 15 days until Christmas, and at the rate that Snapfish takes to ship, and at the risk of them fucking up again, I'll take the refund only. I won't be shopping with them again. I was sure to tell them that in the survey that followed my encounter with Prodam. And I swear to Santa I am not making up that name.
I know what you are thinking. Geeze lady, one slight mistake on the people at Snapfish, and you are off the rails. Give them a chance. Everyone makes mistakes. Ok, I see your point, but then again here is my problem with that. If Snapfish is the kind of company that really cares about their customers, then why wasn't I offered a refund and expedited shipping on my cards? Why wasn't I offered an additional 25 cards for free with no refund and free overnight shipping? Snapfish didn't even ask about the cards I do have, which are not mine. Cards that are of some one's child. Sixty cards to be exact, so somewhere in the world Teresa Becker is just as pissed as I am, or she is in tears that she has to reorder her holiday cards as well. Snapfish made no effort to save the sale, and by the status of their live chat, I have a feeling I wasn't the only pissed off customer. But hey Snapfish, change my mind... Or don't.
Alright, I'll tell you the real reason I'm so mad. I'm a procrastinator. I waited way too long to order "fancy" cards which I never do. For the past six years I've been ordering Costco cards, the 5x7 ones on photo paper using their templates. I always order them the week before Thanksgiving and mail them the day after Thanksgiving. It's like the only thing I do that's organized and scheduled in my life. My Christmas cards are my small holiday victory. I pride myself on my punctuality. But not this year. This year I went to TinyPrints to check them out. And by check them out I mean fall in love with an impossibly expensive card that I knew The Hubbs would never agree to. Because we have to order like 60 and that's just immediate family. I'm totally serious. Anyway, so I was totally in love with these cards, and since I couldn't afford them, I contacted a designer friend of mine to see if she could do something similar, but our wires got crossed, and so I found myself card-less the day after Thanksgiving. And since Black Friday deals were a dime a dozen that day, I found a great deal and an acceptable card on Snapfish. Seemed legit. So I hit purchase and the rest is now the Christmas Card Disaster of 2013.
This is what I get for trying to be "fancy" and have Christmas cards on "fancy paper". This is what I get for trying to keep up with the Joneses. I totally get it, if you want quality, you have to pay for quality, and this year, I've gotta pay for cheap. Well not totally cheap, I put an emergency call in to my designer friend and she answered, and agreed to help even though she has a long list of loyal card clients in front of me. As I type she is working on my card. And yes, I will pay her for the digital file she is rushing to me, so that I can upload it to Costco, and by the grace of Frosty have those babies signed, sealed, stamped, and delivered by Christmas Eve.
Then again, I may just publish my digital copy on my blog and then Instagram it since obviously this is a total first world problem and now I sound like a complete asshole.
Ever have a Christmas disaster of your own doing? Leave it for me in the comments so I can read them and day drink.