December Confessions {2013}

Happy Friday.  Let's say we were friends in real life.  Maybe you are my neighbor, maybe my blogging bestie, or maybe even my real bestie.  If we were both in the same place at the same time, I'd invite you over.  Ask you to ignore the toys in the living room floor, the ring around my toilet, the paint hand prints around the sink.  I'd offer you a beer, a cup of tea, some wine, or maybe a cup of coffee if my filters that I've had since 2008 are still where I put them last... We don't make much coffee around these parts.  Then I'd sit in my recliner, and you'd sit on my sofa and by the light of my tree I'd tell you all the embarrassing, real life, messy, hilarious things I've done so far this month.  Perhaps you're going to need something stronger than beer...  

I served chicken nuggets and Pringles for breakfast because that's what was requested and I couldn't negotiate any longer.  It's better than Cheetos and chocolate by far, but I still felt a little strange.

I went and got a pedicure with hairy legs.  I'm talking Big Foot long.  I even warned the gal and gave her a chance to decline.  Nope she did them anyway. The lady sitting next to me stared at me the whole time in disgust.  Not my finest moment.

That's the same night I took both my girls to get pedis.  On a school night.  It was after 7pm.  Oh well, homework was done, and the Hubbs approved the outing, so... I'll be a stricter mother with a better kept schedule next week, or the week after or in 2014.

I made time for a shower, knowing my daughter would be late to school because I couldn't go in and talk to the Vice Principle with hair three days past a shower.  I promise I skipped make up and obviously any leg shaving as noted in my sentence about Big Foot pedicures.

I'm making McDonald's part of the food pyramid.  It's the holidays.  Sue me.

I bought a Ken Doll Tuxedo for my Elf on the Shelf.  You don't have to say it.  I already know.  Pretty nifty video featuring said tuxedo here.

I bought a $2 advent candy calendar because I could not craft one.  I had zero motivation, and I didn't want to set myself up for failure.  Also it was December 2nd.  So you know.  The amazing thing is that my kids LOVE it.  Like can't wait to rip into it.  I shouldn't be surprised as chocolate is one of our major food groups.

I bought my kids another boxed set of the claymation Holiday movies because I couldn't bring myself to look through a million and one DVDs to find the originals.  I'm also convinced even if I did look and possibly find them, they are probably scratched and wouldn't play anyway.  As you can see I can justify my way out of anything. 

I watched the Glee Christmas episode last week and was totally disgusted.  I'm not easily offended people, but if you are getting paid a gazillion dollars to write a Christmas episode, for the love of Baby Jesus write a good one.  A believable one. One that doesn't make me want to wash my eyes with bleach.  Also I don't think Becky Jackson needs to continually say the words, "bitches", "sluts", and "horny" in every episode.  We get it, she's shocking and foul mouthed.  Ugh!  Also there was no Blaine and Kurt Christmas Duet.  Done.

So I downloaded the last two Christmas episodes of Glee and watched them while I did some crafty business.  And you know what I heard?  A Blaine and Kurt Duet. And you know what my kids have been singing ever since?  "Last Christmas".  My work is obviously done here. 

I have been fighting with my six year old on a daily basis, as if I was a six year old too.  Not my proudest moments, let me tell you.  Then this week I read this by Hands Free Mama and cried buckets. It was as if she had looked in my heart and head and wrote my life.  I'm not proud, but now I am aware, and now I'm on a movement to change directions.  Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes you can see one when you look in the mirror.  How my heart has changed, and it only took a few lines of her post!

I made my kid take this picture after her Christmas program that she basically cried through.  She got through the first part, and by the end didn't look on the verge anymore.  I was asked a few times if I should get her, but I didn't.  Even though I wanted to.  She made it and when I went to get her after her performance she was really ticked that she couldn't see me in the audience. Oops.

I let this kid stay home today.  Because today was her school's Christmas program.  The one that has been causing an endless stream of tears for three weeks.  The music program and song that she has been losing sleep over and making her self have stomach aches with anxiety.  So last week I spoke to her teacher and her school's vice principal and said we wouldn't be in school that day. So we cut school today.  We went shopping, we made cookies, we did our homework, and now we are watching Tangled.  I know, as a mother I'm supposed to teach my girls to do "the hard stuff".  The stuff that scares them, the stuff that challenges them.  But this "hard" thing is still a mystery to us, and until we get some answers, this seemed the best and easiest solution for now.  

I also wore the same shirt as my daughter to our Girl Scout meeting.  That's just for general info.  I kind of did that ensemble I put together.  In my former life I was all about fashion.  Today I'm all about what fits in my closet!

Also this.  Yeah I sort of bad mouthed a company on Twitter.  I tend to fly of the handle when I'm mad.  This wasn't my only tweet and as the tweets flowed so did the eff bombs.  My apologies.  They did respond back to me and my blog post.  More on that next week.  Promise.

I'm wearing the crap out of this cardigan I got at Kiki LaRue.  Sorry and not sorry about it's overgramming.  It's so warm.  And no, they are not paying me to say that!  I bought that with some pocket change... rough translation the Hubbs' Discover card.  Oh, hey Honey, I bought this.  Thanks and Merry Christmas to me... Right?

I wish y'all lived close.  I'd love to have you over for some beverages.  Or some food.  Or meet you at Target to talk and shop.  I'd love to sit with you and talk.  Because that's what I do, I talk.  And hopefully you would listen, and somewhere in the middle of all my talking, tell me to shut the hell up so you could talk.  

Linking up with Rags to Stitches and Life Rearranged


  1. I would totally sit and chat with you. And laugh until I cried...which wouldn't take long. I find you hysterical, Megan! Your "imperfections" are what make you a perfect human being to me. I suck at schedules with Louis, sometimes I let him eat horrible shit just so he'll eat SOMETHING and my house is a disaster. Your "mommy blog" is the only one I really enjoy reading because you're not trying to make your life look any different than it is: real. A little messy, frustrating, funny, loveable, amazing and sometimes tough.

    Happy Friday, my dear!

  2. At least that company rectified the situation! That's great!! Also...I tend to get a bit sasquatchy in winter when it comes to my legs. And I notice it when I am stretching at the gym. Whoops. Not pretty.

  3. My computer just went spastic and exited out but I opened your page back up just so I could comment. Good for you for letting her skip school. That girl will have enough hard shit to deal with in her life. She needs to know that you have her back. She'll have life to teach her that you will have to do the "hard stuff". That was suppose to be fun and if it wasn't going to be fun for her then she shouldn't do it.
    Totally off topic but if you get a chance the book The Husband's Secret is really good. I'm in the middle of it now and I'm loving it. It is $5.99 on the Kindle. Just throwing that out there.

  4. You have no idea how bad I wish I lived near you, or at least in the same country right now! Girl. You like to talk, I like to listen. Perfect combo! Good for you for giving her the day off. I totally would have too. And the fighting, yep, Mia and I all over sometimes. We are so much the same that we but heads. All.the.time trying so hard to be the adult when my inner child just wants to keep arguing! Hugs mama xo

  5. Man wish we were neighbors! Yay for a fun day together! Love that cardigan. Shaving legs? Ain't nobody got time for that.