We don't get to pick our families. Somehow the universe just knows exactly what you need. As if God knew I needed to be challenged daily. He knew I needed laughter and joy, drama and tears. He knew I needed to grow into this life to appreciate it for all it's worth.
The days are long, sometimes so very long. The nights are always too short. But when I wake every morning I know this is exactly where I need to be. That this is exactly what I should be doing. Because every time I second guess, question myself and this path, I remember that it's not the one I chose, it's the one that chose me.
I was supposed to meet that guy, that night, at that party I didn't want to go to. We were supposed to battle it out on the dating front, to make mistakes and be forgiven for them. We were supposed to wait until we had grown up a little to get married, and grow a little more before we had a family. I was always going to get a challenging first baby. To make sure I could survive almost anything. To teach me lessons I could never learn in the classroom or in the workforce. To show me that I had it in me to be a good parent, a good mom, and a good person. I was supposed to have a second baby, even if I wasn't sure. It was always in my cards to rediscover motherhood, with different eyes, and a different heart. I was always going to get here, even if the journey was bumpy, even if I fell into some pot holes, even if I wanted to turn tail a time or two.
For so long, I wanted tomorrow. Because tomorrow was better and new, tomorrow held better promises. Now I know that today is what matters. Squeezing out every single piece of today. Enjoying every small victory, and putting the missteps behind me. Because this is exactly where I'm supposed to be, with these freaks.