Regrets {I have a few}
I transferred all my iPhone pictures to my PC over the weekend. For fun, I started shuffling threw a few that I had downloaded a few months ago. It was then that I came across a few Instagram photos that I'm not proud of. I'm even embarrassed by them. It was from a time that I may not have handled myself in the most graceful way. It got me thinking about regret. Sometimes when we are in the thick of "it", we are blind to see consequences. We are blind to the second side of the story. We are blinded by our own pain, our own anger, and by our own self importance. Regret, can sometimes cut you to your core.
Then I started thinking about regrets in general. The time I should have done "B" instead of "A". The friendships I just let wither on the vine, without explanation. The instances when I should have exercised caution or held my tongue. All tinged with regret.
When I was at Elevate in May, I asked a more experienced blogger how I should deal with my first real blogging regret. It's not that I think what I did was wrong, it's that I feel like I should have handled it better. Of course when I approached her, she wanted some back story. I was happy to oblige, but I was sincere and honest about my regret. Do I got back now and handle it? Do I send an apology for acting like a fool? Do I publicly handle it on my blog? What she told me spoke volumes about the type of blogger she is. She told me to let it go. She said to rehash now would just open old wounds.
But she noticed that I was still holding out for an action. Something I could do to be honest with myself. She suggested that I write about it. It's taken me this long to find the words. To really understand that I was wrong in my actions, but not my feelings. It's really hard to separate the two. How many times to we regret something, but for the wrong reasons? I've been thinking and thinking how I could have approached my pain and disappointment differently. I've come to find that maybe there wasn't a way. Maybe the way I handled myself was the best way I knew how at the time.
I think that's the issue with regrets. When you look back on any regret after a year, don't you see that regret in a different light? A year changes a lot of things. Maybe we are wiser, maybe we are clearer, maybe we have less pain or more confidence in a situation. Whatever the reason, regrets pop up because we now realize a flip side to the situation.
I'm working on identifying my regrets. There are a million and one quotes on Pinterest about how we should never have regret, how we should live, take chances, even speak up, loudly if necessary. Yet, those quotes are there to pin, because sadly we may always have a regret. Big or little, hopeless, or hopeful; regret may just be what changes us as we go along.
Regrets, I have a few.
And thankfully, they teach me something new every time.
Linking up with Amanda for Desire to Inspire
