Who sits at the cool kids table?

Last week there was a pretty good conversation going on between bloggers.  These were bloggers of all different content, walks of life, and size.  Some of us have very successful blogs with pretty big numbers under our "followers" header.  Others are little bloggers that can, and do with what they have and who they know.   Some how we all had the same questions:
What constitutes a popular blog?   Are people still reading? Why do some blogs get more comments than others? And so on...
I've been blogging for the better part of two years.  When I started I knew nothing of the blogging world.  I didn't know what a button was, that there was a blogging community, that people could make money blogging.  It wasn't until I stumbled upon a few blogs that I figured out, there was a real community here.  There were real ways to make money.  There were real ways to make friends.  And there were real ways to feel like you were in high school all over again.
In the two years since I started this blog, I have gone from one extreme to another.  I have been the blogger with 4 followers, three of them friends or family, with the standard "blogger" template, sharing my posts on my Facebook wall.  I have been the blogger who went all out with a button, some money to buy ads, gift cards to giveaway, and link ups to join.  I have been the blogger who agonized over another bloggers success at reaching 1000 followers before me.  I have been the blogger jealous over link ups and parties hosted by others.  I have been the blogger who cared more about sponsorships and giveaway, and less about content and readers.  I have done it all.
And in case you were wondering I have the same amount of "followers" I had a year ago.
I think it's because a year ago I decided that I couldn't keep up with the Jones'.  I couldn't kill myself daily to try and keep up with the kids at the cool table.  If I'm being honest with myself, I wasn't anywhere near the cool kids table.  I just thought I was.
Does it matter that one blogger has 3000 followers on Instagram and Bloglovin?  Not really.  Does it matter that someone gets a million hits a month?  Not unless you are trying to make a living on your blog.  If you are making a living on your blog good for you.  It's hard work, and I understand.  But the time, work, and effort it takes to maintain a "popular", "cool kids table", "must follow" blog, isn't my cup of tea.  I ain't got time for that.  I barely had time to write this post.
In the last year my sponsorships have dropped.  I've changed my ad shop and not many people buy.  I haven't bought an ad since February.  I have been relying on swaps with my friends.  More importantly I have been relying on my content.  Sure I do the occasional paid post, to promote something I really do like, but mostly it's just me and my blog.  Just like in it's infancy.  And I'm ok with that.  I'm working on my writing.  It's why I started blogging in the first place.  I also like to blog about what I want.  Am I a lifestyle blog?  Only if the life style is lazy.  Am I a mommy blog?  Only if the mommies are crazy, exhausted, and parent with chocolate.  Spending my time trying to be something I'm not, trying to keep up with what I think people want to read got me no where.  
Back to the tweets of the previous week.  We all agreed on one thing.  Good solid content is hard work.  If you are a blogger then you know this to be true.  Every time you sit down and type your heart out, you understand that original content is about the hardest thing.  Especially under pressure or on the spot.  Many bloggers understand the blood, sweat, and tears that go into publishing good content five days a week.  I try to publish five days a week, and I will be the first to admit that the content isn't always my best.
Sure some blogs may get 80 comments a post, others may get three.  I can say from personal experience that I love all comments.  Even the bad ones.  Even the ones that make me cringe.  And if you are wondering I do read them all, and try to respond to them all, but some days...  I think the same may go for blog readers.  I've noticed that on days where traffic is high, sometimes the comments are nil.   Maybe readers aren't commenting.  Maybe they have nothing to say.   Maybe they are just as busy as the blogger writing the post.
One thing that really hit me after this conversation on Twitter was the fact that I haven't been reading as many of my "favorites" either.  I've had a jam packed summer.  I have a hard time getting to my laptop and when I do it's for posts only.  My email inbox is out of control.  I check it daily, but only respond to urgent messages.  Sad and pathetic right?  But, what's more pathetic is that I expect readers to read my blog when I'm not reading any either.  So Sunday, after I wrote yesterdays post, I went into my blog roll, and read 4 blogs I hadn't visited in awhile.  Then I looked in my blog roll and read a few more, commenting each time.  Because I'm a blogger and I know that comments are more about feed back and confirmation than they are about popularity.
I'm happy to be the blogger that I am.  With wonderful readers and really awesome blogging friends.  The friends that I have made blogging have really helped me grow my blog.  It's the support of my readers who leave great comments that confirm I'm doing the right thing, by doing it my way.  I'm not saying that I won't sponsor another blog, or host another giveaway.  I know I will.  What I'm saying is that blogging is almost fly by night.  New blogs pop up daily, current blogs change focus, old blogs close up shop.  Blogging is dynamic.  The important thing is to feel good about the blog you are writing.  Because you are the most important part of your blog, not the cool kids.    They probably don't even read your blog.