Quite Time {Life Lately}
I've been quiet.
I'm going to say it's been about reflecting.
Yes, more reflecting and less lazy.
I'll admit, NYE and NYD were pretty low key.
It was nice to be lazy.
You know the stay in your PJs all day kind of lazy.
So I've been quiet.
Soaking in the last few moments before the back to school rush.
School drop off and pick up.
Dance class starts again.
Life starts again.
There is another reason I been so quiet though.
I'm having a mammogram on Wednesday.
I'll give it to you straight, since I hate, like H-A-T-E,
vague and mysterious Facebook posts.
You know the ones, "Help me Jesus", "Prayers Needed",
"I'm just in a bad place right now".
I hate those, so here's the story:
I have a bump on my boob.
Not a lump, but a bump.
It's hard, like a seed (nurse practitioner voice).
When it popped up 4 weeks ago, it appeared to be a pimple.
Ok, a pimple.
So of course I looked it up on wikipedia, and found out I was dying.
I ignored both the bump and wikki.
By Christmas it wasn't as red, or painful, but still there.
So I thought maybe I should ask my OBGYN.
I made a note to call.
The day after Christmas I was forced to call since every
movement made my whole boob hurt.
My armpit too.
My appointment was Friday.
The NP did my breast exam and asked me tons of questions.
Which is completely awkward.
Making eye contact with someone while they "examine" your boobs.
Having a full on convo while topless.
Awkward.
Here are some terms that were thrown out.
"thickening of the tissue", "fibrous", "seed like mass", "diagnostic",
"mammogram", "cysts", "ultrasound".
My head spun.
I get it.
I know I'm not the first person to have a mammogram.
Or have found something abnormal on their boobs.
But I'd be a big liar if I said I wasn't a little nervous.
Or a lot nervous.
Friday night I wrote the longest, most dramatic, post ever
written on this blog.
Thank God, the hubbs had me wait to publish it.
It was just for me.
To get me to here.
So I could share this with you in a sane and calm voice.
Instead of Hot Mess Hattie.
My last post was titled "A rock and a Freak out".
That's how I felt.
Caught between the two.
I cried for a bit.
On and off all day.
To get it out.
So I could move on.
Today I was just quiet.
Quietly thinking about the bump.
Quietly thinking about what to make for dinner.
Quietly thinking about just being here.
Right here.
Between a question and an answer.
Linking up with Alli
