Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting {Co-Sleeping}


I woke up Sunday with two extra people in my bed.  No this wasn't a keg party gone awry.  This was the life of a mom.  In a former life I was afraid to admit that we co-sleep.  Not all the time, not consistently anymore, because let's face it, when it comes to motherhood I'm rarely consistent.  But Sunday I was content with the four of us in our California King.  I'm sure the Hubbs wasn't super excited about holding on the the edge, but really, it's kind of nice to wake up with your little ones snuggling you... Or in my case a foot at my throat and an elbow in my ribs.

I used to think that co-sleeping was the underbelly of motherhood.  The black market to get your sleeping fix.  As a bleary eyed mother of a six month old who slept fine in my arms, but woke the moment I laid her down, I was scared to admit that we were sleeping on the couch every night.  I hated answering the question, "does she sleep through the night?", because the truth was, she in fact did, with me.  Then I got some sound and sage advice from my Best Friend.  She said that momma needs sleep, period.  And it's no one's business how you get that sleep.  Well Amen to that.

But that was then, almost 6 years ago, when admitting that you formula fed and co-slept landed you in "Worst Mother of the Year" territory.  Now, for me anyway, with the introduction to the blogging world, the acceptance of attachment parenting, and well me no longer giving an eff, co-sleeping is no longer a big deal.  

Try as we might to make those babies (at 3 and 5 years old respectively) sleep in their own beds, sometimes I'm just too tired to enforce the rules.  Like most of my parenting rules, they are dependent on how tired or irritated I am.  I can say that now and not be afraid of the back lash.  I'm happy for mommies and daddies out there that have kids that want to sleep in their own beds, who beg to go to bed, or whose kids actually fall asleep in random places and sleep like the dead.  That is not the case in my house.  And that's OK, because we make it work.  And when I say we make it work, sometimes we play musical beds.

It's happened that the Hubbs and I start out in our bed, then one little comes in and one of us moves to their bed, then another little comes in.  Sometimes we don't wake in the same place we laid our heads.  It's fine.  Everyone needs a break in the monotony.  

I know what you are thinking, let them cry it out.  Enforce the rules.  Don't be so lazy.  You are right about all of those things.  Except, with motherhood, I've learned that nothing lasts forever.  One day you wake up and the formula is gone, then the bottles, then the diapers, and then the potty chair is put away because a toilet is all you need.  One day you wake up and there is a schedule to follow, school to attend, and play dates to make.  One day you wake up, in your bed alone, and while it's a relief, it's also kind of sad.  The snuggle of your littles doesn't last forever.  Nothing does.

Say what you will, love me or hate me for it, co-sleeping, occasionally doesn't bother me or embarrass me anymore.  I know that the day will come when my girls will not look to me for comfort in the middle of the night.  They won't need me to reassure them that there are no monsters in the closet, or someone at the door.  One day they will sleep deeper and not wake at every sound looking for mommy's arms to escort them back to dreamland.  I know that waking up on Sunday with a bed full of the people I love is very, very short lived.  

I read an article once about Brad and Angelina.  It said that they had a 7 foot by 7 foot bed made because all their children wanted to sleep in their bed.  My first reaction was GENIUS, and my second was THANK YOU.  Because if the Jolie-Pitts, who can afford to hire the experts to ferberize their kids, would rather get a huge bed so accommodate everyone, I must be doing alright over here.  So for now, I'll be kung-fu fighting with the best of them.

14 comments:

  1. I miss those days .... now my kids are too big to fit into our bed with us. But during the winter I was home alone with the kids and just could not get warm enough. So I went and got into bed with them. Yip, my kids often share Cat's double bed.

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  2. Baby E is asleep in my bed right now, actually. And do you know why? Because that's the only place she'd sleep. And I was tired. And her being in bed next to me is the greatest feeling in the world. And before I know it, she'll be Logan's size and won't need to sleep with me, nor will she fit. So, we co-slept. like. a. boss. =)

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  3. I have absolutely no problem with my kid sleeping in bed with me... as long as she sleeps! Sometimes she wakes up at 4am and it's party time, and she's climbing the headboard. Toddlers, right? But I enjoy co-sleeping and having little baby snuggles. I also enjoy my space. So either way works for me.

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  4. I co-sleep as well, and have also had that guilty feeling. People have called me naughty or said bad mommy or that I'm in trouble. But the thing is, everyone's different!!What works just works! I love cuddling with my little girl! And I also know I'm gonna miss it some day when she wants to be a big girl in her own bed. So I'm a co-sleeper and proud of it! Thank you for the positive reinforcement! Lol now I just need to Hope we can get a bigger bed soon!

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  5. I co-sleep as well, and have also had that guilty feeling. People have called me naughty or said bad mommy or that I'm in trouble. But the thing is, everyone's different!!What works just works! I love cuddling with my little girl! And I also know I'm gonna miss it some day when she wants to be a big girl in her own bed. So I'm a co-sleeper and proud of it! Thank you for the positive reinforcement! Lol now I just need to Hope we can get a bigger bed soon!

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  6. Everly has slept in bed since the day I brought her home from the hospital. People tell me I should move her to the crib but I say no! I'm selfish, I love having my little girl with me.

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  7. I could just picture the scene you describe with an elbow in your ribs and your husband hanging on tight to stay in bed. Funny! Thanks for sharing what works for you. Obviously, every family has their own methods for getting zzz's and it's great you found yours.

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  8. I swear with every post you write, I'm more & more positive we would be BFFs in real life. We co-sleep when the kids don't want to sleep in their beds & we've been doing that since they were babies!

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  9. Thank you thank you thank you for this post! There is nothing better than waking up with - to use your words - a bed full of the people you love. Snuggling = bonding and is WAY more important than making your child sleep in his/her own bed. That time is priceless. And I don't know about anyone else, but I sleep better when my kids are in my bed.

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  10. well said! Just catching up with your blog and still LOVE it!!!

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  11. Sounds exactly like the nights and mornings in our house!! I firmly believe that you "gotta do what ya gotta do" to get sleep. :)

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  12. I totally agree! Thank you for this post. We co-sleep and it's something I hardly ever admit to anyone.

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  13. My lil man is soundly asleep in my bed right now cause that's what he likes and as for crying it out http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out .....I believe that is way more unhealthy than letting your little one become comfortable with where they are and who they are :) Love that your a mom who is comfortable with who she is :)

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  14. I coslept with both my littles as babies.They're now 11 and 6 and every now and then I still end up with one or both in my bed. They both slept through the night that way, when they wouldn't anywhere else. I always told anyone who gave me crap for it unless they were going to come sit with them so I could sleep like I did with them in my bed not to worry about my parenting choices and I hadn't asked for their advice to begin with. Harsh maybe but no one has the right to make anyone else feel for their decisions, especially when those decisions don't affect them in anyway.

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