Milestones

In my early days of motherhood, milestones were like Olympic medals.  It seemed as if every day, from the very beginning, we were in a race to complete and conquer each milestone.  From breastfeeding to sleeping in the crib, to solid foods, to bottle weaning.  Milestones were not only a hard ran race, but they were also highly competitive in mommy circles.  What I didn't realize then was that the milestones slow down.  They almost come to a halt.  And while your child is still growing and maturing, they are not conquering life at the same pace as they used to.  They may begin to read.  They may recite and sing Taylor Swift songs.  They may even dance their heart out at their dance recitals.  But the big ones...  The first big ones, like first steps, first time on the potty, or first day of kindergarten, those all sadly come too quickly and fade too fast.  
That brings me to one of our last big firsts.
Last Friday night Caitlin lost her first tooth.

I should say that she pulled out her first loose tooth, because that is exactly what she did.  It was funny and sad and bittersweet all at the same time.  She had been begging me and the Hubbs to pull it out, at a constant rate for almost an hour.  The begging and pleading, and we of course refused.  First because, we didn't think it was quite ready, and two, we knew without a doubt it would bleed, and she would loose her proverbial sh%t.  So we told her to be patient and work it with her tongue.  Well that wasn't good enough for her, because within the hour, she pulled that puppy right out.
"Mom, Mom, MOM!", she screamed.  "I pulled out my tooth!!!  I really did it!!!".  Then with fear in her voice, "Is it BLEEDING???!".
It was, and of course I told her it would be ok, we just had to rinse out her mouth.  And she was trying so hard not to cry, but a few tears escaped, and a few of mine too.  This was one of the last milestones for this child for awhile.  Loosing a tooth is the last in a long line of milestones.  As I watched her rinse her mouth, and cup the tiniest tooth I have ever seen in my life, my heart hurt a little.  It took me back to a cold January night close to six years ago, when an infant Caitlin cried and carried on.  A baby who was just inconsolable.  With parents who were total rookies.  And before we could really panic, there were 2 perfect little white mounds on puffy, pink, bloody gums.  That night seemed so long ago in comparison.  Here I was with my almost six year old and her tooth, the one it seemed she just cut yesterday, in the palm of her little girl hand.

Like with everything in this house, we were not quite prepared for the Tooth Fairy.  I had been browsing Pinterest for weeks for a tooth pillow.  Still hadn't made one.  No big deal right?  Felt, glue gun, and some old buttons, we got a pretty hip tooth pillow for my big girl.  The Monster High theme was her idea, of course.  There is nothing like hot gluing a tooth pillow at 10 on a Friday night to confirm that you are indeed a mother.  And not just any mother, but that mother, who despite your best efforts, still doesn't have it together all the time.  Yet, like with all things I've learned as a mom, it all worked out fine.  

I think it's funny that my girl was concerned with getting her picture on Facebook.  She wanted to make sure that we told everyone!  I also thought it was great that she was worried that the Tooth Fairy would not know she lost her tooth.  Mom it's so late, how will she know.  I told her that the Tooth Fairy is on Facebook, and she checks all the posts that use the words "lost tooth" or "tooth fairy".  That's how she knows when kids loose their teeth.  It worked.  We made sure to post extra pictures too just in case.
No one can really prepare you for motherhood.  No one will ever really know what will cut your mothering heart to it's core.  Sometimes it's a lullaby long forgotten.  Maybe a misplaced lovey at the bottom of a closet.  Or maybe it's just a memory, so long ago, that makes you think back to a time you just wanted to get through, and never really thought about savoring.  
Not this time.  With this milestone, we took it all in.
And I was finally at a place that I could enjoy every single minute of it.