No f**ks left to give...

And not a single fck was given that day
source via Pinterest
I'm sure I've already offended you.  Sorry, I'm not sorry.  Today I posted the following status on Facebook:
That said here is where I stand.  My mom was hospitalized for heat exhaustion, dehydration, and a sinus infection not once, but twice over the weekend.  One of those times I had to call an ambulance for her, the second time I was at Whole Foods and just made it home before my car died.  What's that you say?  Yes, I'll repeat that for you.  My.  Car.  Died.  Thankfully it was in the driveway of my own home.  Of course with all my keen organization skills I was able to find the spare keys to John's car in 45 minutes or less.  Because as I was home dropping off my whole foods haul, and he was at my mom's swimming, with his phone in the house while my mom was at the ER.  That was my Sunday people.
Yesterday, was a Monday to shame all other Mondays.  You see, my mom takes care of my kids in the afternoon.  So, I had to work it out with my MIL, so she could stay until 12, so I could work 5 hours and then rush home, to get lunch and Caitlin to a hair appointment for her dance recital rehearsal.  It was just stacking up to be that kind of day.  Also add in the fact that my mom is still feeling terrible, that I may or may not have to find alternative child care, and then add in the $240 it requires to attend a dance recital successfully.  Ok so it's not $240, but I had to write 3 different checks, swipe my card twice, and count quarters for pictures, hair, make up and late dues.  Again, a Monday to shame many previous Mondays.
That brings me to today.  I'm tired from my 4:30 am wake up call.  My roots are showing their age, which apparently is 85, and my kids once again ate McDonalds.  Add to that the pint of coconut milk ice cream I devoured at the counter while checking Instagram, the Jillian Michaels DVD calling me a fat ass from the entertainment center, and a house that looks like a tornado hit it. 
You want to know what I did?
I laid my ass on the couch.  Shoes off, decorative pillows at the ready.  I turned on Big Bang Theory for my kids.  Yes, I sure did.  And I closed my eyes and tried in vain to take a nap.  It was a joke but I tried.  It was then that I realized I'm all out of F**KS to give.
Smashed cereal in the floor - zero F**ks to give.
Clean Laundry piled higher than me - zero0 F**ks to give.
Kids that need a bath - zero F**ks to give.
To do lists from last week - zero F**ks to give.
Birthday party invites to mail - zero F**ks to give.
Maybe tomorrow I'll find some to give.
But right now, I seriously doubt it.


  1. With a week like that, it isn't surprising you are out of f**ks to give. All of that stuff - laundry, baths, messy floors - will wait until another day. Taking care of you is the most important thing, so that you are able to take care of the people who depend on you. I hope your mom feels better quickly, and your child care situation works out.

  2. You poor woman! Screw the house and bathing the kids, the house will survive and the kids will live, as long as you feed them, even if it is MD's again.

    Good luck! Hope your mom feels better soon and your life turns back way round! or should that be right way back

  3. You know what I say? Fuck the fucks. Who needs em anyway?! Love you boo.

  4. You poor girl!! Sounds like a horrible start to the week! Here's to better days! Xoxo

  5. Sounds like you needed that coco milk ice cream!! Hope it gets better as the week goes on...

  6. The best blog post I have ever read from anyone.


    I would have been having some hard liquor instead of coconut milk.

  8. Your post made my day! The last few days have been shit and I appreciate your humor...

  9. I know u might not feel like it but ure an effin rockstar! You gotta do what u gotta do! Sorry to hear about your mama :( hugs and prayers ure way! Now go make the rest of this week ure bish! Love ya! If I can lend an ear u know where to find me ;)

  10. Oh Megan. Sometimes we just have sh*t weeks don't we? I'm really hoping that your mama is feeling well again and that this week is much kinder to you. And, if we lived near each other I'd be right there to help, cause I could totally do the recital hair & clean your house. haha! ;) Hope that this Monday isn't straight from hell. ;)