Gone Fishing...

Just a short post to say that Dirty Secret Saturday is taking a break until August 25th.  Me, Lena, and Chrissy have "gone fishing" for the summer.  In other words, we are enjoying summer away from the PC as much as possible.  So save some of those secrets in your back pockets and be ready to bring them out in August.

I'll be co-hosting Looking Back link-up again tomorrow.  Be sure to stop by and see me in all my 1985 glory, like short hair and huge glasses, and come to think of it, HUGE TEETH!  What is it about huge teeth in grade schoolers?  Don't forget that there are some fabulous gals co-hosting with me!!

Also before we close June, let's talk about my lovely and beautiful swaps.  Don't think for one minute that I don't love you... Contrary to popular belief, swaps are what make the bloggy world go round, well at least mine anyway!  Thanks for having my back and helping promote this blog. 

So I wonder what I going to do for the rest of the day... I mean with Instagram out and all... How am I supposed to finish #photoadayjune?  Blogger problems, right? 

Can I sleep now? {My week in Instagram}

Do you ever have one of those months that is over in a blink?  That is June for me.  June just flew on by.  So much of it has been a blur, so I'm glad I keep my iPhone next to me at all times so I wont miss it.  Why does it seem so crazy that next week is the 4th of July?  JULY people!!


Ok, so now you understand the title.  Life has been way too much fun to be behind the blog.  So I've been burning the midnight oil and staying up way past my bedtime.  I know lots of you bloggers out there do it.  How on earth do you make it?  I'm exhausted!  So really can I sleep now?


Ok, fine.  I'll postpone this nap until I'm finished with this week's Instagrams.  This week was AMAZING!  My baby girl Caity turned five.  FIVE!  We've had some great weather in Fresno, dare I say I wore jeans???  And to sum it up, my kids are crazy wild animals who like to terrorize people in restaurants... Life as usual right?

Here are the crazy loons.

They took Panera by storm last Friday!

In this picture they took a break from climbing the booth,

and decided to show off their apples.

Nice.

They also whooped and hollered and laughed hysterically.

And so we were those lovely folks in a restaurant.

And did I pull out my best "listen to your mother" voice?

No I took some pictures with my phone.

Sorry if you were dining there last Friday.

Did I mention my week was crazy.

Let's just say we had a kid party on Saturday,

and a family party on Sunday.

#1So while I made 24 cupcakes and one cake,

my kids had a cupcake party of their own.

Who knew baggies of frosting could be so much fun!

#2 And since I was busy making cakes this was dinner.

I swear my kids will eat anything on a stick or in a cupcake liner.

#3 Yeah, shameless plug on Instagram.

#4 Fancy dresses for the kiddo party, and I'm going to brag a little here.

I made Caitlin's. Possible tutorial to follow.

#5 Family party was a swim party.

New bikini + Ariel crown = Happy Princess.

#6 Still not sure fedoras are for me.

So glad it was $9.99 at Target.

The highlight of the week was this gal's 5th birthday.

I did a lot of reflecting this week.

I must say, five looks good on both mamma and little lady.

#1 Panera date with her Godmother.

Such a big girl right?

#2 Ice cream out front with neighbors and friends.

This on top of the donuts in class, the big flower cookie at Panera,

and the Saturday and Sunday cakes and cupcakes.

Whose counting?

#3 & #4 Sparklers by request.

I guess she wanted to add some flair to being 5.

Plus all the neighbor kids had fun too!

I have to say that Tuesday was an excellent day all around.

It reminded me of what a blessing this life really is.

Let's not forget little Miss Mac.

She's always ready to par-TEEE!

I love her ice cream face, not a care in the world!

She liked the sparklers too, after we got over trying to grab the flame...

So here she is pointing at the moon, saying

"moon mama! moon".

But John had an even better caption,

"Is that her patronus?".

That's why he's the love of my life,

comments like that.

We also said goodbye to preschool yesterday.

Talk about bittersweet.

Two strangers took one very shy and timid child,

and transformed her into a bright, sassy, kindergartner.

I am forever grateful for the memories of this last year.

I can't believe that I won't see these two beautiful ladies every morning.

So absolutely bittersweet!

Was this past week eventful?

Yes.

Wanna know what I'm doing today besides publishing this post?

Nada!

Can I sleep now?

My labor of love

Five years ago, I woke up and knew my life would be changing in the greatest way.  I was nervous and cried as I made my morning trip to the bathroom.  I looked in the mirror at the pregnant Megan, and said goodbye, as the next time I looked into this mirror, I'd be a mother.  Caitlin's mother... And so it began, my labor of love.


It was a Tuesday, just like today, and I was on my way to lie to the labor and delivery triage nurse that my water had broke.  It was a master plan hatched by my exhausted OBGYN, who had tried to solidify not one, but three due dates.  Caitlin surpassed them all.  Like everything that has happend with her since that Tuesday, she does what she wants when she is ready.  Why would her birth be any different?  So the plan was, another trip to the hospital, a little white lie, and the promise that when he arrived, he would break my water and they would have to admit me at his orders.  Still I was nervous.  My induction had been cancelled the Friday before, and I was heartbroken and disapointed. I was still nervous that today wouldn't be the day.


I remember I had this little cramp, real low in my abdomen.  Like a period cramp, not at all painful, just annoying.  I had been reassured that this was not a contraction, just some stretching.  My entire pregnancy I was convinced that I was going to be that lady who has her kid on the bathroom floor or in the toilet, because I wouldn't know labor when I was upon it.  So here I was, at 6:30 in the morning, waddling my way to the car, husband wheeling the bag, me gripping the boppy, excited and hopeful of the day to come.  I remember looking at him and saying "This is it" and he said "It's too late to turn back right?".  And we laughed.


Into the ER we went, lying through our teeth, and getting a free pass to triage.  I told the triage nurse that I wasn't sure if my water had broken, but since I was well past my last June 19th due date I wanted to be sure.  She was very reassuring, saying that first time deliveries were always a mystery while hooking me up to monitors.  Let's see what's happening here, she said.  Well, the joke was on me and my naieve interpretation of contractions.  The little annoying cramps were indeed contractions, and were now 8 minutes apart.  The nurse even laughed when she said, well your water isn't broken but you're in labor dear.  Gown on, insert IV, wheeled to a birthing room.  Into my labor of love.


This was it.  I was in a birthing room.  Surrounded by monitors, and beeps and whooshing sounds.  I was in a bed, I was in labor, I was going to finally meet my daughter.  I felt great, until my Doc came and broke my water.  As a side note, I had been telling John that the "pressure" was killing me and that I just knew if my water broke I would feel amazing.  Well for a split second I did feel amazing, and then I felt like my body was ripping in two.


I was so scared, and started telling John I wanted to go home.  Please take me home, I don't want to do this, I can't do this.  He said I could and I would, because Caitlin was finally coming and I didn't want to have her in the toilet, right?  So I told my nurse my pain threshold was at a 100,000 on a scale of 1 to 10, and to please give me the good drugs now, because I couldn't do this and wouldn't do this with out the drugs!!


So I got the drugs.  And they were good.  Then time sped up.  Water broken at 1:15pm, epidural at 2:15pm, fully dialated at 3:15pm.  Not what you'd expect with a first baby.  Not at all, but here I was, resting, if not shaking and itching from an epidural, and ready for the next big thing.  Which was pushing.


I pushed.  For a time I will not mention as you just might stop reading.  I will say that the crowning portion was the worst and that when I was told to stop pushing my body took over and out she came.  Not a typical first birth, but nothing about me, motherhood and Caitlin has been typical.


At 4:17pm I went from Megan to Mom.  She was here.  A tiny 6lb, 7oz, being that I grew.  How did we go from being in my belly to in my arms?  Surreal is not even a good description.  I didn't cry, I didn't laugh, I don't think I felt anything at all.  It was like watching someone else's baby get cleaned up.  How on earth is this MY baby?  What do you mean I'm a mother?  I can barely take care of myself.  Doesn't the universe realize how completely self centered I am? 

Then she was on my chest.  So tiny and warm, eyes adjusting to the light, and then her cry.  Her high pitched, mouth wide cry.  And my heart was no longer mine.  It was hers.  Suddenly my life's mission was to make it all better.  No matter what "it all" was.  My labor of love took on a new life at a new speed.


I wish I could say that the last 5 years have been as easy as my labor and delivery.  I wish I could tell you that I was blissful and magically happy.  I wish I could tell you that I handled every struggle with grace, and every milestone with tears of joy.  But I can't.  I can't tell you any of those things. 


I can tell you that no matter how I felt about myself, I loved Caitlin so fiercely that it hurt my core.  That I'd lay awake at night and watch her sleep, afraid that some greater source would realize I sucked at motherhood and take her away.  I will tell you that I convinced myself that if I could just make it to (enter milestone here) that it would be ok, it would be enough. 

I can honestly say that even though it was hard, and heartbreaking, I'd do it all again today.  Just like I did five years ago.  And I'd change nothing about our journey from birth to five years.


Today Cailtin turns 5.  She is every bit of 5 as one can imagine.  Sassy and spirited.  She has her momma's looks and her Daddy's personality.  She is stubborn about most everything, and loves unicorns and glitter.  She has also been a teacher.  She has taught me everything I needed to know about myself, about motherhood, and just how far I can skirt on the edge and still make it through. 


And so it continues, my labor of love...

This post was inspired by Bloom, by Kelle Hampton

you can buy the book here, or follow her here.

Today's post was sponsored by Stephany of Ol' Mother Hyder
check out her amazing bloggy and don't miss her



Enter here! and tell your friends!

The eve of something big

It's the eve of Caitlin's 5th birthday.  FIVE YEARS.  Is it over the top to say that it flew by?  It so totally did.  Five years of anything is a big deal, five years of marriage, the five years between 16 and 21.  So on the eve of what seems like a big deal, I'm reflecting. 

On motherhood and on me.

Caitlin in utero.

Five years ago today, I was fat, hot, and super preggo.  I was in pain, and peed every time I moved (tmi?).  I also was half way through a gallon of mint chocolate chip when I switched to rocky road.  I'm being super serious.  And I was so darn mad that this baby had missed all three of her due dates.

I was also naive.  Naive at the change that was about to happen.  That it wouldn't effect me so.  I was lost in a motherhood dream where I was blissful, on a cloud of happiness, with a child who slept and ate, and pooped perfectly.  Where everything was perfect.  Just like the books.

Five years ago it was still just me and the hubbs.  Watching Daniel Tosh, before he was Tosh.0.  Dropping "f" bombs about every little thing, like empty gallons of rocky road.  It was just the two of us, and a decked out pimped out nursery, a very expensive breast pump, and the hope that in the next month we'd get some sleep.

Five years ago, I didn't know this little person named Caitlin.  Who would challenge every fiber of my being from the moment she arrived.  I didn't know that she would have my hair and my eyes, but daddy's personality.  That she would hate to sleep, but love to be held.  Constantly.  I didn't know that she would challenge every rule of potty training, challenge every definition of motherhood, challenge every idea I had about love.

I had no idea that she would change me into a better person.  She would teach me everything I needed to know about being a mom.  That she would demand nothing more from me than love.  Just love. 

I didn't know that Caitlin would be one of my greatest collaborations, and assign me my hardest job to date. 

Five years ago I was just Megan, pregnant and waiting.

Today I'm mom, learning, loving, and living the best part of my life.



  Meet Joanna!  She blogs at Moda Mama.Follow Joanna's life and fashion diaries provingthat motherhood can be fashionable.

  

Dear Week, WHOA {Friday Letters in Instagram}

Dear week,

You blew me away. 

Things got REAL. 

And I've got pictures to prove it!

Dear Instagram,

Thanks for making this blurry photo awesome.

My best pic of the week.

Happy Father's Day indeed!

1

Dear PC,

We had some good times this week.

Thanks for letting me get it all out.

The emails are a little overwhelming.

See you Sunday.

2

Dear someecards.

Thanks for always describing how I feel.

How do you know?

source

3

Dear Mr. Sun,

I get it.

It's June, it's Fresno, it's hot.

You love me.

Awesome

4

One Oh Eight,

Besides the sunburn, you didn't ruin Father's Day.

I know you tried, but we got this!

Just don't get all One Fourteen on us, thanks...

5

Dear Tanned Butt,

You are the cutest!

You are so dark, don't you know Snookie's

baby is already jelly of you.

I love watching you splash in the pool.

Is it possible to get any darker?

6

Dear cuddly baby,

Love that you still want to crawl in my lap.

It's getting close to the time that this is going to go away.

I don't even mind the wet swim diaper on me

when you are too tired to change.

Don't stop wanting cuddles, that's an order!

1

Dear Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros,

I feel like I'm at a church revival picnic.

And I love every minute of it.

2

Dear sewing machine,

Show me a sign.

What is it exactly that I'm doing wrong?

Bobbin, check, threaded check, plugged in check.

Sew and rip seams, check.

Oh, "catch" the bobbin.

Got it.

3

Dear WIDN,

You are so fun, but seriously you always catch me doing this.

"This" being on Instagram instead of cleaning the mess I'm looking at.

Thanks for checking me, I'll clean it right after I take a picture of the mess,

post it on Instagram, hook it up to Twitter,

check Twitter to see if anyone relates,

and then double check Instagram for likes.

4

Dear Neon shorts,

I. Love. You.

5

Dear Grumpy,

I know it seems unfair, but you need sleep.

So be a dear, and close your eyes, and have sweet dreams.

It's late, and mommy has to blog...

6

Dear Readers,

Did you know that Hello Kitty fedoras are all the rage?

Well, they are.

Now you want one, am I right?

Dear Anonymous Commenter,

You are my first "Anonymous" commenter!

I feel like I should award you a prize.

Instead I'll immortalize you here.

You have already thanked me for making

you famous on Instagram.

Your welcome, but wouldn't that make me famous?

I'm just not that cool.

Dear Friends and Readers,

YOU ROCK MY BLOG!

DON'T FORGET THAT.

EVER!!

I'm linking up here.

You must check out these fabulous Friday lettters!!

AND

Wondering what to do with all your Instagram pics?

Check out my gal Sue at As It Seems.

Check out what she does with her Instagram pics!

What Caitlin Wore {The "Stylish"}

Most of the time getting Caitlin dressed is the biggest fight of the day.  Girlfriend has her own style.  At a week shy of 5 years old, she could in fact be the next Rachel Zoe.  I say that because she mixes prints like you see pinned on Pinterest.  She wears the oddest color combos, and yet pulls them off gloriously.  It's not uncommon to see her in a tutu and halter top, which by the way, why are we making halter tops in 5T? 


Anyway, Father's Day was no exception.  Let me start by saying that it was 109 degrees on Sunday.  One. Oh. Nine.  So right off the bat, I was pushing for a nice sundress, one of four hanging in her closet.  I was also pushing for it to be a fairly new one, since lately she wants to wear the ratty one, since the other nice ones are for "later".  "Later" is used quite loosely.  Since we were going to be swimming most of the day anyway, I just nodded in agreement to her fashion choices.  Here is what she picked out.

B&W Stripped Leggings - Target (part of a set)

Zebra Tank - Forever 21 (I'm in awe of the kids dept)

Red Butterfly Hat - Vendor at the Fresno Home & Garden Show

Purple Flippies - Old Navy (and too small)

Capri Sun - Vons

I've been told by a dearest Mommy friend, who has a 5 year old fashionista that this is normal behavior for a 5 year old.  However, we've been having this convo since the girls were 4.  I'm still adjusting to this kid, my kid, who is a super fashionista since I could not pay the girl to wear a dress the first 3 years of her life.  Sandals either.  Girlie wore Vans and leggings to pretty much everything.  Yet, now she tells me that when she grows up she wants to be the "Fashion outfit picker".  I told her that's called a "stylist", and so she now says she wants to be a "stylish". 

Looking for an awesome blog to read?

Look no further!

Lena at Mom 2 Memphis and Ruby is amazing.

Fashion, Photography, Family and more.

You can find her here

or HERE on her new Photography blog!

LunchBox Love {A Giveaway}

I was recently approached by Say Please.  Say Please sells card packs called "Lunchbox Love", little messages of encouragement with some humor added in for fun.
Here is what they have to say about themselves:

"The mission of Say Please is to improve the quality of everyday life

through the sharing of kind words.

Our core product is Lunchbox Love for Kids™

which are sets of small cards that parents put in their kids’ lunches each day.

On the front of the card is a thoughtful, loving message

and on the back of the card is fun trivia for kids.

We believe that a parent’s loving words are as essential to a child’s health

and hygiene as a nutritious meal,

and this conviction led to the creation of our company."

Not only that, but a portion of their profits go to The Lunchbox Fund.  The Lunchbox Fund is working hard to provide meals to at risk and disadvantaged youth in South Africa.  To read more about where they give click here.   


Since they were so kind in sending me my own set of Lunchbox Love for Kids, I'm looking forward to putting them in the goody bags I'm making up for Caitlin's birthday this weekend.  They are cute and colorful, and some of the trivia will be entertaining to the little folks.  Here's a picture taken from their website,
<><>

Lunchbox Love for Kids
sayplease.com

What I really love is that the Lunchbox Love doesn't end with the kiddos.  There is Lunchbox Love for Girlfriends, Loved Ones, and Co-workers.  These little cards could be dropped into someone's bag at the gym, handed to the Starbuck's cashier, or left with the tip at a restaurant.  Wouldn't it brighten your day to see this colorful card wishing you well? 


To sweeten this deal and to thank you for reading this promotional post, I'm going to giveaway two packs of Lunchbox Love.  One lucky winner will receive one Lunchbox Love vol. 2 and one Lunchbox Love for Camp.  I'm making this an easy peasy giveaway too.  All I ask is that you Tweet about this giveaway.  For an additional entry visit Say Please and comment on your favorite Lunchbox Love pack. 


Not to worry if your kiddo isn't old enough for school or camp.  The cards are pretty universal.  I'm going to sneak one into the hubby's laptop case.  It says "I love spending time with you", and on the flip side it says, "Did you know that the stomach has to produce a layer of mucus every two weeks..."  I know, I'm such a romantic.








a Rafflecopter giveaway

Beauty Box Swap {Want some?}

Do ya all know Tiffany?
No, well let's talk about her.
Not behind your back, it's so not like that!

Tiffany found me in the bloggy world, and little did we know...
We live in the same city.
Say what?
Yeah, so she wanted to meet up.
And I said, "Uh, yeah!"
So we did with some other Fresno Bloggers.
Seriously who knew there was such a thing!
And now I blog stalk, er, follow Tiffany everywhere.
Instagram, Twitter, Bloggy.

Tiffany is a girl after my heart, and
when we talked with Shabby Kitteh,
we all agreed on one thing.

Blog gift exchanges are the biz.
And so are beauty products.
Like mint polish that is sold out.
Or beachy wave spray.
Dry shampoo.
We all confessed a love for product.

So now what?
Beauty Box.
Full of things you may not know you want or need,
but you'll love because it will be tailored to you.

Let's hear what Tiffany has to say.
She is the mastermind behind this.
I'm just along for the ride.

Beauty Box .. Yep I said it. A BEAUTY BOX, SWAP!!!!! It's like a birchbox .. but I am going to go out on a limb & say it's even BETTER. When I met up with some local bloggies we were talking about swaps & hello genius let's do one of our own but make it specific to beauty products because what girl can say no to that?

I know this girl can't. 



Grab and share this button!
Link it back to this post by Tiffany

So here goes it ... Click here to fill out your presh little form. SPREAD the LOVE, pass the word, get it out there. You know you want to join, everyone is doing it. Nothing like good ole peer pressure. 

We will be taking information up until July 25th.. THAT'S LIKE forever away, the more the merrier is the motto. 

You will then be assigned another blogger by July 31st. Send items by August 10th, reveal post by August 20th & link it up!

Rules

• You MUST meet these deadlines, it is important that each & everyone that signs up gets what they signed up for. 

• Follow your hosts pleease, yours truly, Absolute Mommy, & Shabby Kitteh.

• Come back on August 10th for your link up.

Optional Rules

• Grab the swap button & advertise via blog world.

• Shout it out via Twitter, Facebook .. You get it right?

Emails will be sent for reminders because we roll like that.

Thanks Tiffany!

Sounds fun!

So what do you think?

Are summer themed

Beauty Boxes the biz?

Are you ready to get your swap on?

Keep Calm {and let it go}

via Pinterest via praybreathesing via youaresimplywonderful.tumblr
via shibbo.tumblr
See what I did there?
I gave credit where it was due...

This hasn't always been my motto.
"Just write"
But after I entered the blogging world, I've adopted this idea.
Today it's the only thing I can do.
Write.

Write about my heavy heart.
Write about my crazy notions.
Write about what's bothering me most.

If you follow me on Twitter and Facebook then you may already know.
Last night, I discovered my content on another blog.
My name wasn't mentioned.
Now, this may sound crazy, but I know what I read.
I know because I wrote it from my heart.
From my soul.
It's about my life.

Sure names had been changed.
Experiences had been manipulated to fit that bloggers life.
But the stories, the incidents...
Well I had read them before.

I know what you are thinking.
Get a grip, lady.
You're not the only mother in the world.
You're right.
I'm not here to proclaim that I wrote the book on motherhood.
I'm not here to proclaim that I know all there is to know about being a mother of two.

But I will proclaim that this brand of motherhood is MY OWN.
That I'm writing this story, because it's MY OWN.
I'm sure there are a million posts about motherhood.
A million more about mothering more that one child.
Millions of  bloggers like us who are writing and blogging our way through motherhood.
And while our experiences may be similar, they would never produce the same result.
They couldn't.
As my friend Zoe would say, this is my motherhood.
And every motherhood is different.
So, when I invite you into mine it's to share experiences.
Share being the operative word.

When I started blogging it was to write.
Not about followers.
Not about popularity.
Not about numbers.
It was and is about my writing.
My writing is the great love affair of my life.
My writing is what makes my world go round.
My writing is my heart.

MY WRITING.
So when I see that it's been "used", "regurgitated", or resembles a 7th grade book report...
Yeah, I'm going to be a little defensive and a lot angry.
My writing is what separates me from others.
It's what makes this blog mine.

So today I'm writing my story with a heavy heart.
But I'm also writing it with new resolve.
To take a road less traveled in my life.
The high road.
To take this situation for what it's worth.
Flattery.
And with the promise of always quoting my inspiration.
To always cite my sources.
And the promise to never make someone feel like their heart and soul
has been copy and pasted.

On the bright side, she got a lot of good comments.
Of course she did.
I wrote it.

Because {Father's Day}

Because his answer is alway yes...

photo by Rachel Lauren

Because their adventures are always more fun...

photo by Rachel Lauren

 

Because he will always be her dance partner...



photo by Rachel Lauren

Happy Father's Day,

Daddy.

Excuse the hot mess...



Pinterest via Kelly Reilly Wasnick via Lindsey Jackson Blain via someecards.com
Do you ever feel this way?
Why has this been my feeling all week?

Do you ever feel compelled to post?
It's totally where I am right now.
Like I need to write something EPIC!
Since I feel like I've ignored this blog all week.

So I sat out this morning to write the next great blogger post...
And I've got nothing.
Nothing inspiring or funny or life changing.
Oh, I don't make you feel that way daily?

Then week started off on a bad foot,
with Mac being sick and all.
That just set the rest of the week in motion.
And I feel like some of my posts were forced.
I hate that.
Because I can tell they are forced, and so can you.

So instead of forcing a post I will give you the truth.
I don't feel like blogging today.
I haven't felt like it all week.
I have felt like crafting, and I've made some serious Dad's day crafts.
I have felt like lounging by the pool in 100 degree weather.
I lounged the heck outta that pool.
I have felt like being lazy and with my kids,
and doing something other than writing.

And I keep telling myself that, it's ok.
Because my blog is still here.
The world didn't end.
Twitter didn't miss me.
Facebook still hates me and keeps hiding my friends.
Instagram doesn't want a picture of what I'm eating.
And Pinterest saved my ass at 3 am with a sick kid in my lap.

So will there be a Father's Day post on Sunday?
I'm hoping.
Will I highlight my lovely sponsors on Monday?
Yes, it's the goal.
Will I enjoy myself, my kids, my husband and my family this weekend?
Of course.
Will I miss awesome blog stats from an epic post?
Yes, I'm a blogger it's what we do.

I promise that next week I'll be a bit more focused.
I'll have something funny or encouraging to say.
But for now,
I've got hungry kiddos and not enough peanut butter cups to hold them over.

Maybe ice cream will work.