Good Daddies

Have I ever mentioned that my girls have a good Daddy?  They do.  And it's not because I want something or I did something that I'm writing this post.  Ok, maybe it is, but I just wanted to say for the record that my girls have a great Dad, and you know, I just don't say it enough.

Caitlin made this bracelet just for Daddy.
And made sure he wore it all weekend.

In defense of dads, I think they get a bad rap.  I mean I wrote a post about the Mother/Father Double Standard, and it didn't make dads look bad, but it didn't make them look good either.  I'm kind of sorry for that.  That post wasn't to say I have a bad husband and that he's a bad dad, it was mainly to point out a double standard.  But somewhere along the line it was determined that I was putting down some daddies. 

My apologies.

Dads, listens, in your defense you do a spectacular job.  The problem is you do it your way... and not our way.  You see, when we want you to do your "dad" job, what we really want is for you to do it our "mom" way.  I know we don't say this, or tell you this, or even insinuate this, but it's the truth.  We love that you want to pitch in to help, but when you do we want it done our way... 

Ready for the Father Daughter Dance.

How many times have you watched your hubby do something and think... 

That's not the what I would have done.  Why are you doing it that way?  
Oh, geeze for cripes sakes let me do it!  

Sound familiar?  This happens so often in my house I'm pretty sure it happened tonight.  It's because my husband does things his way.  His way.  Those are the magic words.  His way.  It's been this way since the beginning.  When we brought babies home from the hospital he didn't diaper like me, or bottle like me, or put a baby to sleep like me.  And it drove me crazy.  When I asked him to help, I wanted it done my way.  I wanted him to make a bottle following the steps I did.  I wanted him to do everything for our babies the exact way I did.  Because I thought it was the right way.  And he just thought I was crazy.  Do you find yourself feeling the same way?  Maybe that's why we are usually so hard on dads, because while they are totally carrying their weight, they are just carrying it differently from the way we carry ours... And for some reason it causes madness.

Case in point, when the Hubbs took over bath time.  I've never really been a fan of bath time.  I usually end up soaked.  I'm all about business, brush teeth, wash up, dry off, bed.  But Dad, oh, Dad is all about fun.  Bubbles, water fights, crazy shampoo mohawks, splash mountain, you name it dad is game.  That's what is so cool about dad.  Dad can let go of the list that mommy has made of all the things that have to get done before bed time.  Dad, while he respects the schedule, is not a slave to it.  Dad, knows how to let loose and have fun.  And while moms can say they can let loose with the best of them, inside they are really thinking about the wet floor, the half empty bottle of bubble bath that was bought two days ago at Target, and the 7th towel she will have to launder after mopping up said wet floor.  That's why I can't do bath time the justice that dad does.  And for awhile that bothered me.

But in Dad's defense, what did he do wrong?  Are the kids clean?  Yes.  Are the teeth brushed?  Yes.  Did the kids have fun, and enjoy the ride?  Yes.  And, in this house, did Dad clean up the mess?  YES!  So really what did he do wrong?  Nothing.  It's not the way I'd do bath time, but that's just it, I didn't have too.  This took me a long time to understand.  Just because I could hear the shenanigans, didn't mean that I had to go in there and referee, or play mommy cop and break up the kegger.  What it meant was Dad was having some seriously fun Dad kiddo time, and mom got to do whatever she wanted.  Which had been and is not limited to, blogging, watching TV, reading a book, or catching up on Twitter.

My girls have an amazing dad.  He likes adventures in the front yard.  He knows all the words to some Disney Channel theme songs.  He know the difference between Monster High and Barbie.  He can even name a few My Little Ponies.  He'd never admit this but he can.  He reads bedtime stories with better voices.  He like the dirt and paint and grit that drives me crazy.  Most of all he likes being a dad.  He enjoys his time with his girls.  He looks forward to it.  Gets excited about it.  That's what makes him a great dad.

It's time to get down and boogie on
Father Daughter Dance night.

So, in defense of dad's everywhere, we know you are not exactly like Phil Dunphy.  Moms everywhere know you can handle this gig.  We know that you are well equipped for the job.  

It's just we still want you to do it our way.

6 comments:

  1. Yes! I was sitting here laughing and decided to read it to my husband who also starting laughing because he knows that is so me.

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  2. You absolutely hit the nail on the head! Per usual! They don't do it OUR way, which obviously IS the right way. ;) But, they do it the dad way. I do hear far too often though of dads who don't do much and THAT makes my blood boil. Another post for another time though. Thanks for this!

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  3. So very true! Sometimes I have to stop myself from immediately criticizing whatever task I ask him to do. But he is great about putting in just as much work as me, but he just doesn't do it the same way. And I have to make myself accept that. Even though I am pretty convinced my way is better! ;)

    newmommynewlifestyle.blogspot.com

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  4. Dads are super important and great dads rock ... and what often makes them great is that they are different to us moms. PS. my husband told the kids that he is the king of double standards (Tiger can date, Cat can't) ... but that is his way of doing it.

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  5. Hahaha this is awesome. Truth, truth and more truth. Glad your little ladies have an awesome daddy, do you think he can teach my guy how to clean up the messes afterwards?! The fact that he lets loose and makes things fun for the kids makes me so happy, the fact that I'm left to clean up the aftermath, not so much!

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  6. I can't tell you enough how much I agree with EVERYTHING you just said! I find myself so so many times saying "WHY does he do it that way?? WHY can't he do it the way I showed him!? He's doing it WRONG!"

    I'm getting better, and obviously my now almost-two-year-old has survived everything that he's done "wrong." And now, I know why I need to let go.

    Sending you sunshine,
    RACHAEL

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