Twitter will not destroy my marriage
There has been great debate around these parts that Twitter, nay, blogging and social media will be the demise of my marriage. I kid you not. My devotion to my blog, my tweeps, the Instagram followers, will indirectly be the death of my marriage, and in time the American family. I couldn't make this up if I tried friends so let me explain...
When I started blogging a few years ago, it was just me and my blog. I shared my "posts" on my personal Facebook page, and if I got a few likes on Facebook I was a happy girl. I was exercising my writing chops that had been out of practice for far too long. And I was happy. The husband was happy. My children were, well they were my children. I posted about once a week if I could, and pretty much left it at that.
Then I found Pinterest. Perhaps Pinterest should be blamed for the demise of my marriage. At any rate, I found Pinterest and then I found a handful of bloggers who were crafty, and fashionable, and beautiful. They wrote about their children, and the days they spent in perfectly decorated houses. They made things like cake pops and fruit pies. And they were blogging the way I wanted to blog. To the masses, with followers, and sponsors, and they got free stuff. It was like I had finally seen the light.
So I started following the "big girls", I linked up to the big girl leagues, I entered giveaways, and started following and following and following. The more I read the more I wanted to be, and the more I wanted to be the more time I spent in front of a screen. A computer screen or my iPhone screen. Whatever it took to get one more follower, one more comment, one more like.
And so it took a toll. You can't spend hours in front of a screen and expect a clean house and a happy family. You can't blog to your hearts content and not sacrifice a few things around the house. And this my friends has been the thorn in the side of my marriage. A thorn that gets sharper with every like, comment, or uptick in followers. A thorn that sticks and draws blood when I feel like the blog is calling me for more content, more sweat, more tears, more me... And when that blood is drawn, it's pow wow time
The Hubbs and I have a conversation. Sometimes it's a fight. We have been having this same conversation for over a year, and we have it periodically throughout the year. The "why is this so important to you" speech. The "are those people in your phone more important that us" speech. And with an eye roll that almost causes me to keel over, I tell him no, they are not more important than you, or the children. Those "readers" or followers behind the screen are not more important than my family... But my blog is important to me. Maybe it's appears to be priority number one, or even number four, and while it will in no way compare to my real life touchable and tangible family, my blog is still important TO ME.
Because it's been a long time since something has been all mine. It's been a long time since I have had something to show for all the spit up, all the poop, all the laundry, all the dishes. All the mundane daily tasks that I take for granted. All the tasks that are actually blessings in disguise. It's been a long time since someone has told me "Hey that thing you did, it was fantastic". It's been a long time since I worked on something so intently, and instead of it getting destroyed fifteen minutes after doing it, it lives, in black and white.
So perhaps, many of us lose ourselves to blogging or social media. We like the idea that our status updates of cranky toddlers, sassy teenagers, or horrible service at Starbucks, is met with confirmation. We like that the outfits and self portraits we post to Instagram are met with "you look great" or "you're a hot mama", because most days, we don't hear anything remotely close. We need that confirmation, we crave it. Because we are confirming all the life around us, selflessly. WE make sure that those around us are safe, content, and happy. So it's nice to get some of that confirmation in return.
Social media and blogging will not and cannot be the demise of my marriage. I won't let them. Both have made me incredibly happy over the last two years. The friends I have made. The community of women who stand together, even when they don't see eye to eye on every single thing. We still have a great love and great respect for each other. Being in this community makes me happy, makes me feel whole again, makes me feel like a person again. It reminds me that I was Megan first, and then I became Mommy.
So no, social media and blogging will not ruin or destroy my marriage.
As long as the Hubbs continues to ignore my blog posts.
