Thursday Therapy

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Last night I went to bed.  I didn't check Instagram one last time.  I didn't go on Pinterest for an extra laugh.  I didn't turn on the new for more marathon coverage.  I just went to bed.  
Half of me was guilt ridden, half of me was sad.  I'm feeling this extraordinary pull.  I spend all my time away from home these days, or so it seems.  When I finally walk back through the door, I'm not surprised at my overwhelming compulsion to do nothing.  Nothing.  Not a thing.  Not even blogging.

That's been the hardest part.  Not having it in me to write.  I string thoughts that could make a post.  Stories told to myself in my head.  But the act of picking up a pen, or logging into blogger leave me uninterested. 

Funny how one day away, one night off, reminds me of the relief I get when I write.  How much better I feel.  So today, all I thought about was getting to my laptop and writing.  Even if it was crap.  Which by now you have probably noticed this is just a jumble of thoughts.  Dancing in my head.
 
And so I give you my little piece of therapy for the day.

I've got writers block.  Or maybe writers fatigue.  I can't for the life of me write something quickly.  With work, then coming home to children I dearly miss, dinner to make and homework to do, I feel like there is not enough time to eek out a post.  I'm feeling the pressure now as I write this while my children play and the husband wrangles.  I could push this moment to later tonight when the kids are in bed, but what about me?  Lately mommy needs her sleep.  I'd say beauty sleep but really?  Let's be honest, there is nothing beautiful of 2nd day hair and bags under the eyes.  So today's post is what it is.  Something quick.  Something easy.  Something almost brainless.

I've never wanted this blog to feel like work.  And thankfully it still doesn't, but my heart hurts a little that I can't write the way I want.  I can't have the ease and the blocks of time to really put my heart into it.  So my posts may be spotty.  You may see really great stuff at the beginning of the week and then some leaner stuff at the end.  And that's ok for now.  I look forward to late night weekend blogging sessions, but I may choose sleep over the blogging.  I'm really that tired.  

So that's my bloggy therapy for today.  Anything you want to get off your chest?  Need to make a bloggy confession?  Go ahead and leave it in the comments, or write your own and leave it in the comments.  Because this is way cheaper than therapy.


5 comments:

  1. Don't feel bad. It is your real life. Sometimes we have time and loads to write about and other times the reality of life outside of our blogs take over.

    We share a laptop the husband and I so I'm the last one in line when it comes to using it. Even so, sometimes I might have it but just lack the inspiration to do anything other than watch rubish on it. But is real...

    Don't feel guilty about wanting to do nothing, enjoy it!

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  2. I think it's fine to take a little break from the blog... you don't have to be on top of it all the time. You're busy!!

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  3. Good for you! I think bloggers get to caught up in posting, posting,posting - that instead of posting CONTENT they post CRAP. So good for you for taking a break :)
    We are all still here following you! xoxo

    -T

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  4. my posts have been sort of spotty or forced as well. i feel you friend... but i love this, its honest and its therapeutic...

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  5. Blogging is such an outlet for me but it can also be so stressful because there are times that I miss it and then it becomes just one more thing that takes away from all the mom stuff I need to do. My husband doesn't get my need to blog so I hide it. He knows I do it but rarely sees me in action. It frustrates me that he doesn't get that when I get just 30 minutes of blogging time I am a better wife and mother. Men! Okay that is my rant for today.

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