Not enough time for us

 
 
It's what he said to me the other night.
After we fought about stuff.
Work stuff.
Time stuff.
Us stuff.
And that's when he said there is never enough time for us.
 
He's right you know.
Our days are filled with mothering, work, kids, dinnertime, bath time.
Weekends spent at Costco, Target, birthday parties, laundry.
And lately our nights have been invaded by sudden co-sleepers.
It's hard to talk, and have real conversations when you have little ears listening.
 
So while we spent Valentine's Day with our girls, we have no regrets.
A quick dinner at Panera Bread with two giggling girls
was soothing to our parenting souls.
Our browse through Target was fun and stress free.
And that night bedtime wasn't a struggle.
 
But it still wasn't enough time for just us.
The us we used to be before kiddos.
The us who used to stay in bed watching TV on Saturdays until dinnertime.
The us who used to stay up until 3 am listening to music on YouTube.
The us who occasionally would go eat dinner out on a weeknight.
That us is way too busy now.
 
So what about us?
Now we watch and listen to YouTube on the iPad in bed
with the promise to go to bed after just one more.
We have learned to talk in code.
We cheat at the bedtime game and let them fall asleep in our bed,
while we watch Hot Tub Time Machine or Gangs of NY in the living room.
Letting the kiddos blissfully snooze unaware that we have gone.
He will do me one solid and watch the latest episode of Scandal.
I'll do him one solid and watch Moneyball (again!).
And I've promised him an overnight trip or two just for us this year.
Something I haven't done since Mac was born.
 
Because for there to be an us, I have to let go a little.
I have to remember that before I was a mom I was a wife.
And before we were a family.
We were an Us.
 
 
Linking up with Kristine for
Love Is...