The rug

  Just when I thought I had it all figured out...   The rug got pulled out from under me.  

Ignore the bags under the eyes.
This is what exhaustion looks like.

  Ok, that's not really the truth. I'll never have this motherhood thing worked out. But I had gotten into a pretty successful groove.
Successful to me. To you, this might look like a bloody disaster.   Like all things in motherhood you have to be ready and willing to change.   Why don't they tell you that shiz from the beginning? Why doesn't someone just say, "You can read all the books you want.  Go ahead and buy that $385 breast pump.  Make your own baby food if you want.  Just be aware that if you are not flexible, you are 110% screwed".   I say screwed, but I mean something else. It's starts with an "F".   Finding my groove in motherhood has been fantastic.  A little routine to keep me sane, to keep the kiddos in line, and to keep the husband thinking that I'm successful in the "work place".  The work place being my home, and the success being that the kids are alive and fed, and that some of the laundry is done, and that the grilled cheese for dinner isn't burned.  It's not the best case scenario in the best of parenting books, or even parenting blogs, but it's my scenario.  When I think back to my early days as a mom, I'm surprised that I'm even standing here.  Those early days were dark.  I didn't think it was possible to find my footing.  But little by little, grilled cheese by grilled cheese, laundry pile by laundry pile, I found a way to make it work.  Even with the daily disasters that come and go, we are on a roll here.  Until, the rug is pulled and hey, mama's back to work.    The biggest lesson I've learned as a mom is that you have to be flexible. Like 21 year old college pilates instructor, flexible. Because motherhood is a cold hearted, well you know, and she will throw curve ball after curve ball. And just when you feel like breaking she will throw you another.   So as I dive back into the workforce for a short stint as a seasonal employee, it's like spring training and all I'm seeing are curve balls.   What would motherhood be without daily disruptions to your routine?   It would be boring. And childless.