School makes the heart grow fonder

 
School started yesterday.  For both girls.  I dropped Mac at Preschool and
then Caitlin to first grade.  All before nine o'clock in the morning. 
You want to know what I did?
 
Nothing.
 
Yes, I bought this and read it.
Without interruption.
 
That's right.  Nothing.  I went home.  I ate breakfast in silence.  No one asked for more iced tea.  No one said they hated waffles or pancakes or both.  I sat in the recliner in front of our TV, and while CNN droned in the background I played Candy Crush on my phone.  Then I happened upon a documentary, and I watched it, in it's entirety, with swear words and live births and all.  Then I went to Walmart, and did not, I repeat, did not walk down one single toy aisle.  I bought the newest People Mag, not because Kate was on it, but because I knew I could read it, from cover to cover, in one hour.  And I did. 
 
Mac's first day WIW picture
 
It's been a long time since I've had a guilt free spare moment.  One that I enjoyed recklessly.  With dishes in the sink, and laundry waiting to fold.  It's been years since I watched anything other than Nick Jr that early in the morning.  I was so at a loss at mid day, I almost watched reruns of Jessie on the Disney channel.  What's even on daytime TV anymore?  And while my heart is forever tied to my little lovelies, that small, sweet taste of freedom was blissful.  A few moments all for me.  I didn't even blog or check my email. 
I just sat, and savored, and enjoyed it.
 
There is something to be said for finally finding your independence.  Even admitting that you want an ounce of independence while you are a mother is a novel idea.  Who would admit that?  Well, me.  I'm admitting it.  It's only taken about six years to finally say, that there are days where it's would be nice to think just for myself again.  As moms, we rarely think for ourselves.  We are always a second thought, third if we are feeling cordial towards our spouses.  For all the days where you are the boss, the leader, the nurse, the taxi driver, the chef, the maid; there is something sweet about being all of those things to just yourself. 
I'm sure independence looks different on everyone. 
Just like motherhood, we all carry our own lose definition. 
But it's just as sweet, no matter what it looks like.
 
Caitlin's first day WIW pic
Hair pretties by Kristine at The Foley Fam Unedited
 
The best part of yesterday was that after school was not overwhelming.  I was ready for them to come home.  My living room didn't look like it's usual disaster area.  Dinner was prepped.  Groceries were not a task to still be tackled.  I was overjoyed to have my girls back home.  Even when they started fighting over the iPad less than an hour after arriving home.  Because absence really does make the heart grow fonder.  Back to school gave me a chance to regroup.  To be ready for a long day and night while Daddy travels for work.  To not have to tackle 110 things after the school bell rings.  To take some time to read a book, watch a movie, and eat a meal, with and without my girls.
 
Today, I have done more of the same.  And yet today seems harder to really enjoy those moments bliss.  I had dishes to do, and laundry to fold.  Mac cried this morning, I guess she's not quite sure about this school thing.  I've got the post office on the agenda, and a trip for new ballet shoes.  Yet, I'm here, almost guiltily.  Enjoying the quiet while I write.  Savoring the last few bits of me time before afterschool pick up.  Because I've only got about two more hours of thinking for myself.
 
Except, any mom knows, I'm only thinking about my kids.
 
 
PS: I try to respond to my comments via email.
I'm slowing working on that.
But I have read every one, love that you comment,
and will respond.
Soon.

6 comments:

  1. At night when my husband works and Jack is in bed is perfection. Sometimes I watch tv, or blog, or do my nails, or take a long shower, or call a friend. I just love it! I take about 30 minutes of me time before I get to doing my mom and wife stuff.

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  2. Sometimes I regret our plan to homeschool because that quiet freedom sounds so nice, even for a few short hours!

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  3. I can't even imagine how that feels. To have uninterrupted moments to do what YOU want to do! Jay starts school soon but, Kage will still be home with me. Next year will be when I finally get those moments of silence and miss my kids the entire time! Fabulous post Megan! love you! xoxo

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  4. I'm jealous of your "me" time. That would've been me next year but we decided on another baby. Until the baby is in preschool I'll always envy other mom's "me" time

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  5. Thanks for the shout out Megs! Seriously they are both too cute! Glad you're enjoying your well deserved me time! XOXO

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  6. seriously girl. i love how you write. somehow you are so thoughtful and eleoquent, yet sarcastic and funny at the same time. i actually did LOL when i read about the swear words and live births... haha i love YOU!

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