Medical Mystery Tour Part 3: DOD

If you are interested in Part 1 or Part 2 of the Medical Mystery Tour.  Please read.

DOD.  The Diet of Death.  Yeah, that's what I'm calling it.  Thanks to my BF who comes up with the best nicknames for everything under the sun.  Like she refers to Toms as winter flip flops which is truly what they are.  So when I read her my NO FOODS list, she said, "So you're going on the Diet of Death".  Uh, yeah.  I am.

The Diet of Death or DOD if you will, sounds bad.  It's not.  Really.  I just feel like it's really bad.  I get the purpose of it.  It's technical term is a Modified Elimination Diet or an MED.  Maybe you've been on one before.  This MED is to eliminate foods that are common allergens.  To find out if I'm allergic to MORE foods.  I say more, because I'm seriously allergic to everything that's worth eating.  No joke.  OK, joke.  I eat chocolate and caffeine (for now).  So that's good.  I've done MEDs before.  And I did them for a while, as in 6 months in 2002.  This one is only for 10 days, but this one just might send me over the edge.  I just might have to throw a hissy fit.  This DOD is going to be brutal.  Let's lay down the rules.

Here are the NOs
1. No Dairy
2. No Wheat
3. No Gluten
4. No Corn
5. No Peanuts or Peanut butter
6. No Strawberries or Citrus
7. NO EGGS
8. NO SUGAR
9. NO CAFFEINE

Say what?

Let's being with items 1-6.  Ok, 1-5 fine.  Good riddance.  I do that anyway, every day.  And to you #6, strawberries are out of season, and I'm not a big fan of oranges.  So, we're good here.  No big.  I haven't had any of those in the last 10 days currently.  Awesome.

Now, lets talk 7, 8, and 9.  Hello.  Hello?  HELL-OOOO?  Seriously?  These are my last vices/things available in my life that make me live.  I'm not kidding.  Ok, I'm kind of kidding, but seriously?

#7 No Eggs.  To say that I eat eggs is like saying hens lay eggs.  It happens every day.  Like sometimes twice a day.  I'm the only GFer in the house, so on days when I cook a meal for John and the kiddos that isn't GF, say like biscuit pizzas, I eat eggs for dinner.  No big I like them.  They are fast and easy, and they are so awesome in fact people call them the Incredible Edible Egg.  This "NO EGGS" rule is going to be tough.  Especially because I'm a big breakfast person.  I've gotta start the day with a good breakfast.  So now what?  Any suggestions?  Any thing without sugar, peanut butter, and wheat?  No oatmeal either.  Anyone? 

#8 NO SUGAR.  Not just white sugar either.  All kinds of sugar you probably didn't even know existed.  Brown rice sugar, molasses, agave, cane sugar.  Go check the back of any GF/organic/I'm good for you product and you will find some kind of sugar alternative that is also a no-no on this list.  I can have honey and stevia.  The real kicker here... NO SODA.  I don't drink that much anyway, but when we get to #9, you are gonna realize the type of pain I'm going to endure.

#9 NO CAFFEINE.  I.  Don't.  Have.  Words.  Seriously?  If you've been reading AbsoluteMommy, then you know my day is not complete without Tea.  Iced tea.  Brewed at home or from my legal dealer Starbucks.  It's my last vice.  My.  Last.  Vice.  Since college I've give up cigarettes, bread, and alcohol.  Some by choice, some because I had to (hear that bread!).  Tea, mind you caffeine, is it for me.  I'm addicted.  I admit it. 

So #9, you are a b#*ch and I hate you! 

When I went off caffeine a few weeks ago for blood work, I was so delusional from lack of caffeine that I was literally talking and cursing all other beverages in my possession.  "Oh sure, you have a great rep for being healthy and good for me, Mr. H20, but you suck.  You are tasteless and boring and I hate you".  "Hello Miss Grape juice you are a big fake.  You look like red wine but you taste awful.  How dare you trick me!  Gross". 

See, it's about to get cray-cray over here. 

I know what you're thinking.  Get a grip lady, it's only 10 days.  You're right, but this is how I deal with things I don't want to do.  I get catty and blog about it.  It's just that #7-9 are still the things I enjoy about food.  I don't really enjoy food anymore.  I don't think I ever have.  Eating is just eating.  It's so I won't pass out or turn into a crab-apple.  Most things that actually taste good make me sick. 

Eating for me is like wading in a pool of anxiety.  Will this make me sick?  How long before it makes me sick?  Should I even attempt to eat it?  Forget going out!  Every time I do I have an internal debate about what to order, should I order, how long will it take to get the check, how many stalls are in the bathroom.  Catch my drift?

My relationship with food is terrible and sometimes toxic.  Letting go of 7-9 is going to be hard, because they are my soldiers, my friends, that have been there to see me through.  I know, I know.  It's only 10 days lady get a grip!

Bright side, it's only 10 days.  I may discover new foods, like almond butter and coconut milk, both on the YES list.  I will be forced to make healthy vegetable and fruit filled dinners, so finally my kids will eat off the food pyramid and not off a fast food menu. 

I'll be starting this on Saturday.  As in 7 days.  Don't worry, you are going to hear all about it!  Until then, please email, message, comment here with any recipes, suggestions, perhaps herbal teas I might like that are caffeine and citrus free.  I'm going to try to stay positive.  This is going to help me.  This is going to make me better.  This is going to get me some answers. 

That's worth no caffeine for 10 days right?

Is it completely dramatic and over the top to throw a farewell party at Starbucks? 

Happy Blogging,
Megan

Stop and smell the roses

Or the flowers if you will.

Last Friday night the hubbs brought home flowers.  Let me tell you this is rare.  Not the idea that he was thinking of me on his way home (ok sometimes that too), but the actual act of buying me flowers.  It wasn't my birthday, or a holiday, and I hadn't hurt my back yet.  He just brought home flowers.  And of course I ruined the moment by saying "What were they half off", because it's a rare occurrence to get random flowers on a Friday night.

I've written some posts on him recently.  Some posts about us and our marriage.  I hope I'm not painting the picture of perfection.  We are not perfect.  Our marriage is FAR from perfect. 

We fight.  We yell.  We sometimes say things we can't take back.  We also love.  We laugh.  We say things that make the other spit out their drink.  We are married.  We are people.  We are parents.  We are human.

Recently we have been taking advantage.  Of each other.  Of time.  Of responsibilities.

Then I read a post here and here.  He read them too. 

We both realized in our own way, that someone had to pour the first glass.

One of us had to forgo the first cup.

So he brought home flowers.

So I put down the iPhone.  I shut off Facebook/Twitter/The Blog.
 
And we talked.  Without yelling.  With out tears.  Without the usual foot stomping dramatics.

It was our first Ah-ha of 2012.
 
We stopped all the other distractions.  The kids were asleep.  The phones were away.  The tv was on CNN (ignored).
 
We talked shop.  Our marriage.  Our kids.  His job.  My blog.  We talked about outstanding issues with each other that still aren't resolved.  I have some, he has some.  Neither of us is perfect.  Neither of us is to blame. 

We talked about it all and what it meant to us.  What it meant to our marriage.

We were nice.

We were loving.

We were kind.

And it was refreshing and re-energizing.
 
Because someone had to pour the first glass.

One of us had to forgo the first cup.

Because he brought home flowers.

I even made a pretty home for them.

Happy Blogging,
Megan

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Get Yo Craft On! V-day Edition

It's almost Valentine's Day, and conversation hearts are everywhere.  I love conversation hearts.  Not to eat of course, but to admire.  They are so cute and the colors slay me.  The pastels are such a joy in the middle of a foggy or rainy February.  I also love them because they talk, and if you haven't noticed, I love to talk.  They say things like hug me, love ya, kiss me, and xoxo.  What's not to love?  Oh, yeah the taste.

So let's craft them and skip the chalky calories.  Since I'm nothing if not a crafting, frugal, domestic goddess (are you laughing yet?), I've decided to give you a craft idea that is simple and cheap.  Here is a 5/5.  Five dollars in five minutes, give or take a few of each, craft.

I didn't use that tissue paper.
It just helped you see the vase better.

Supplies:
Cylinder vase - Dollar Store
2 pkgs of Convo Hearts - Dollar Store
Shot glass - my cupboard.  Don't judge.
Flowers - from my Hubby, so free

Directions:
Place your shotty in a vase, and then pronounce it "vaaah-ze" to feel fancy.

Drop in your hearts carefully because they will want to jump into the shot glass. A spoon is a good tool to fish them out.

Can you see the shot glass?

When your shotty is covered to your liking, drop in flowers of your choice and water.

Looks nice just like this.

Then you can bling it up.  I added a pink ribbon.

I added pink ribbon here.

This really shows off the flowers my hubby bought me on Friday night.  This isn't his usual MO.  So of course I ruined the moment by joking "Were these half off?".  So I'm going to take a moment and highlight his "just for you because I thought of you" moment.  He loves me. 

I bought extra convo hearts because I wasn't sure how many it would take.  So now with the extra, Caitlin and I are going to make these for her preschool teacher and class aid.  This time I'm going to use carnations, as they are very under appreciated and quirky.  Much like my crafting skills.

Happy Blogging,
Megan

Linking up with Kristine here!

Yeah!

Linking up with Laura at Our Reflection

This linky is open until the 13th

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All that glitters is four

If you have a four year old daughter, God bless you.  No really.  You must understand better than most the current "4 going on 14" stage.  Where if it doesn't sparkle or make her look like Ariel then it doesn't go on the body.  This phase that everything is up for discussion or debate.  Where every morning is a fashion show that ends like the season finale of Project Runway, with me victorious, and my girl in tears.

It's the sass, the attitude, all the backtalk.  It's like an endless episode of toddlers and tiaras. 

Rocking it!

And today like most days, I ran out of patience.  I yelled.  I threatened to throw out all of the clothes she refuses to wear.  I could not handle one more debate on purple gingham vs. red velvet.  I could not argue over why red glitter shoes could not be worn with the purple velour track suit.  Meltdown after meltdown about side ponies vs. half ponies vs. pigtails.

I can't debate like a high powered attorney at 7 am.  I just can't.

Then the sass.  That mouth she has on her.  It's like looking in a mirror.  I'm all sass and sarcasm, and she got that gene.  I back talk the Hubbs all the time, so why wouldn't she.  She is following my example.  I have no one to blame, but myself.  Seriously?  I'm the mom, right?  I should be able to do as I do, right?  Well not exactly.

This is her first day of school outfit.
She picked it out.

So today, I think we are even stevens.  I love her.  Like more than life.  It's just challenging some days.  Like today.  I try to be encouraging.  I try to talk it out.  But I can only handle one or two meltdowns about hair and accessories before I snap.  Is this how my mother felt?

My mom reminds me that I was exactly the same.  I wanted to dress myself.  I had the details down to a T.  Is it any wonder, my mini me demands the same.  A good friend reminded me that this is what we all want as moms.  A child that can express themselves.  Can have and form an opinion.  A child that has an imagination that runs wild.  So I try.  I try to encourage all the great outfits, and let me tell you some of them are killer.

She got this for Christmas.
Look at the fingerless gloves.
She loves this!
She want to wear this to Target.

Some days are a battle around here.  A fashion/attitude war zone played out against a Disney Princess background.  Some days the wounds are worse.  Some days we call a truce.

So we will start over tomorrow.

But today.  Deep breath in... Breathe.

I even asked her today, "Did I pick up the right kid from school?".

Well hows that for an example in sassy sarcasm?

Happy Blogging,
Megan

WINNING! AbsoluteMommy Style!

A bigger than life THANK YOU to everyone who participated in this Sweet Celebration giveaway!  You made my first official giveaway a huge success!  Unfortunately there can be only one winner. 

And that person is...

AngieJan 24, 2012 01:34 PM

Congrats on one year!!!

So Angie you have 48 hours to email me.  So please, email me!

Thanks again everyone!  I'm super happy that I was able meet some new people AND that I successfully loaded Rafflecopter. 

Happy Blogging,
Megan

In sickness and in health...

We have all either taken this vow or heard someone take this vow.



We take it with visions of being old and growing old with our spouse.  Like sitting next to or in a hospital bed.  And holding wrinkled hands with each other.

We don't take it believing that this vow will challenge us so early in our marriage.

John and I will be married 7 years in April.  Seven.  It doesn't seem possible.  But we look at our girls, 4 and almost 2, and know we've done a lot in 7 years. 

But I don't think that 7 years ago, John knew that this vow, was going to be the one that was the most challenging. 

We had been married a little over a year when I got pregnant with Caitlin.  Those first 4 months were killer with all day sickness.  He would leave in the morning and return in the evening and I would still be in the same place.  Bed.  Still sick.  Still complaining.  Still mad at the world.  Because I hate being sick.

Then close to 3 years later, I was pregnant again, this time with Mackenzie.  The all day sickness was worse.  My blood pressure was high, the leg cramps were worse, and I had zero cravings... I hated it all.  I was mad that I wasn't indulging in ice cream.  Depressed that I couldn't do all the things I wanted too without being exhausted.  Frustrated that I wasn't enjoying my pregnancy.  I really didn't enjoy either pregnancy. 

So I'm sure he thought that when Mac was finally born, I'd be back to my old self.  I'm sure he was not prepared in anyway for the post partum hemorrhage that followed.  Neither was I.  I'm sure it left him just as speechless as it left me.  I'm sure he was completely unprepared for the frail and pale wife that met him in my post partum room, some 8 hours later.

I have continued to be sick since Mac was born.  Slowly getting worse and worse.  Slowing developing new symptoms.  I'm sure there isn't a way to prepare your husband for the golf ball size hair balls that he removes from the drain.  Or the $200 plus antibiotics, followed by the $100 anti-nausea to go with it.  Or the bills that will begin arriving, from the new medical clinic that will be seeing me soon.

Recently, after an exhausting day, we were in bed, watching TV, something reality or sports perhaps.  I said to him I guess you really didn't know that it really would be "in sickness and in health".  To which he replied, "Seriously.  Is it too late to rethink it?"

This is what he does.  He makes it funny.  He makes me laugh at myself and the situation.  He changes the tone.

He looked at all the tests that came in the mail, and made a joke about each and every one.  He looked at my modified elimination diet, and said, "What in God's name can you eat?".  He looked at the vials, and cups, and taped arms and said, "did they leave anything?". 

And sure sometimes I'm not in the mood to joke.  Sometimes I want a pity party. 

He won't let me.

I joked that I wanted to renew my vows this year.  Since it's lucky number 7. 

Perhaps we already are...

For better or worse.  In sickness and in health.  Forever and Always.

Happy Blogging,
Megan

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Forever 21 and a Xanax

Forever 21 isn't new to me.  I'm not that old or unfashionable.  I've shopped there before, both in store and online.  I love it just as much as the next girl/woman 16-34ish give or take.  Well I'll be 34 this year, so I'm making it 34ish.  But, I haven't shopped there in a while, because thinking about shopping there makes me break out in a cold sweat.  Don't laugh.  The Forever 21 here is Fresno is THREE stories.  Yeah, ladies, THREE.

THREE stories of delicious and ridiculous bargains and steals.  Three stories of yummy gotta have it prints, scarves, and earrings that OMG are $1.80!  ONE DOLLAR EIGHTY CENTS... The pressure of all this fashion packed into three towering stories made me want to pop a Xanax.  The pressure of having to rush through it all.  I just knew in my heart I would miss out on something amazing and then I'd be crying, sitting next to the nail polish table, holding a scrunchie (they're baaack) and a feather headband, trying to crawl my way back to sanity.  I'm not joking here folks, this had the potential for Fashion Melt Down Train Wreck 2012.  And isn't that the real crime?  That I'd miss some really great bargain, and never know the glory of wearing a Lady Gaga inspired ruffle shirt covered in blue galloping horses.  Am I right?

So last Sunday, my cousin Kim, who is like my shopping guru, and I went to THE MALL.  The mall, meaning the good one with Sephora, American Eagle, and  the panic inducing Forever 21.  We started out slow, and then I made my move.  I put on my big girl panties and said let's do this.  But I had one condition.  We had to stay on the first floor.  She could certainly go to other floors, but I would not be joining in fear of her having to call the ambulance.  Kim, being Kim, totally understanding and unselfish, held my trembling hand and lead me in.  And I instantly went coo-coo bananas over it all. 

Are you joking me that there are $4 scarves, a kitty faced hand mirror for $1, and nail polish that would put Crayola to shame in it's colors.  And the clothes.  OMG the clothes.  The nautical sweatshirt, that looks like a real navy top, like the one Popeye wears.  No, I didn't buy it, because the husband draws the invisible line at military garb, paisley, and neon.  No joke. 

As a side note, we saw the most amazing sweatshirt pictured below, and being overwhelmed my affordable fashion, I didn't buy it, but my goodness I should of. 

Courtesy of Forever 21

If that isn't the most ridiculous sweatshirt, I don't know what is, and I'm kicking myself for not buying and understanding it's glory then.  It's epic!  It's like the perfect sweatshirt for Easter right?  Who doesn't love a rabbit, and then to class it up with a top hat ?  Seriously?  It's dressed and ready to hit the Easter Parade, or at the very least Easter brunch.  Further proof I need a Xanax last Sunday.  Or a Starbucks.  Or quite possibly both.

So I did it.  I conquered my fear of the three story Forever 21, well at least the first floor.  It was great, but now I'm in a depression about the two floors of awesome-ness I missed out on.  Oh, and before I forget look at the haul my four year old got.

There may or may not have been a "Mommy are you coming home yet?" call prior to this purchase.  This is mommy guilt in motion folks.  And really look at those Hello Kitty tissues.  Everyone, I don't care how old you get will always smile and squeal when presented with HK tissues.  And yes, that's lip gloss and nail polish, and the stinking cutest hand mirror $1 could buy.  Don't ask me how much this cost, because I don't want to be divorced for financial irresponsibility.  Also you'd just die!

Happy Blogging,
Megan

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Rain Day Dinner

Friday was dreary.  Cloudy.  And there was a huge chance of rain.  I'll be honest with you, I love the rain.  As long as I'm at home, in my pjs with some really great TV.  So Friday we stayed at home.  With reckless abandon.  Pjs for most of the day.  I did shower, but then put on yoga pants and a long sleeved t-shirt.  Then kids went from overnight pjs to lounge in the house pjs.  It was incredible!

So as dinner time approached, I knew, this day was pretty much toast.  Why should I really put in a huge effort for dinner time?  Why start being productive now, right?  Well of course the answer was pizza, like delivered to my door in 30 minutes or less.  Then I had a moment of regret.  More money again?  Spending money on dinner when I just spent a gazillion at the grocery store.  I knew that I must have something in this house resembling pizza.  Turns out I did.

Feast your eyes on Biscuit Pizzas. 

Ok, so you all probably already make these.  There was great debate (internally) about the deliciousness of biscuit pizzas.  But then I remembered:  bread + cheese = Awesome.  How could this not produce a win/win situation?  Seriously, what is better than cheese and bread?  Ok chocolate.  But isn't pizza a vegetable now or something?

Here is the tutorial:
You need
one can of biscuits, some shredded cheese, pizza sauce,
and a rolling pin.
Pop open the biscuit can without having a small heart attack from the anticipation of it popping in your hand. 
Biscuit cans and may one day be the death of me.
Roll out the biscuit until its as thin as you like.
Slap on some sauce and some cheese and whatever else fancies your pizza.
Bake according to package.  Mine were approx. 11 min
Eat.  Enjoy. 

Revel in the fact that you are a domestic goddess who makes delicious dinners in less than 20 minutes.  Rachel Ray who?

What's more fun than a pj and pizza party in an upside down tent with your sister? 

I have no idea!
Happy Blogging,
Megan

Linking up with Lena over at Mom2MemphisAndRuby

Happy Friday = InstaFriday

Happy Friday everyone!  Here's a peek at our week. 

The magic of blanket forts.

Still hopelessly in love with my Toms. 

What's not to love? 

They have pink soles!

Because we couldn't be Mac to actually Tebow...

We gave her TebowFace courtesy of Daddy's birthday cupcake cake. 

No cell pic of that.  And even though Tebow lost the NINERS WON!!   

Yeah we're fans.

My pantry before.  You can read about in this post here.

And in case you were worried. 

My pantry today, after a nap time scramble. 

I'd like to say it was because I was inspired to get organized. 

It wasn't. It was as simple as having more groceries to put away. 

And if I was easily embarrassed I wouldn't mention

that I found Worcester sauce older than my daughter. 

No, the four year old!

The Hubby's birthday cupcakes.  Inspired by ElsieCakes.

 

If you haven't visited ElsieCakes please do yourself a favor and go there. 

It's an everything beautiful blog, with instructions and tutorials! 

These babies are from scratch, and I MADE THEM. 

As you can see I'm no professional, but I made them. 

And the Hubby... LOVED THEM. 

Is hording them. 

Looks like these are on the menu for Valentines Day and/or

"I was a horrible wife today" day, so here are some cupcakes, and sorry. 

How was your week?  Are you on Instagram? 

Look for Me! 

I'm absolutemommy... Of course!

Happy Blogging,

Megan

Linking up over here!

Medical Mystery Tour Part 2

This is part 2 in a series I've started.  To get caught up, read this...

Last post was super heavy with many of you responding with prayers and kind words.  Thank you.  No really.  I read and cried with each comment.  It was an amazing outpouring of support.  Thank you.

Now, many of you may be wondering just what kind of healing I'm talking about.  For some it may be hard to wrap your head around alternative medicine... That's a-OK.  I would too, if I were you, but please know that most "Western/modern" medicine has yet to provide me with answers.  This has been a journey that began at birth.  Some day I just may ask my mom to guest post.  Please, please understand that I am not a doctor.  Health Now is not paying me for this post or any other.  This is my personal journey, and what I hope is going to work for me. 

I found HealthNow over the summer at another blog.  I was immediately interested, as two of their doctors had written  a book about Celiac and gluten intolerance.  The book is called The Gluten Effect.  Dr. Richard Petersen and Dr. Vikki Petersen are clinical nutritionists.  Along with an Internist, Chiropractor (both Dr. Petersens are chiropractors as well), a Physical Therapist, and a doctor of Naturopathic Medicine, they make the team at Health Now Medical Center in Sunnyvale California.  I like that it says, "Our team of doctors work together to offer a comprehensive wellness approach to health" on their website.  All I could think of when I read that was, NOW we're talking!

The HealthNow website is full of information and testimonials.  Way too many to mention here.  If you are interested in them or want more info please visit the links.  Also if you are interested in the book, The Gluten Effect, you can find it on their home page.  I haven't bought it because I have so many "gluten free" books since my diagnosis, and many times it's the same info.  However after my visit I just may have to buy it.

Speaking of my visit with this team of doctors, I'm scheduled for February 15-17 (any guest posters out there?).  I'm looking forward to the visit since I'm really looking forward/praying for some answers.  The hotel living for a few days with the kiddos is not the best, but family is close, and they are ready and willing to help.  Thank God, again, for family!

Now for some fun stuff.

Before that visit, I had to complete some "test" which roughly translated to "specimen collection".  Yeah you know what I'm talking about, if not read this.  And one collection was saliva.  I'm leaving it at that.  The two blood tests in addition to this was seriously a walk in the park.  The fasting and all. 

All received in the mail.  Exciting?

Here are some pictures of a very interesting day.  No caffeine for 24 hours.  Saliva collection every 4 hours with nothing but food and water for the previous hour.  Is it any wonder I had to post-it everything? 

Yes that says No Caffeine...
Yes, I did it...
And at 10:15 I had a glass of tea.

This is what your lunch looks like when you have a 1 hr fast.
Yeah that "sample' had to be refrigerated.
And it wasn't any kind of waste matter...PROMISE

Misc. Test kit... Awesome.

 All tests are done and Fed-Ex'd as of last week.  I'm super happy that none of the bags say "bio hazard" or "Poop Test".  So while I'm very excited to visit these doctors, there is one more obstacle in my way.  The Modified Elimination Diet, or as the BF calls it, "The Diet of Death".  This diet is the real deal.  It's no joke.  It's also the subject of my next post.  I'll leave you with a teaser.  Are you ready for this?

NO CAFFEINE.

FOR 10 DAYS.

NO STARBUCKS FOR 10 DAYS.

DIET OF DEATH.

Happy Blogging,
Megan

Lost and Found

I lost myself the other day... Well I kind of just lost it all together.  My Facebook post went something like this...

Absolute Mommy

Feel kinda funny... Like I got robbed or hijacked. All this hard work and outreach and it got taken... Well only time will tell... Just keep blogging...

Now many of you commented and thanks for that.  But at the heart of it was just plain jealousy.  Jealous of some one's success.  I was equally mad and ashamed at the same time.  That combo kept me awake all Sunday night.

I swore I wasn't going to be wrapped up in this part of blogging.  The comparisons, the number of followers, the number of "like"s on a page... I tried really, really hard not to focus on that stuff, but in recent days, it's been on my mind.  Something I've wanted.  I did what so many other bloggers advise not to do... I compared myself.  In my defense the comparison was on the same level.  I'm no GussySews, Casey Wiegand, or LittleMissMomma.  But the person I compared myself too, we are pretty much equals.  And it just about killed me that they were cashing in, and I was trying to catch up...

The Green Eyed Monster got a hold of me and got a hold of me good.

I should not have taken it so personally.  But I did.  What's so great about them?  What do they got that I don't?

So I had my Facebook Pity Party Hissy Fit... And then the BF called.

I knew it was her, and before I could even start to plead my case she said... "You wanna get right with this or what?"

So I told the story, and she listened, because that's what she does.  And when I finished she asked me:

Why did you start blogging? 

No, wait, think about it, why did you start blogging? 

Tell me why.

Then it hit me.

To write.

To get right with this mess, my world, my brand of mommyhood.

To feel accomplished.

To have something to call my own.

Then I remembered.  I remembered that in the beginning it was all about the post.  The writing and my lovely friends and family that would read it and praise the subject or the story.  When the blog comments were nil, and my Facebook comments were few.  The people who took the time to take a peek at my world.  Those people who made my days.

Which made me think about all the private messages received after this post.  The ones that made me cry.  The ones that made me laugh.  The ones that thanked me for making it OK.  OK, that the kids watched 2 hours of Nick Jr, for a moment of sanity.  OK, that Mac and Cheese 3 nights a week is sometimes the reality.  OK, that wearing the same outfit to 3 different events is perfectly acceptable, since those are now our "dressy" clothes.  Those readers who reinforced what I always knew.  That I was not alone.  That mothers like us are not alone.

Now I get comments from strangers.  Many that have become awesome bloggy friends.  Amazing bloggers who solidify that this was the best decision I have ever made for myself since becoming a mom.

It took a hissy fit and some blind jealousy to really appreciate what has been created here.  Do I like the comments? Absolutely.  Do I like the jump in followers recently?  You bet.  It's a great ego boost for sure, but they shouldn't make or break me.  Truth is I didn't even start checking stats until August.  Which was also the month I began participating link ups.  If I take that into consideration, I have come a long way since August...

So I realized that it's not so much about the comments as it is the connection.

Just like this blog isn't about being followed it's about writing what's in my mind and heart.

I talk a lot about "owning it".  Whatever your "it" may be.  Well it's time I owned this.

My writing.  My blog.  Myself.

So I found myself.  Again.  And I'm enjoying it all over again.

Happy Blogging,
Megan

Want to discover something amazing?

Link up or join us and read here.

It's faith in motion

Dear John...

Dear John,
Today is your birthday.  Happy Birthday.  I will do my best not to embarrass you on this day, but I love you and it's what I do... I blog...

Dear John,
Remember this?

Dear John,
Look at us on your 25th!  Who are those babies?

Dear John,
This is still my all time favorite picture of you... That wig isn't even part of your costume!

Dear John,
Remember when we saw this for the first time?  Remember we were so excited and so clueless on what was about to happen?  Remember when it was just us and the "peanut"?

Dear John,
This was a great day...

 Dear John,
I love this picture... You look happily shocked...

Dear John,

This is you and Mac.  I love your face because I know she is crying... And you are being soothing... I looked for this pic for a while, because there are only a few shots from the day she was born... Because that day was a train wreck!



Dear John,
I do not tell you enough that:
I love you, a ton, like more than Starbucks.
I appreciate everything you do for me and the girls.
I can't imagine my life without you.
I love your humor and jokes, they keep me sane, and unbelieveably happy.
I am not perfect, and I'm sorry that sometimes I expect you to be.

That you have given me my happily ever after.  And it's not perfect.  We are not perfect.  I would never expect it to be.  But this life, this mess, this laugh out loud journey with you...
Is my happily every after...

Dear John,
Happy birthday.  We love you.
Always,
Your girls.

Happy Blogging,
Megan

You look like one of THOSE bloggers...

This is exactly what my BF said the other day.  It's like the first thing she said to me when I answered the phone...
Ok, well not exactly...

It went like this:

Me:  Hello?

BF:  Hey big blogger, congrats on your guest post!

Me:  Well Thank you!

BF:  But you know that your pictures on that post make you

look like one of those bloggers

that has her shi*t together right?

Me:  Crap!

She is totally right.  Our family pictures make me and my family look like one of those bloggy families.  Like I'm one of those bloggers.  The ones who know how to correctly frost a cup cake with one of those piping bag thingies.  The ones whose kids have a bed time, bed time routine, and sleep in their own beds.  One of those bloggers that has a clean house.  An organized house.  One of those bloggers who looks like she stepped off a Pinterest board every day.

And for my next trick I'm going to get this baby to nap without a bottle!

I don't care that this child is about to rip out my earring
which will destroy my earlobe...
I'm too busy being obnoxiously cute and sassy.

Can we photo shop the bottle out?
I need this to scream perfection...
NOT!

I am not one of those bloggers.  I promise.  Friday night my kids ate cuties, trail mix, and french toast sticks for dinner.  There are currently at least 5 loads of laundry calling my name.  On Friday I didn't shower.  I wore jeans with Oreo cream on the back of the leg... Which I didn't notice until I was using the bathroom.  Oh, and yes, I use the bathroom.


So to further convince you that I am just a regular mom, here are some choice pictures of AbsoluteMommy in my AbsoluteLife...

This is me blogging.  In my nerdy glasses.
Notice the messy desk.
That's my hubby's biggest pet peeve...

This my friends is my kitchen junk drawer.

Yes that's a diaper, a rubber ducky, hair bands,

and lots of junk.  You're so jealous right now, right?

This is my pantry. 

That was organized until the

Christmas Bake-off Challenge of 2011.

We are always going to re-organize then...

The Kardashians are on, or something!

This is AbsoluteMommy in real life.

Dirty hair = bigger than life bump/poof pony tail.

Note to self: check the back of pony you look almost alien like!

Plaid shirt + jeans

Leopard flats to "dress" it up.

Messy desk.

Me trying to take self pics with my little helper.

NO MAKE-UP!!

This is my AbsoluteLife, friends.  I don't want to steer you any other way.  I'm always  gonna be real and honest on my blog.  I want you to do the same while visiting AbsoluteMommy.  This mothering stuff is no joke!  This is how I roll, and I'm gonna own it!  And maybe I'll clean the pantry today... But the Kardashian's are on...

Happy Blogging,

Megan

Linking up with one of my favorites!

Kristine at The Foley Fam {unedited} 4 and Counting!

Go and give her some love and LINK UP!