In sickness and in health...

We have all either taken this vow or heard someone take this vow.

We take it with visions of being old and growing old with our spouse.  Like sitting next to or in a hospital bed.  And holding wrinkled hands with each other.

We don't take it believing that this vow will challenge us so early in our marriage.

John and I will be married 7 years in April.  Seven.  It doesn't seem possible.  But we look at our girls, 4 and almost 2, and know we've done a lot in 7 years. 

But I don't think that 7 years ago, John knew that this vow, was going to be the one that was the most challenging. 

We had been married a little over a year when I got pregnant with Caitlin.  Those first 4 months were killer with all day sickness.  He would leave in the morning and return in the evening and I would still be in the same place.  Bed.  Still sick.  Still complaining.  Still mad at the world.  Because I hate being sick.

Then close to 3 years later, I was pregnant again, this time with Mackenzie.  The all day sickness was worse.  My blood pressure was high, the leg cramps were worse, and I had zero cravings... I hated it all.  I was mad that I wasn't indulging in ice cream.  Depressed that I couldn't do all the things I wanted too without being exhausted.  Frustrated that I wasn't enjoying my pregnancy.  I really didn't enjoy either pregnancy. 

So I'm sure he thought that when Mac was finally born, I'd be back to my old self.  I'm sure he was not prepared in anyway for the post partum hemorrhage that followed.  Neither was I.  I'm sure it left him just as speechless as it left me.  I'm sure he was completely unprepared for the frail and pale wife that met him in my post partum room, some 8 hours later.

I have continued to be sick since Mac was born.  Slowly getting worse and worse.  Slowing developing new symptoms.  I'm sure there isn't a way to prepare your husband for the golf ball size hair balls that he removes from the drain.  Or the $200 plus antibiotics, followed by the $100 anti-nausea to go with it.  Or the bills that will begin arriving, from the new medical clinic that will be seeing me soon.

Recently, after an exhausting day, we were in bed, watching TV, something reality or sports perhaps.  I said to him I guess you really didn't know that it really would be "in sickness and in health".  To which he replied, "Seriously.  Is it too late to rethink it?"

This is what he does.  He makes it funny.  He makes me laugh at myself and the situation.  He changes the tone.

He looked at all the tests that came in the mail, and made a joke about each and every one.  He looked at my modified elimination diet, and said, "What in God's name can you eat?".  He looked at the vials, and cups, and taped arms and said, "did they leave anything?". 

And sure sometimes I'm not in the mood to joke.  Sometimes I want a pity party. 

He won't let me.

I joked that I wanted to renew my vows this year.  Since it's lucky number 7. 

Perhaps we already are...

For better or worse.  In sickness and in health.  Forever and Always.

Happy Blogging,

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  1. Megan, this is simply beautiful! I think we don't really know what the vows we take really mean until we have lived it out. I love that you wrote this, real life and life challenges is what it's all about. It makes us appreciate our marriage more and our spouse for living up to their vows doesn't it? xoxo

  2. Amazing... I love hearing stories of spouses supporting and loving each other no matter's beautiful. Great post!

  3. This is a beautiful post Megan! With so many marriages failing these days, it's refreshing to read about those who stick together no matter what. My husband is always trying to make me laugh too when I'm down about something. And like you said, sometimes laughing is the last thing I wanna do, but I am so happy to have someone like him in my life...someone who can make me smile even through the worst of times. Sounds like you have yourself a keeper ;)

  4. Beautiful! In my relationship with my husband I am always the one trying to lighten the mood with humor. He does it does do it too though. That's just how we cope with things. I'm glad you found a good guy who sticks with you "in sickness and in health." Everyone deserves a partner like that.

  5. I can really relate to this. We were married just under 2 years when Rodolfo was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and it brought us closer together. Then 2 years after that when we found out he was infertile and we would have to do IVF to get pregnant, he told me he would understand if I wanted to leave him. And then we lost Nicholas and suddenly I was the one feeling unworthy. And both of my pregnancies were sick and miserable too. And now I might have MS. And so I guess we both figured out early on that we were in this together and we can both appreciate what it's like to be the sick one and the healthy one. I mean, that's what being married is about I guess. If you don't want to deal with the hard parts you should have stayed single.

  6. My prayers are with you for answers! I am taking the same journey right now and my marriage has become so much stronger for it. I can't wait to hear how your appointments with the medical clinic go for you!!

  7. We never quite know what all of those vows mean, do we? I love this. And the two of you.

  8. What a sweet post. I'm sorry you're so sick, that must be very frustrating.
    Just dropping by from Hollie's linkup.


  9. Thank you everyone!! Our marriage is far from perfect we fight we argue we love we move on. This has been a huge challenge but also very affirming. I appreciate all of your comments!

  10. beautiful. wonderful. awesome.

  11. Oh dear. This one had me in tears. I think it's because I know it's kind of love. Someone, that guy I married, shows me this kind of love. We're a lucky lot, you and I. I sometimes don't know why I deserve it. But am so thankful someone thinks I do. Very beautiful post.

  12. sniff, sniff... It's called grace. None of us deserves it, but we NEED it. God surely has chosen a special man for you. I'll be praying for a diagnosis for you. Blessings!

  13. Popping over from imagine gnats, I had the all day sickness. So sorry you don't feel well but so happy you have such a great partner. Wishing you the best!