This is part 1 of a real "Medical Mystery Tour" I'm about to take. It's going to be a journey for sure, and so what do I do? I blog about it of course. This is to bring you up to speed on what has brought me here.
I'm going to share this journey with you all, because it has been my goal from the very beginning to share all the good parts and the bad. This is a little of both. If you know me personally, and know me outside this blog, then you know I have been sick for awhile. Not like a cold, and not like a fever. I have been chronically ill since I got pregnant with Mac in September of 2009. True story.
Now if you know me here, as Absolute Mommy, then I'm sure you have noticed the GD it's GFree posts. Yes, I'm a celiac, and yes, I'm living the gluten free dream. Most of the time. It's just been in the last 2 or so years that the diet has stopped working. I'm still eating GF, and I'm being super obnoxious about cross contamination, and still my days are filled with anxiety. Anxiety because my intolerance to gluten sends me to the bathroom, and it's not pretty.
In late November I began having other symptoms. Like ocular migraines, extreme fatigue, and weight loss. I've lost about 8 pounds since September. Most days I eat when I know I'm going to be home. Because I hate being sick and away from home. It sucks. So I eat around my day, not during, and sometimes I don't eat.
And it's not healthy, and I'm not healthy. I'd like to say that I've seen my doctor and that they have given me some answers. But after a colonoscopy, an endoscopy, and countless tests and antibiotics, I'm still labeled irritable bowl and celiac. I've also been told that it's normal to have fatigue with two kiddos running around. So why can't I do more than three loads of laundry before I feel like I have to lie down? Why is my hair falling out in clumps? Why do I feel sick more often than not? Because I'm a celiac? Because it's just incurable irritable bowel? Because I'm a mom of two little ones?
I can't accept that anymore.
In December I was reading a favorite, but not often visited blog. If you get the chance go and check out her amazing and inspirational journey. No pitty party for her! I found her blog last summer when I was trying to make a tank dress. I was just doing my monthly check in, and I got the shock of a lifetime. This young, beautiful, blogging goddess, and mother was now in the fight of her life. Against Cancer.
What she thought was routine and overall a bad run of health was actually the Big C.
And I sat there and read.
And then I sat there and cried.
This my friends, is my worst fear.
That I've waited far too long to concentrate on my health.
To listen my body.
And now, I'm too late.
This is my biggest fear.
So I cried. And threw a fit. Because I was so damn mad at myself. How did I let this go? It's my health. And I'm a mom. But that's just it. I'm a mom, and the kiddos ALWAYS come first. Always. So yeah, I didn't feel great, but then they had bronchitis. Then I was having migraines and they had earaches. Blah, blah, and more blah. Excuses, excuses, and more excuses. And maybe I over did the dramatics, but I know in my mind and in my heart that I'm not well. That something needs help. That some changes whether to diet or medicine need to be made.
So I dried my tears.
I put on my big girl panties, and admitted that I needed to focus.
To focus on me. Just for a minute.
I realized that I can only be a mom, their mom, in this life.
And I can be a better mom if I'm well and healthy.
So I called this place... More on them in part 2. And I talked to some people and some doctors. Some doctors that said, "Let us help you", "Let us heal you", and "Let us get the answers you deserve".
And I cried.
I cried, because I've been sick most of my life. Because most doctors do the basic tests, and then when the results are negative they send me on my way. Most of the doctors in my life stop listening after my first few symptoms. Most look at me like I'm a hypochondriac. Most cut off most of my sentences, write a prescription, and in less than 5 minutes send me home.
I hope you stay with me on this journey my friends. I have so much to share. And it's not always going to be this heavy. I promise. Just for today and this post, we're gonna do heavy and dramatic. Today this is honest and on my mind and in my heart. Just for today.
PS: Please stay tuned for Part 2 where I introduce you all to Health Now Medical Clinic. And no they are not paying me, but WOW, if they would...