Medical Mystery Tour Part 1

This is part 1 of a real "Medical Mystery Tour" I'm about to take.  It's going to be a journey for sure, and so what do I do?  I blog about it of course.  This is to bring you up to speed on what has brought me here. 

I'm going to share this journey with you all, because it has been my goal from the very beginning to share all the good parts and the bad.  This is a little of both.  If you know me personally, and know me outside this blog, then you know I have been sick for awhile.  Not like a cold, and not like a fever.  I have been chronically ill since I got pregnant with Mac in September of 2009.  True story.

Now if you know me here, as Absolute Mommy, then I'm sure you have noticed the GD it's GFree posts.  Yes, I'm a celiac, and yes, I'm living the gluten free dream.  Most of the time.  It's just been in the last 2 or so years that the diet has stopped working.  I'm still eating GF, and I'm being super obnoxious about cross contamination, and still my days are filled with anxiety.  Anxiety because my intolerance to gluten sends me to the bathroom, and it's not pretty.

In late November I began having other symptoms.  Like ocular migraines, extreme fatigue, and weight loss.  I've lost about 8 pounds since September.  Most days I eat when I know I'm going to be home.  Because I hate being sick and away from home.  It sucks.  So I eat around my day, not during, and sometimes I don't eat. 

And it's not healthy, and I'm not healthy.  I'd like to say that I've seen my doctor and that they have given me some answers.  But after a colonoscopy, an endoscopy, and countless tests and antibiotics, I'm still labeled irritable bowl and celiac.  I've also been told that it's normal to have fatigue with two kiddos running around.  So why can't I do more than three loads of laundry before I feel like I have to lie down?  Why is my hair falling out in clumps?  Why do I feel sick more often than not?  Because I'm a celiac?  Because it's just incurable irritable bowel?  Because I'm a mom of two little ones? 

I can't accept that anymore.

In December I was reading a favorite, but not often visited blogIf you get the chance go and check out her amazing and inspirational journey.  No pitty party for her!  I found her blog last summer when I was trying to make a tank dress.  I was just doing my monthly check in, and I got the shock of a lifetime.  This young, beautiful, blogging goddess, and mother was now in the fight of her life.  Against Cancer. 

C-A-N-C-E-R.
What she thought was routine and overall a bad run of health was actually the Big C. 
And I sat there and read.
And then I sat there and cried.
This my friends, is my worst fear.
That I've waited far too long to concentrate on my health.
To listen my body.
And now, I'm too late.
This is my biggest fear.

So I cried.  And threw a fit.  Because I was so damn mad at myself.  How did I let this go?  It's my health.  And I'm a mom.  But that's just it.  I'm a mom, and the kiddos ALWAYS come first.  Always.  So yeah, I didn't feel great, but then they had bronchitis.  Then I was having migraines and they had earaches.  Blah, blah, and more blah.  Excuses, excuses, and more excuses.  And maybe I over did the dramatics, but I know in my mind and in my heart that I'm not well.  That something needs help.  That some changes whether to diet or medicine need to be made.

So I dried my tears.
I put on my big girl panties, and admitted that I needed to focus.
To focus on me.  Just for a minute.
I realized that I can only be a mom, their mom, in this life.
And I can be a better mom if I'm well and healthy.

So I called this place... More on them in part 2.  And I talked to some people and some doctors.  Some doctors that said, "Let us help you", "Let us heal you", and "Let us get the answers you deserve". 

And I cried.

I cried, because I've been sick most of my life.  Because most doctors do the basic tests, and then when the results are negative they send me on my way.  Most of the doctors in my life stop listening after my first few symptoms.  Most look at me like I'm a hypochondriac.  Most cut off most of my sentences, write a prescription, and in less than 5 minutes send me home.

I hope you stay with me on this journey my friends.  I have so much to share.  And it's not always going to be this heavy.  I promise.  Just for today and this post, we're gonna do heavy and dramatic.  Today this is honest and on my mind and in my heart.  Just for today.

Happy Blogging,
Megan

PS:  Please stay tuned for Part 2 where I introduce you all to Health Now Medical Clinic.  And no they are not paying me, but WOW, if they would...


12 comments:

  1. Megs... This just stopped me in my tracks. I feel so far away from you even though we're family. I get to see the happy you when you visit for a day. I don't see the sick you that waits to eat until everyone's asleep or you know you'll be home all day. I'm so glad you're putting your foot down and saying "THIS IS NOT OK!" I want to be here for you even though the miles separate us. What's something I can do? I wish I could come do a load of laundry. Take the kids out to the park to give you some breathing room. Something. But what? I feel stuck. Help me help you... The one thing I can do is pray. Pray my little heart out. Dear Father, Please heal Megan's body and make her pain cease. May your strength increase, and her fears be released. She cannot do this alone. Show her the way God. Be with her. Grant health to her body and clarity with her mind. In Jesus name, Amen. I love you Megs.

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    1. I know you pray for me everyday, but thank you for this!
      Love you too!

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  2. Megan, Thank you for sharing this and I will most definitely be with you on your journey. I will be praying for strength. I will be praying for answers. I will be praying for healing. I am so glad that you were able to take a step back and focus on YOU.

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  3. I'm so sorry you are sick. I can understand feeling sick and the doctors telling you there's nothing wrong. I pray you get the answers you are looking for so you can get the help you need. Hugs!

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  4. I'm so sorry! I hope you find the answers you need and stay strong!! I will be praying for you too!

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  5. Oh friend! My heart is aching for you :( I read this thru tears! I will be with you on this journey cheering you on!! If there is anything I can do, you know all you have to do is ask soul sistah ;) Praying for you and your family!! Lots of hugs and love sent to you!

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  6. Thanks for sharing! I think you're stronger than you even know. I'll be praying for you & will be with you on your journey. :)

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  7. Oh Meg, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I too have issues with tummy troubles when I eat. And it has gotten to the point that I can't even go out to eat anymore. With in minutes of eating I have to use the restroom. A friend of mine wanted to do dinner out and I had to have them over to our house instead because I am so terrified of eating out. I didn't even eat dinner at home the last two nights because I am scared of what I will have to go through if I do eat. I tried to see a specialist when I was pregnant but he told me it was indigestion...ummm no!

    So here I am, pretty much confined to eating at home with no answers and I have pretty much given up on finding them. I am so hoping that these new Doctors can give you some relief and answers!

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    1. Oh, I'm so sorry. That truely is the story of my life. I'm sure my friends think I'm a hermit because I decline lunch and dinner dates all the time. The anxiety of dining out or at someone's house is overwhelming.
      I completely understand. Please try and try again to talk to your doctors. Ask them about testing and diets.
      Sometimes you have to take your life into your own hands, and seek your own answers. I did this in 2002 after not being able to eat for a week. I've been on lots of elimination diets... If you need info on these let me know!

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  8. Megan~ I am definitely by your {cyber} side and will be praying for you. Thank you for taking on this journey, I can only imagine the courage needed to do so. May God place the people you will need most at your disposal to get the answers you need.

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    1. Thank you! I always smile when I see your name in the comments!

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  9. Thanks to all of you that have commented. I really appreciate it. I'll keep you all posted AND please, please ask any and all questions. You can email me directly or on here.

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